(X-rated) Aug 9, 2023:
I woke up around 4:30am in an Econo Lodge parking lot with Kyle and his sister sleeping next to me in the car. Apparently, it had stormed all night while he drove. I just remember waking up to random bursts of thunder and lightning shows thinking I was in a dream state.
I went to pee in the grass behind a tree and found bundles of pinecones scattered on the ground, so I collected one to bring to Mo and his wife as a welcoming gift.
I gave Kyle the twenty dollar bill for gas that the lady had given me since they were running low on money as well. It was extremely difficult for him to just accept it since he knew I was broke, too. I assured him I didn’t mind. Money came and went—the gift was in recognizing that and letting it flow.
We drove a couple of hours and met Mo in an Arby’s parking lot. I gave him a big hug; I felt so grateful that I came out to see him and that I would be spending some time with CTM, too. I loved my tramily so much and to be able to just see their faces was a huge blessing. I gave Kyle and Cherri a hug, thanked them for taking me all that way and for being such cool and authentic people to hang around.
When we got to Mo’s, I gifted him the pinecone and he laughed and said, “I have one for you, too,” then walked over to the corner of his garage and pulled out a bucket of pinecones that were identical to the one I had given him.
“Of course,” I said.
When we entered his kitchen, Mo revealed a tray of brownies that he had under cooked to my liking! He even made me a super big breakfast to which I devoured. I felt so grateful. Then, I took modeling pics of his doggies before going to my room and taking a much needed nap. Mo teased me for not having a reason to be tired because all I did was hitchhike and sleep in peoples’ cars.
“Nuh uh,” I defended, “sometimes I had to walk .2 miles to get to an on-ramp!”
After I slept, Mo invited me on a river walk with CTM, so I got dressed and we were on our way. I completely forgot that Mo drove like an absolute psychopath so I broke out a sweat before we even hit the trail.
I was so happy to see CTM again. We hugged and then all began walking. I felt so at home. I was with people I loved along with surrounding views of the Rockies and a river that people were floating on. I observed the leaves swaying on the trees and watched as adrenaline junkies paraglided high above us. Freedom. I felt free. I felt my wings were bursting open again. That was what it was all about for me—being around people that made me feel appreciated and in places that left me in complete awe.
I was learning what self-love meant again through a variety of different ways. I took pictures of stink bugs perched on a cactus petal, then we went to get some sushi that had sexualized sounding rolls, such as ‘Playboy Roll’, ‘Lover Roll’ and ‘Spicy Girl Roll.’
Our tramily somehow always got on very random topics of conversation that were mostly sexual, sarcastic or just straight up weird. This time our topics consisted of ass rape, virgins and swallowing cum. It was even funnier because we would openly talk about it in public. The lady next to our table looked absolutely traumatized by our presence.
Afterwards, we walked around Golden and CTM bought me some ice cream. We posed like cacti next to some metal cacti art and took some silly pictures. I wanted to take a picture under the ‘GOLDEN’ sign, but right as I was walking towards it, a bubbly girl came up to me and asked if I could please take a picture of her and her friend under the sign.
Her friend goes, “She traveled all the way from Lithuania to be here!”
In the background, Mo asks, “Is she your mail order bride?”
CTM punched his arm.
My jaw dropped and I exclaimed, “Oh my GOD! Aš irgi Lietuve (I’m also Lithuanian)!”
We were both mind blown and went off about how crazy of a synchronicity it was. We had such a girlish moment together, I loved it.
Then, we walked back to the car, parted ways with CTM and drove home. I went out on Mo’s porch since Voodoo wanted to talk to me. As he was speaking, I looked out at the mountains that were the backdrop of Mo’s backyard. I thought to myself how amazing it felt to be on the west coast. It felt like the moment since I entered the state of Colorado, I was at home again in my mind. The way the mountains seemed to make me feel was absolutely out of this world and unlike anything else.
And as I tuned into that feeling, of pure serenity and peace, I remembered of when I first went out to hike the Colorado Trail.
I had told the trail Angel who was driving me to the trailhead, “I want a man that makes me feel the way the mountains make me feel.”
What a wake up call it was to recognize in my mind that I had never come close to anything like that feeling with a man before. Why did that feeling only seem to appear in my field when I was alone and with God as my center?