This is a bit difficult to write but I almost got raped today. I am not trying to victimize, I am aware that I was very much a part of this. I talked often about how I wanted to roleplay such things & the Universe said yes to my desires, as it does.
I want to be clear that when I fantasize about these scenarios that there still needs to be consent. There needs to be communication BEFORE getting into character.
I was expecting a ride a couple of hours down the road. I just finished the OCT & planned to meet up with Bryce. About 10 minutes into the drive, the energy changed drastically & I felt I was about to be totally fucked. I will save the details of what unfolded for my written book.
Long story short, shit unfolded pretty intensely. I was terrified, shaking & trying everything I could to hold my composure. It is a superpower to stay calm in those moments. However, this time I felt myself go weak. I was bawling my eyes out. I looked into his eyes to show him the pain I was experiencing & the trippiest thing was getting the perception that he was experiencing zero empathy. It was as though he didn’t, or more so couldn’t understand why I was upset.
I still don’t think hitching is a “bad” experience. Sometimes, stuff like this does happen, but I’m not going to let one bad experience taint my perception. I am aware it is just the Universe giving me opportunities to practice assertiveness & be more keen in my judgements.
I want to be clear that when I fantasize about these scenarios that there still needs to be consent. There needs to be communication BEFORE getting into character.
I was expecting a ride a couple of hours down the road. I just finished the OCT & planned to meet up with Bryce. About 10 minutes into the drive, the energy changed drastically & I felt I was about to be totally fucked. I will save the details of what unfolded for my written book.
Long story short, shit unfolded pretty intensely. I was terrified, shaking & trying everything I could to hold my composure. It is a superpower to stay calm in those moments. However, this time I felt myself go weak. I was bawling my eyes out. I looked into his eyes to show him the pain I was experiencing & the trippiest thing was getting the perception that he was experiencing zero empathy. It was as though he didn’t, or more so couldn’t understand why I was upset.
I still don’t think hitching is a “bad” experience. Sometimes, stuff like this does happen, but I’m not going to let one bad experience taint my perception. I am aware it is just the Universe giving me opportunities to practice assertiveness & be more keen in my judgements.