May 4, 2020:
Rainbow dorm decided it would be awesome to have a rave party on Friday and it was the best ecstatic dance I ever went to. It was in the yoga studio, pitch black darkness. We danced so hard and we were just being kids, I think that’s why I felt so grateful. I felt no fear and just wiggled my body and did what people considered weird. However, I don’t think there was anything weird about it, it was simply energy being released and expressed. So we all became like animals and just began shouting out random animals that we could embody. We had a kick out of acting like coqui frogs. We were just hopping around one another, ribbeting, and then we embodied being a fish out of water, and we flopped around on the floor. We embodied bears, dinosaurs, birds, dolphins, and anything we could think of. We made a bunch of weird noises and cried from all of the laughter. Then, Sparkle suggested we just spin in a circle in a circle around one another until we got dizzy. THAT was so fun. We all ended up tripping, falling face first on the floor. I peed myself numerous times from laughing so much. I invited Isaiah to come join us and he did, however I felt he didn’t match up with me energetically. I felt in a very childlike state of mind, and he came to dance and grind it on me. I wasn’t feeling it, so he twirled away and went to lay on the massage table. I continued to dance until I felt pulled towards him and I went to kiss him. He was touching himself and was all hard and pushed my head down to blow him. I rolled my eyes and felt some upset that he wasn’t able to tune into what I was truly desiring in that moment.
The past couple of days with him have been fun. We’ve been playing out our fetishes and fantasies. I’ve never had anyone hold me down the way he does, so firm and fierce. He apparently raped me this morning, which was a lot of fun and then he put me on a leash and walked me around Cinderland for an hour or so. I loved feeling myself choke and get rope burn from the pulling, along with having him command me to do random things. I especially loved when he did it in front of people and filmed me. It reminded me of being a sugar baby and learning how to set boundaries, speak up, have fun, all sorts of things. Sometimes I find myself saying no to him and I love that, too.
Yesterday he drove me to the lighthouse and we hung out on the beach. I was listening to Lana the whole time, and felt extremely aroused. I sat on top of him in the front seat and began to kiss him. We both looked so sexy. The warm wind was blowing so hard on both of us. The ocean in the background, and we began to make love. It was so sexy and romantic. We got rougher with one another. Hair pulling, scratching, nails in skin until we almost bled.
After we were done, we went on top of his car and he chopped me a coconut as I exposed myself to the setting sun, and he spanked me. In that moment, I felt only gratitude and love. I knew I was playing the role of being his and everyone else’s Lolita, but I was having fun. I enjoyed having him dominate me, even though I knew I was playing him in the end… I knew I didn’t need him and I was already fantasizing for my next prey. I wonder if I can experience God and innocence, even as I’m playing out the role of being a slut.
We even had a romantic moment when I brought up the idea of me trimming my bush, and he seemed to get upset and said, “Please do not trim it. I feel so honored that I can have you fully in this way… Too many girls shave and I’m so grateful that you don’t.”
Rainbow dorm decided it would be awesome to have a rave party on Friday and it was the best ecstatic dance I ever went to. It was in the yoga studio, pitch black darkness. We danced so hard and we were just being kids, I think that’s why I felt so grateful. I felt no fear and just wiggled my body and did what people considered weird. However, I don’t think there was anything weird about it, it was simply energy being released and expressed. So we all became like animals and just began shouting out random animals that we could embody. We had a kick out of acting like coqui frogs. We were just hopping around one another, ribbeting, and then we embodied being a fish out of water, and we flopped around on the floor. We embodied bears, dinosaurs, birds, dolphins, and anything we could think of. We made a bunch of weird noises and cried from all of the laughter. Then, Sparkle suggested we just spin in a circle in a circle around one another until we got dizzy. THAT was so fun. We all ended up tripping, falling face first on the floor. I peed myself numerous times from laughing so much. I invited Isaiah to come join us and he did, however I felt he didn’t match up with me energetically. I felt in a very childlike state of mind, and he came to dance and grind it on me. I wasn’t feeling it, so he twirled away and went to lay on the massage table. I continued to dance until I felt pulled towards him and I went to kiss him. He was touching himself and was all hard and pushed my head down to blow him. I rolled my eyes and felt some upset that he wasn’t able to tune into what I was truly desiring in that moment.
The past couple of days with him have been fun. We’ve been playing out our fetishes and fantasies. I’ve never had anyone hold me down the way he does, so firm and fierce. He apparently raped me this morning, which was a lot of fun and then he put me on a leash and walked me around Cinderland for an hour or so. I loved feeling myself choke and get rope burn from the pulling, along with having him command me to do random things. I especially loved when he did it in front of people and filmed me. It reminded me of being a sugar baby and learning how to set boundaries, speak up, have fun, all sorts of things. Sometimes I find myself saying no to him and I love that, too.
Yesterday he drove me to the lighthouse and we hung out on the beach. I was listening to Lana the whole time, and felt extremely aroused. I sat on top of him in the front seat and began to kiss him. We both looked so sexy. The warm wind was blowing so hard on both of us. The ocean in the background, and we began to make love. It was so sexy and romantic. We got rougher with one another. Hair pulling, scratching, nails in skin until we almost bled.
After we were done, we went on top of his car and he chopped me a coconut as I exposed myself to the setting sun, and he spanked me. In that moment, I felt only gratitude and love. I knew I was playing the role of being his and everyone else’s Lolita, but I was having fun. I enjoyed having him dominate me, even though I knew I was playing him in the end… I knew I didn’t need him and I was already fantasizing for my next prey. I wonder if I can experience God and innocence, even as I’m playing out the role of being a slut.
We even had a romantic moment when I brought up the idea of me trimming my bush, and he seemed to get upset and said, “Please do not trim it. I feel so honored that I can have you fully in this way… Too many girls shave and I’m so grateful that you don’t.”