April 2, 2020:
I moved back to Cinderland today, and I did feel at home, but at the same time, I felt a lot of sexual energy come up. It seemed like I was almost being pushed into a corner with all of the guys who were trying to hit on me and I saw Corey (the porn star guy) who immediately tried hitting on me. He grabbed my ass and everything. I felt really caught off guard. People have been making me sound like some sort of goddess and I feel like I’ve been put on a pedestal. I know it’s not true and it’s only what is coming up, but of all the guys I’ve met, I resonate with Stone the most. There are some things that were red flags with him—having no money, being into anime/video games, etc. It’s the pattern I’ve seen in a lot of my boyfriends. It’s not necessarily a red flag, it’s more so a ‘not for me’ thing. We’ve been slowly getting more touchy-feely and we cuddled in the back of a pick up truck, held each other, laughed and talked to each other gently. He often puts his hand on my lower back. I feel like a virgin since I haven’t had sex in six months. I feel some nervousness when it comes to flirting and being handsy with people.
I moved back to Cinderland today, and I did feel at home, but at the same time, I felt a lot of sexual energy come up. It seemed like I was almost being pushed into a corner with all of the guys who were trying to hit on me and I saw Corey (the porn star guy) who immediately tried hitting on me. He grabbed my ass and everything. I felt really caught off guard. People have been making me sound like some sort of goddess and I feel like I’ve been put on a pedestal. I know it’s not true and it’s only what is coming up, but of all the guys I’ve met, I resonate with Stone the most. There are some things that were red flags with him—having no money, being into anime/video games, etc. It’s the pattern I’ve seen in a lot of my boyfriends. It’s not necessarily a red flag, it’s more so a ‘not for me’ thing. We’ve been slowly getting more touchy-feely and we cuddled in the back of a pick up truck, held each other, laughed and talked to each other gently. He often puts his hand on my lower back. I feel like a virgin since I haven’t had sex in six months. I feel some nervousness when it comes to flirting and being handsy with people.