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So, for some reason I haven’t found myself writing in my diary much. I haven’t really felt the desire. A part of me feels too lazy to catch up, but a bigger part of me is still healing from Fox reading my diary. It reminded me of when that happened in the past and I felt like I couldn’t be as open about what was truly lingering on my mind.
The past week or so I’ve been hiking with Orange Man. It started when we met each other in Wrightwood. We got breakfast together and shared each other’s company. We decided to hike the next section together and since then it has been about a week.
We had been sharing my tent… I invited him one night since it was going to be cold and we ended up just kind of tenting together. It’s been really fun to watch how comfortable we became with one another. We became more playful, we joked with each other more, we became more childlike. All I felt was gratitude.
We definitely experienced some challenges… Trekking through the snow and wind was definitely more challenging than Fuller Ridge.
Yesterday, I felt really appreciated because I was humming the lyrics and singing parts of the song “In the Morning” by ZHU and he noticed and told me to keep going because he thought I was good. I seriously felt so loved in that moment.
Yesterday, when we began our hike, I already noticed the connection growing to a deeper level because I asked him if there were any habits that he was trying to work through and he said he was working on being more vulnerable and open with people and that he just wanted to learn how to love himself more. So, I thought that was cool. I heard him out.
We got to experience a lot of trail magic that day. We were gifted hot dogs, tacos, and sodas! We also went to the KOA and got some ice cream!! We dove deep into the shared experience of feeling like kids. This was THE most guilt free I have felt eating food. I felt so kid-ish like I did when I was really young. There wasn’t even a second thought about it. You just ate to enjoy the taste and the sensations. Pure appreciation.
I experienced a really funny moment a little over a week ago. So, I got into the habit of carrying pinecones because I was purely obsessed with them. Then, I ended up going to McDonald’s and after I left, I had a trail Angel stop me on the side of the road. His name was Prodigy. He noticed I was carrying a 55 pound backpack and a giant bag hanging over it. He made fun of me for a bit and then Silly Moose came by and saw me pull out one pinecone at a time and just lost himself in laughter. It was a really sweet moment to experience happiness through myself and through another. This man was a trail Angel, because he mailed the pinecones home for me. I felt so much gratitude the whole hike up the mountain, just feeling how light I felt. I think I would’ve been in tears if I would’ve continued on with them.