August 11, 2019 (Part 2)

The past couple days on the trail felt like I was being tested hard. I made the expectation that I would cruise through these couple of days due to the elevation being very light & the terrain being mostly smooth. Of course, those 2 days I was hit with a hail/thunderstorm. I was soaking wet & cold. I was also aware of the fact I had to start hiking at 4am each day to make it to Oregon on time. I was wondering why I am even doing this. I was contemplating quitting or at least skipping several miles. I felt at my lowest on the trail. I was crying as I was walking & felt defeated physically & emotionally. It was at this point, I saw a southbounder walking towards me & he put his hands up in prayer, greeting me with a smile. I was going to keep walking, but instead decided to talk to him. I just really felt like I needed someone so I told him how I felt really unsure of this whole thing. I told him how I keep getting this perception that I never have one day where the pct just gives me a break. It feels like there’s always “something”. He approached me with such gentleness & pure light, I swear he was an angel. He let me know how he experiences the same perceptions & that his thoughts tell him “I want this to be other than it is.” He laughed & explained, “it’s for us to experience, & if you feel like you need to cry, then own it! Have a break down, pull a temper tantrum, do whatever you feel Iike you need to do… There’s no one to blame here… & remember, it’s all passing.” I was in tears as he reminded me of what was true. He held my hands in his to warm me up because he noticed I was shivering cold. Afterwards, he made sure I had enough food & said he still wanted to gift me a snack to help keep me feeling light. As he took his pack off, I noticed he barely had anything, & on top of it, all of his stuff was soaking wet from the storm, including his sleeping bag. I was reminded that there’s nothing to complain about, & that all of us are in the same boat. After that moment, it seemed in an instant everything dissipated & I was able to sink into lightness again. I don’t know what this trail would be without every person walking it.