(X-rated) August 15, 2023:
Last night, I dreamt that I was hitchhiking with a guy whom I slept with that was one of my dad’s employees. I remember feeling shame that my dad would find out the way I was and want nothing to do with me anymore. I arrived to my hometown with a big black teddy bear that I carried with me on the road. The guy and I had a very hard time finding my childhood home. It felt we were walking around in circles.
I kept saying, “I swear it was just here. I remember.”
We kept making different turns and taking side paths I thought I knew would lead us there, but eventually, I just stood outside and became still. My childhood friend appeared in my vision and she quickly helped me find it.
“Look!” she said as she pointed to the window and shouted, “my mom is standing with your dad!”
We both yelled for them and I ran up towards my dad without hesitation. Immediately, I sat in his lap, hugging him so deeply. I didn’t want to let go. Just the scent of him smelled like home, specifically that of my old house. I started crying as his pheromones brought me back to a vision of my childhood of me laying in bed with my parents. It was early in the morning and they were drinking black coffee as we listened to the cars drive by. They let me try some sips of their coffee, curious of why they felt they needed such a magic potion every morning to get out of bed. I remembered hating it, wondering to myself if that was what it meant to be an adult, to drink things that tasted sharp and bitter.
Then, I was brought back to all of the ways my family took care of me and helped me along this journey and how much they loved on me. Through my dad’s scent, I remembered the safety and protection he brought into our lives. I began crying, feeling so grateful to be home and to be in his arms. I felt so grateful he was alive and physically there in that moment with me. I felt in full appreciation of him and awoke to myself crying.
I packed my stuff and started walking toward the coast in the dark, following the sound of the crashing waves. I was drawn to the water meeting the sand. Just the same as Hawaii, the Oregon coast invoked deep feelings of peace, making me feel seen and felt in a way that no human has ever brought out of me.
I came across the area that I had camped near last year and felt a sense of sadness arise. The memories of my past were recalled through energy based feelings and that day last year felt very heavy on my heart. I held the little girl inside of me, reminding her that there was no need to feel so troubled. I could just take in the feeling of the waves and give it all up to God, letting him wash away the pain, thus allowing my mind to be cleansed.
The sky was a deep red as I walked through the wet brushes… the sound of the waves grew louder in rhythm. Over the hill, I welcomed the sun to rise with me. I ran down towards the wet sand as I made the first footprints upon the shoreline. I twirled around in a circle, feeling as if I was the only one walking through the entirety of the wide open Oregon coast.
How blessed was I to be able to experience the sweet ocean mist that kissed my face and mused its way into my heart. All worries of money, sex, sorrows had vanished and all that was left was the sound of my breath patterned with the crashing waves and steady peace in my heart. I felt I could hike the Oregon coast up and down for the rest of my life if I had to. I would be honored to cherish the land beneath my feet through each mindful step.
Close to the shore I discovered a teepee, so I sat inside the middle of it and took a breath. Shortly after, I watched as a man and his dog walked onto the beach to play. God, how much I loved and appreciated people—talking to people, smiling at people, laughing with people—something I seemed to forget I had the option and freedom to experience when I was with Voodoo on the east coast.
Voodoo. It seemed there were days when there was so much healing to be done and I could barely pick myself up and find light in my situation. Other days, I was able to quickly recognize that I was making something out of nothing and that I had the choice to drop the weight of the thoughts, allowing them to instantaneously dissolve into the lightness of Truth.
Nature was the place I came to heal and to better understand. I looked at a photo of Voodoo and all of a sudden I understood the pain I had brought into my own heart. I wasn’t saying he was to blame, in fact, quite the opposite. I knew that everyone had the best intentions for me in the best way they knew how to supply that. But, it was up to me to take full responsibility, because he had clearly shown me the way he wanted to relate from the very beginning and I energetically kept saying ‘yes’ over and over again even though it was a big ‘no’.
I was so deeply wounding my own heart by consciously recognizing my worth, yet sticking around to energetically punch myself in the face over and over again just to feel something after being so numb with him for so long. Self-hatred is what it was. I didn’t feel worthy of the thought that I could have, and even deserved a man who was in alignment with me, not only sexually, but also with my heart, spiritually and emotionally. I heard Vadim’s voice whisper to me, “You foolish, foolish girl.” He would always say that to me in such a loving way, not berating me, but instead recognizing my silliness and pointing it out.
Once I got to the end of the beach, I came across a rock face wall that led back to the road. I felt inspired to go to a coffee shop, so I decided to hitch a ride. A lovely young man pulled over and asked where I was going.
“Anywhere you’re going is fine,” I said, “I just want to go to a café and grab some coffee.”
“Perfect,” he said, “hop in!”
His name was Jason. He was tall, blonde, light-skinned and muscular. Guess I had been having a thing for blondes this summer. When we started talking about the trail I was on, it turned out his ex was an avid thru-hiker and had hiked the same trails as me! I told him to give her my info in case she wanted to hike with me. Then I told him I felt inspired to hitch north up along the coast for the day.
He asked where my end goal was and I said, “Astoria!”
I loved how I didn’t actually plan it throughout the day, the answers would just slip out of my mouth and then I would be like oh yes, that sounds nice! Also funny, because he said that Astoria was where his ex was moving.
I found I was physically attracted to Jason and wanted to visit him again before I hitched out. He seemed like he would have a nice cock, I could just tell. So, we exchanged information and said we would meet up again.
So, I met up with Oliver who hosted me back last year in Philomath. He met up with me at the coast and took me out for breakfast. The energy felt different with him this year in comparison to last year.
I could tell he read my blog just by a comment he made at one point saying, “Has someone been a bad girl? Does someone need a spanking?”
I just remember disassociating after that. I felt so angry at myself for not speaking up and letting him know that the comment made me very uncomfortable. Instead, we continued to hangout and I acted like everything was fine. I was starting to recognize that pattern within myself very clearly. Why was I acting like I was okay in moments when I really wasn’t? Was it some sort of protection response?
We went to the harbor to look at the sea lions and to watch one of the workers catching crabs using a net. I learned that the female crabs had to go back into the ocean because they were not allowed to be caught and needed to be used for reproduction.
Jason reached out shortly after and invited me out on a short walk with his dog and said he could pick me up in the afternoon while he was on his work break. I was all in! So, he picked me up, then drove us to Mike Miller Park. The walk ended up being oh, so beautiful! I saw a snake slithering around so I petted it for a bit. It stood still as it let me touch it and appreciate its beauty.
Then, we came across a side path that led to a swampy pond with lily pads. I felt I was being lifted with joy, as if I just wanted to embrace all of the trees with a hug. Oo, I felt so happy! I loved being in the Oregon forest again with the moss covered trees along with such an easily paved path—no roots or rocks. I promised to never take the west coast trails for granted ever again.
The walk went by way too fast, so I said, “Awe, can we at least go visit the ocean?”
He smiled and said, “Yes!”
He took me to a spot where I had walked through a couple years back. I had to restrain myself from picking up every rock that I came across, except for one because it looked like a shiny purple piece of coral. I took photos of seaweed and waves as I spoke of my passion for romance.
He asked, “So, would you say it would be romantic if I kissed you right now?”
“Mm, it would most definitely be romantic,” I flirted.
I got a birds eye view of us standing in the sand, between the hills and the waves. He pulled me in close as the ocean mist sprinkled upon our fair skin and he slowly brought his lips toward mine. As our tongues dipped into each others world, he let out a gentle sigh of gratitude, then pulled me in closer.
I tuned into the rough feeling of his beard upon my cheeks and appreciated the essence of his masculinity. He began groping my hips with confidence and I joined him by slipping my hand over his crotch, feeling the temptation of his heated cock luring me in. We pulled away, catching our breaths as I wiped the corners of my mouth. I was all giggles for receiving such a gift.
We walked back to his car and he kissed me against the door, then some more when we sat inside. I dreamt of tasting his seed and getting a chance to play with him.
He drove me up the road and parked his car in someone’s driveway, then said, “These are all peoples’ second homes,” implying that there would be no one there.
He unzipped my shirt to feel me up and told me I had amazing tits, then playfully went in for a nibble. He came back up to meet my lips and shared his tongue. He was a really good kisser, very in tune and in the flow of what I desired, guiding me with his dominance.
I unbuckled his belt with one hand, then went to unbotton his jeans with the other.
I pulled away momentarily as I smiled and asked, “May I?”
He nodded his head and said, “Oh yeah.”
I unzipped his jeans and pulled him out with my needy hand. Another perfect sized cock. How was I getting so lucky?
Without hesitation, I put him in my mouth and felt his pre-cum leaking out onto my tongue, a LOT! He grew solid in my mouth instantaneously. He moaned and thrusted his hips over and over again, fucking my mouth with his cock.
“Fuck that feels so good,” he would say.
He grew extremely rock hard and told me he was going to cum.
I thought to myself, No, not yet!
I wanted to feel his cock in my mouth for much much longer, but he suddenly unloaded. I quickly shifted to excitement when I felt how much cum he had saved up for me. It was a mouthful and I got to swallow every drop. I wished I could have had more. I wished I could have felt his cock penetrating me. My pussy was leaking with juice. I wanted him more than ever now.
He was out of breath as he tilted his head back and said, “I didn’t expect anything like this to happen today.” He released a grunt of pure pleasure and said, “You give epic blowjobs.”
I loved the way the Universe just brought me these virile men into my field, right beneath my feet, without any doing of my own. It was as if I could feel them coming just around the corner and I just expected them to show.
Later, he expressed how badly he wanted to fuck me, but didn’t know if I would find it weird since I was menstruating. I told him I would not have cared and that it actually feels much better. Now in a state of regret, he said he would come visit me or take me in any time I needed a place to stay, even buying me a plane ticket to spend the weekend with him. That was where I found the financial part attractive—when men took care of the logistics and provided me with an experience.
I asked him to drop me off right outside the neighborhood and then I got a hitch by a man who reminded me of a 50 year old frat guy just by the way he spoke. I hitched as I walked and a white van quickly swerved off the road onto a dirt patch, causing clouds of dust to rise and surround the vehicle.
Please don’t be a creepy dude, I sarcastically joked with myself.
A young woman hopped out of the drivers seat and opened up the back. There was a big mattress with rock climbing equipment on it and she began to move everything around to make room for me.
“Hey, my name is Katrina!” she said, “I can take you a little bit up the road.”
She was so bubbly and inviting! I was actually surprised to see she had a baby in her car, because in my experience, most people would not pick up a hitchhiker if they had their kids with them. As she started driving, I told her I was going to Astoria, but that however far she was going was perfectly fine for me.
She says, “I’ll just take you all the way to Astoria.”
“But it’s about three hours away,” I said.
“It’s all good,” she reassured, “I live out of my van, so I don’t mind cruising my way up and down the coast.”
I was speechless. I had never had such ease with hitchhiking as I did this current year. It felt effortless and it was funny because I really wanted to take my time. It was as if when I truly did not care how or even if I would get there, people would happen to pick me up sooner and would go super long distances.
After she dropped me off, I gave her pretty much all of the food that people had bought/gifted me. I figured she would need it much more than me and I trusted that I would run into others who would feel inspired to feed me.
I walked along the coast again, soaking in the rest of the energy for the time being. My initial reason for hitching all the way out to the west was to go hike the Timberline Trail. I figured I would have a couple of days to explore the coast and then a few days to hike before I went to PCT Trail Days. I really wanted to go to all of the Trail Days this year since it didn’t unfold last year. However, I did the math and figured it would be nearly impossible to make all of that happen. I had gotten so caught up on the coastal waves and Jason’s cock that I forgot I had to hitch inland this morning to make it on time. So, I let it go and found a small trail to hike, instead.
I walked a few miles as the sun was beginning to set, but then thought to myself, Fuck it, I want to hitch to the Timberline Trail.
I figured I could hike the trail in two days, versus three. It would be doable if I hitched out right then and there. That way, I could at least make it a couple hours down the road, leaving only an hour to hitch the following morning.
I climbed up and over a guardrail to the 101, then hitched in a terrible spot where cars were going super fast and had zero room to pull over. I felt I did much stupider shit during my moon cycle. I seemed to experience a more ‘salty’ personality and acted out in more sporadic and irrational ways.
Two young guys in a work vehicle stopped to pick me up. I tried rushing to hop in and they assured me I didn’t have to because their truck was so big that the cars behind them either had to stop or would crash into them. They were on their way home to relax after working all day.
They told me they would drive me a little ways. During the drive, they began slamming beers one after another. There were multiple times when I told them I could hop off at the next pull-out, but they kept insisting me not worry about it and that they would take me further to help me along my journey.
They ended up driving a good hour and a half, nearly at the edge of the city. By that time, they got so drunk, they began slurring their words, telling me how I had beautiful eyes and admitting how they found me cute. Their expressions grew more sultry, but I didn’t feel scared.
However, I did feel a sense of fear arise when they began to play loud music and one of them turned around and said, “Here’s a song I know you’ll appreciate.”
The song was “Ain’t Nothin’ Free.”
Both of them would turn around, making eye contact with me as they loudly sang, “If you wanna come along with me, ain’t nothing in the world for free! If I can’t smoke and I can’t poke it, better get my V8 stroking. No ass, no gas, no grass, no ride!”
That was the only time I felt a truly cringing moment. The driver then proceeded to invite me to Idaho to stay at his parents home, assuring me they would host me for however long I needed and would probably try to adopt me as their daughter. He said it was close to the Sawtooths and that we could all go adventuring together. I would’ve been down if he didn’t have the intentions of fucking me. I wasn’t into the sloppy drunk vibe in men; it was an automatic ‘no’ for me.
They dropped me off at an intersection and I continued to hitch. By that time, the sun was a deep orange hue. I was in a really solid spot to camp near the on-ramp, yet the inspiration guided me to continue hitchhiking.
I got a ride by a guy who drove me to a town just barely outside of Portland. He dropped me off and told me that this was where all the prostitutes hung out. I saw a bunch of them walking around, barely wearing clothes. Girls walked out of the motel rooms wearing tight pink and red dresses, barefoot with their high heels hanging off their fingers. Their hair wild and their bodies were wearing thin. He saw the look of distraught on my face as my body simultaneously tensed up. He asked if I wanted a ride a little further up.
“I would really appreciate that,” I said.
So, he took me to the next exit where a few young guys picked me up from there. They were on their way to drink by the river and invited me, but I said no, so they took me just outside of Gresham.
There, I continued to hitch, which at that point it was already around 8:30pm and the sky was completely dark. As I was walking on the sidewalk, a man approached me and excitedly opened his arms as if coming in for a hug, then quickly recognized I was someone else, but still went in for a hug. I laughed and hugged him back, then hitched right under a stoplight, figuring there might be a little bit more light for people to see me.
A big, black lifted pick up truck pulled over and a man rolled down the window to ask where I was going. Fuck, he was so hot—dark features, full sleeve tattoos, super fit, 5 o’clock shadow and a deep voice that I was always a sucker for.
“I’m just trying to find a spot to camp for the night that’s away from people,” I said.
He let me hop in and said he would offer me a spot at his house, but that his girlfriend wouldn’t feel comfortable with it.
I bantered, “I swear I’m a normal chick,” to ease any perception he had of me being a prostitute or a drug addict.
“I know,” he said, “that’s the problem. My girlfriend wouldn’t feel comfortable with me bringing a hot hiker girl home.”
I blushed and said, “Thank you.” After a short pause, I flirted, “I think you’re really hot, too.”
“Too bad I have a small dick,” he joked.
“Good thing I love small dick,” I said.
I’m pretty sure he thought I was kidding, but I was totally serious. However, upon his comment, I knew his cock was huge.
With a seductive look in his eyes, he goes, “You wanna give it a try?”
I excitedly nodded yes.
Without hesitation, I unclipped my seat belt while he unbuckled his belt. He pulled into a big empty gravel parking lot, space for hundreds of cars. He asked how old I was, then proceeded to tell me he was 36.
“Mm,” I moaned, “very young. For my taste, that is.”
He whipped out his cock and it was massive, as I knew it would be. I loved when a man was already hard for me and I didn’t even touch him yet.
“You lied,” I said as a drip of drool fell from my bottom lip.
“I know,” he said as he placed his hand on the back of my head and pushed me face down into his cock.
I went in for a taste and he was rock hard for me but felt so smooth on my tongue. He moaned and said “fuck” everytime he released his breath.
“I’m fucking mind blown at how good you are at this,” he said as I continued to stroke his cock with my mouth and tongue.
Mm, I just absolutely loved giving guys head. I could feel my pussy dripping the second my tongue hit a man’s cock. It drove me fucking wild, as if it activated some sort of primal instinct in me. To me it was an honor to submit to a man sexually. Sometimes, I felt I even enjoyed it more than them.
He made me choke on his cock numerous times, telling me how much he got off from the tightness of my throat wrapped around him. I asked him if he would mind fucking me on my period, to which at first he said he didn’t, but then later said he wanted to fuck me in the ass. He was surprised when I told him I didn’t roll that way and acted as if he was offended.
“I can’t fuck you in your pussy because it would be too messy and my girlfriend would find out,” he said.
I knew that there was a lot of blood, that was true, yet I still seemed to feel very disappointed. I didn’t mind only giving guys blowjobs, but my end goal was always to get fucked. To me, I got off on checking men off my list and making them just another number.
I continued to suck him off extra hard so I could get my reward of his cumshot. His girlfriend began calling him a couple of times as I was slobbering all over his cock, enjoying every minute of him that I had left. I nearly couldn’t breathe from how hard I was choking on his rod.
I loved feeling him build up in my mouth… his thrusts… his hands gripping at my body. I loved feeling the vascular veins and pulsations of him throbbing upon my tongue. I loved feeling like he was just about to explode and as if I had the power to control that from happening.
He kept getting harder and harder until he busted his hot cum down my throat, pushing my head further down into his cock. I swallowed every drop, moaning and wiping his cock clean with my tongue, removing any sign of evidence.
I untied my hair and said, “Mm, you tasted so fucking good.” I clipped my fanny pack around my waist, slipped my shoes back on and said, “Don’t forget to call your girlfriend back,” then hopped out of the car and said, “thanks for the lift,” as I shut the door.
I loved doing what I wanted. I didn’t expect a ‘thank you’ or anything of the sort. I did what I wanted to when I wanted to, and today, I really wanted to suck some strangers’ cocks, so I did. Even better that I got two full loads in my mouth rather than one.
I walked across the parking lot and behind a giant pile of wood chips and cowboy camped beside a pond. He had brought me to the most perfect campsite for the night. I fell asleep to the sound of crickets and rippling sounds of the water. Each time the warm wind blew on me, it smelled of crushed eucalyptus leaves.
A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man shining a bright light on me.
Fuck, I’m too tired to get up and move, I thought to myself.
I felt I was so stealthy, but I guess not. Turned out, he wasn’t upset, but instead brought me white chocolate, crackers and beer.
“Hey,” he whispered, “I brought you some snacks.”
“Wow,” I said, “thank you so much for being so kind and thoughtful. How did you know I was here?”
“There’s cameras all over this bitch,” he said as he began pointing to each one saying, “there’s one, there, there, there,” making a full circle.
I closed my eyes in a feeling sense of hilarity and shame, knowing very well this man and the other workers totally saw me sucking on some stranger’s cock in the middle of the parking lot. They probably assumed I was a prostitute.
I tried defending what dignity I had left by saying, “Yeah, I’m just a hiker girl, just wanted a spot to crash out for the night.”
I kept communicating that I was a traveler, not a prostitute, but all I could really do at the end was laugh at the situation I found myself in. He went on his merry way and gave me a heads up that workers would be coming through very early in the morning just so I wouldn’t be startled by their appearance.
Last night, I dreamt that I was hitchhiking with a guy whom I slept with that was one of my dad’s employees. I remember feeling shame that my dad would find out the way I was and want nothing to do with me anymore. I arrived to my hometown with a big black teddy bear that I carried with me on the road. The guy and I had a very hard time finding my childhood home. It felt we were walking around in circles.
I kept saying, “I swear it was just here. I remember.”
We kept making different turns and taking side paths I thought I knew would lead us there, but eventually, I just stood outside and became still. My childhood friend appeared in my vision and she quickly helped me find it.
“Look!” she said as she pointed to the window and shouted, “my mom is standing with your dad!”
We both yelled for them and I ran up towards my dad without hesitation. Immediately, I sat in his lap, hugging him so deeply. I didn’t want to let go. Just the scent of him smelled like home, specifically that of my old house. I started crying as his pheromones brought me back to a vision of my childhood of me laying in bed with my parents. It was early in the morning and they were drinking black coffee as we listened to the cars drive by. They let me try some sips of their coffee, curious of why they felt they needed such a magic potion every morning to get out of bed. I remembered hating it, wondering to myself if that was what it meant to be an adult, to drink things that tasted sharp and bitter.
Then, I was brought back to all of the ways my family took care of me and helped me along this journey and how much they loved on me. Through my dad’s scent, I remembered the safety and protection he brought into our lives. I began crying, feeling so grateful to be home and to be in his arms. I felt so grateful he was alive and physically there in that moment with me. I felt in full appreciation of him and awoke to myself crying.
I packed my stuff and started walking toward the coast in the dark, following the sound of the crashing waves. I was drawn to the water meeting the sand. Just the same as Hawaii, the Oregon coast invoked deep feelings of peace, making me feel seen and felt in a way that no human has ever brought out of me.
I came across the area that I had camped near last year and felt a sense of sadness arise. The memories of my past were recalled through energy based feelings and that day last year felt very heavy on my heart. I held the little girl inside of me, reminding her that there was no need to feel so troubled. I could just take in the feeling of the waves and give it all up to God, letting him wash away the pain, thus allowing my mind to be cleansed.
The sky was a deep red as I walked through the wet brushes… the sound of the waves grew louder in rhythm. Over the hill, I welcomed the sun to rise with me. I ran down towards the wet sand as I made the first footprints upon the shoreline. I twirled around in a circle, feeling as if I was the only one walking through the entirety of the wide open Oregon coast.
How blessed was I to be able to experience the sweet ocean mist that kissed my face and mused its way into my heart. All worries of money, sex, sorrows had vanished and all that was left was the sound of my breath patterned with the crashing waves and steady peace in my heart. I felt I could hike the Oregon coast up and down for the rest of my life if I had to. I would be honored to cherish the land beneath my feet through each mindful step.
Close to the shore I discovered a teepee, so I sat inside the middle of it and took a breath. Shortly after, I watched as a man and his dog walked onto the beach to play. God, how much I loved and appreciated people—talking to people, smiling at people, laughing with people—something I seemed to forget I had the option and freedom to experience when I was with Voodoo on the east coast.
Voodoo. It seemed there were days when there was so much healing to be done and I could barely pick myself up and find light in my situation. Other days, I was able to quickly recognize that I was making something out of nothing and that I had the choice to drop the weight of the thoughts, allowing them to instantaneously dissolve into the lightness of Truth.
Nature was the place I came to heal and to better understand. I looked at a photo of Voodoo and all of a sudden I understood the pain I had brought into my own heart. I wasn’t saying he was to blame, in fact, quite the opposite. I knew that everyone had the best intentions for me in the best way they knew how to supply that. But, it was up to me to take full responsibility, because he had clearly shown me the way he wanted to relate from the very beginning and I energetically kept saying ‘yes’ over and over again even though it was a big ‘no’.
I was so deeply wounding my own heart by consciously recognizing my worth, yet sticking around to energetically punch myself in the face over and over again just to feel something after being so numb with him for so long. Self-hatred is what it was. I didn’t feel worthy of the thought that I could have, and even deserved a man who was in alignment with me, not only sexually, but also with my heart, spiritually and emotionally. I heard Vadim’s voice whisper to me, “You foolish, foolish girl.” He would always say that to me in such a loving way, not berating me, but instead recognizing my silliness and pointing it out.
Once I got to the end of the beach, I came across a rock face wall that led back to the road. I felt inspired to go to a coffee shop, so I decided to hitch a ride. A lovely young man pulled over and asked where I was going.
“Anywhere you’re going is fine,” I said, “I just want to go to a café and grab some coffee.”
“Perfect,” he said, “hop in!”
His name was Jason. He was tall, blonde, light-skinned and muscular. Guess I had been having a thing for blondes this summer. When we started talking about the trail I was on, it turned out his ex was an avid thru-hiker and had hiked the same trails as me! I told him to give her my info in case she wanted to hike with me. Then I told him I felt inspired to hitch north up along the coast for the day.
He asked where my end goal was and I said, “Astoria!”
I loved how I didn’t actually plan it throughout the day, the answers would just slip out of my mouth and then I would be like oh yes, that sounds nice! Also funny, because he said that Astoria was where his ex was moving.
I found I was physically attracted to Jason and wanted to visit him again before I hitched out. He seemed like he would have a nice cock, I could just tell. So, we exchanged information and said we would meet up again.
So, I met up with Oliver who hosted me back last year in Philomath. He met up with me at the coast and took me out for breakfast. The energy felt different with him this year in comparison to last year.
I could tell he read my blog just by a comment he made at one point saying, “Has someone been a bad girl? Does someone need a spanking?”
I just remember disassociating after that. I felt so angry at myself for not speaking up and letting him know that the comment made me very uncomfortable. Instead, we continued to hangout and I acted like everything was fine. I was starting to recognize that pattern within myself very clearly. Why was I acting like I was okay in moments when I really wasn’t? Was it some sort of protection response?
We went to the harbor to look at the sea lions and to watch one of the workers catching crabs using a net. I learned that the female crabs had to go back into the ocean because they were not allowed to be caught and needed to be used for reproduction.
Jason reached out shortly after and invited me out on a short walk with his dog and said he could pick me up in the afternoon while he was on his work break. I was all in! So, he picked me up, then drove us to Mike Miller Park. The walk ended up being oh, so beautiful! I saw a snake slithering around so I petted it for a bit. It stood still as it let me touch it and appreciate its beauty.
Then, we came across a side path that led to a swampy pond with lily pads. I felt I was being lifted with joy, as if I just wanted to embrace all of the trees with a hug. Oo, I felt so happy! I loved being in the Oregon forest again with the moss covered trees along with such an easily paved path—no roots or rocks. I promised to never take the west coast trails for granted ever again.
The walk went by way too fast, so I said, “Awe, can we at least go visit the ocean?”
He smiled and said, “Yes!”
He took me to a spot where I had walked through a couple years back. I had to restrain myself from picking up every rock that I came across, except for one because it looked like a shiny purple piece of coral. I took photos of seaweed and waves as I spoke of my passion for romance.
He asked, “So, would you say it would be romantic if I kissed you right now?”
“Mm, it would most definitely be romantic,” I flirted.
I got a birds eye view of us standing in the sand, between the hills and the waves. He pulled me in close as the ocean mist sprinkled upon our fair skin and he slowly brought his lips toward mine. As our tongues dipped into each others world, he let out a gentle sigh of gratitude, then pulled me in closer.
I tuned into the rough feeling of his beard upon my cheeks and appreciated the essence of his masculinity. He began groping my hips with confidence and I joined him by slipping my hand over his crotch, feeling the temptation of his heated cock luring me in. We pulled away, catching our breaths as I wiped the corners of my mouth. I was all giggles for receiving such a gift.
We walked back to his car and he kissed me against the door, then some more when we sat inside. I dreamt of tasting his seed and getting a chance to play with him.
He drove me up the road and parked his car in someone’s driveway, then said, “These are all peoples’ second homes,” implying that there would be no one there.
He unzipped my shirt to feel me up and told me I had amazing tits, then playfully went in for a nibble. He came back up to meet my lips and shared his tongue. He was a really good kisser, very in tune and in the flow of what I desired, guiding me with his dominance.
I unbuckled his belt with one hand, then went to unbotton his jeans with the other.
I pulled away momentarily as I smiled and asked, “May I?”
He nodded his head and said, “Oh yeah.”
I unzipped his jeans and pulled him out with my needy hand. Another perfect sized cock. How was I getting so lucky?
Without hesitation, I put him in my mouth and felt his pre-cum leaking out onto my tongue, a LOT! He grew solid in my mouth instantaneously. He moaned and thrusted his hips over and over again, fucking my mouth with his cock.
“Fuck that feels so good,” he would say.
He grew extremely rock hard and told me he was going to cum.
I thought to myself, No, not yet!
I wanted to feel his cock in my mouth for much much longer, but he suddenly unloaded. I quickly shifted to excitement when I felt how much cum he had saved up for me. It was a mouthful and I got to swallow every drop. I wished I could have had more. I wished I could have felt his cock penetrating me. My pussy was leaking with juice. I wanted him more than ever now.
He was out of breath as he tilted his head back and said, “I didn’t expect anything like this to happen today.” He released a grunt of pure pleasure and said, “You give epic blowjobs.”
I loved the way the Universe just brought me these virile men into my field, right beneath my feet, without any doing of my own. It was as if I could feel them coming just around the corner and I just expected them to show.
Later, he expressed how badly he wanted to fuck me, but didn’t know if I would find it weird since I was menstruating. I told him I would not have cared and that it actually feels much better. Now in a state of regret, he said he would come visit me or take me in any time I needed a place to stay, even buying me a plane ticket to spend the weekend with him. That was where I found the financial part attractive—when men took care of the logistics and provided me with an experience.
I asked him to drop me off right outside the neighborhood and then I got a hitch by a man who reminded me of a 50 year old frat guy just by the way he spoke. I hitched as I walked and a white van quickly swerved off the road onto a dirt patch, causing clouds of dust to rise and surround the vehicle.
Please don’t be a creepy dude, I sarcastically joked with myself.
A young woman hopped out of the drivers seat and opened up the back. There was a big mattress with rock climbing equipment on it and she began to move everything around to make room for me.
“Hey, my name is Katrina!” she said, “I can take you a little bit up the road.”
She was so bubbly and inviting! I was actually surprised to see she had a baby in her car, because in my experience, most people would not pick up a hitchhiker if they had their kids with them. As she started driving, I told her I was going to Astoria, but that however far she was going was perfectly fine for me.
She says, “I’ll just take you all the way to Astoria.”
“But it’s about three hours away,” I said.
“It’s all good,” she reassured, “I live out of my van, so I don’t mind cruising my way up and down the coast.”
I was speechless. I had never had such ease with hitchhiking as I did this current year. It felt effortless and it was funny because I really wanted to take my time. It was as if when I truly did not care how or even if I would get there, people would happen to pick me up sooner and would go super long distances.
After she dropped me off, I gave her pretty much all of the food that people had bought/gifted me. I figured she would need it much more than me and I trusted that I would run into others who would feel inspired to feed me.
I walked along the coast again, soaking in the rest of the energy for the time being. My initial reason for hitching all the way out to the west was to go hike the Timberline Trail. I figured I would have a couple of days to explore the coast and then a few days to hike before I went to PCT Trail Days. I really wanted to go to all of the Trail Days this year since it didn’t unfold last year. However, I did the math and figured it would be nearly impossible to make all of that happen. I had gotten so caught up on the coastal waves and Jason’s cock that I forgot I had to hitch inland this morning to make it on time. So, I let it go and found a small trail to hike, instead.
I walked a few miles as the sun was beginning to set, but then thought to myself, Fuck it, I want to hitch to the Timberline Trail.
I figured I could hike the trail in two days, versus three. It would be doable if I hitched out right then and there. That way, I could at least make it a couple hours down the road, leaving only an hour to hitch the following morning.
I climbed up and over a guardrail to the 101, then hitched in a terrible spot where cars were going super fast and had zero room to pull over. I felt I did much stupider shit during my moon cycle. I seemed to experience a more ‘salty’ personality and acted out in more sporadic and irrational ways.
Two young guys in a work vehicle stopped to pick me up. I tried rushing to hop in and they assured me I didn’t have to because their truck was so big that the cars behind them either had to stop or would crash into them. They were on their way home to relax after working all day.
They told me they would drive me a little ways. During the drive, they began slamming beers one after another. There were multiple times when I told them I could hop off at the next pull-out, but they kept insisting me not worry about it and that they would take me further to help me along my journey.
They ended up driving a good hour and a half, nearly at the edge of the city. By that time, they got so drunk, they began slurring their words, telling me how I had beautiful eyes and admitting how they found me cute. Their expressions grew more sultry, but I didn’t feel scared.
However, I did feel a sense of fear arise when they began to play loud music and one of them turned around and said, “Here’s a song I know you’ll appreciate.”
The song was “Ain’t Nothin’ Free.”
Both of them would turn around, making eye contact with me as they loudly sang, “If you wanna come along with me, ain’t nothing in the world for free! If I can’t smoke and I can’t poke it, better get my V8 stroking. No ass, no gas, no grass, no ride!”
That was the only time I felt a truly cringing moment. The driver then proceeded to invite me to Idaho to stay at his parents home, assuring me they would host me for however long I needed and would probably try to adopt me as their daughter. He said it was close to the Sawtooths and that we could all go adventuring together. I would’ve been down if he didn’t have the intentions of fucking me. I wasn’t into the sloppy drunk vibe in men; it was an automatic ‘no’ for me.
They dropped me off at an intersection and I continued to hitch. By that time, the sun was a deep orange hue. I was in a really solid spot to camp near the on-ramp, yet the inspiration guided me to continue hitchhiking.
I got a ride by a guy who drove me to a town just barely outside of Portland. He dropped me off and told me that this was where all the prostitutes hung out. I saw a bunch of them walking around, barely wearing clothes. Girls walked out of the motel rooms wearing tight pink and red dresses, barefoot with their high heels hanging off their fingers. Their hair wild and their bodies were wearing thin. He saw the look of distraught on my face as my body simultaneously tensed up. He asked if I wanted a ride a little further up.
“I would really appreciate that,” I said.
So, he took me to the next exit where a few young guys picked me up from there. They were on their way to drink by the river and invited me, but I said no, so they took me just outside of Gresham.
There, I continued to hitch, which at that point it was already around 8:30pm and the sky was completely dark. As I was walking on the sidewalk, a man approached me and excitedly opened his arms as if coming in for a hug, then quickly recognized I was someone else, but still went in for a hug. I laughed and hugged him back, then hitched right under a stoplight, figuring there might be a little bit more light for people to see me.
A big, black lifted pick up truck pulled over and a man rolled down the window to ask where I was going. Fuck, he was so hot—dark features, full sleeve tattoos, super fit, 5 o’clock shadow and a deep voice that I was always a sucker for.
“I’m just trying to find a spot to camp for the night that’s away from people,” I said.
He let me hop in and said he would offer me a spot at his house, but that his girlfriend wouldn’t feel comfortable with it.
I bantered, “I swear I’m a normal chick,” to ease any perception he had of me being a prostitute or a drug addict.
“I know,” he said, “that’s the problem. My girlfriend wouldn’t feel comfortable with me bringing a hot hiker girl home.”
I blushed and said, “Thank you.” After a short pause, I flirted, “I think you’re really hot, too.”
“Too bad I have a small dick,” he joked.
“Good thing I love small dick,” I said.
I’m pretty sure he thought I was kidding, but I was totally serious. However, upon his comment, I knew his cock was huge.
With a seductive look in his eyes, he goes, “You wanna give it a try?”
I excitedly nodded yes.
Without hesitation, I unclipped my seat belt while he unbuckled his belt. He pulled into a big empty gravel parking lot, space for hundreds of cars. He asked how old I was, then proceeded to tell me he was 36.
“Mm,” I moaned, “very young. For my taste, that is.”
He whipped out his cock and it was massive, as I knew it would be. I loved when a man was already hard for me and I didn’t even touch him yet.
“You lied,” I said as a drip of drool fell from my bottom lip.
“I know,” he said as he placed his hand on the back of my head and pushed me face down into his cock.
I went in for a taste and he was rock hard for me but felt so smooth on my tongue. He moaned and said “fuck” everytime he released his breath.
“I’m fucking mind blown at how good you are at this,” he said as I continued to stroke his cock with my mouth and tongue.
Mm, I just absolutely loved giving guys head. I could feel my pussy dripping the second my tongue hit a man’s cock. It drove me fucking wild, as if it activated some sort of primal instinct in me. To me it was an honor to submit to a man sexually. Sometimes, I felt I even enjoyed it more than them.
He made me choke on his cock numerous times, telling me how much he got off from the tightness of my throat wrapped around him. I asked him if he would mind fucking me on my period, to which at first he said he didn’t, but then later said he wanted to fuck me in the ass. He was surprised when I told him I didn’t roll that way and acted as if he was offended.
“I can’t fuck you in your pussy because it would be too messy and my girlfriend would find out,” he said.
I knew that there was a lot of blood, that was true, yet I still seemed to feel very disappointed. I didn’t mind only giving guys blowjobs, but my end goal was always to get fucked. To me, I got off on checking men off my list and making them just another number.
I continued to suck him off extra hard so I could get my reward of his cumshot. His girlfriend began calling him a couple of times as I was slobbering all over his cock, enjoying every minute of him that I had left. I nearly couldn’t breathe from how hard I was choking on his rod.
I loved feeling him build up in my mouth… his thrusts… his hands gripping at my body. I loved feeling the vascular veins and pulsations of him throbbing upon my tongue. I loved feeling like he was just about to explode and as if I had the power to control that from happening.
He kept getting harder and harder until he busted his hot cum down my throat, pushing my head further down into his cock. I swallowed every drop, moaning and wiping his cock clean with my tongue, removing any sign of evidence.
I untied my hair and said, “Mm, you tasted so fucking good.” I clipped my fanny pack around my waist, slipped my shoes back on and said, “Don’t forget to call your girlfriend back,” then hopped out of the car and said, “thanks for the lift,” as I shut the door.
I loved doing what I wanted. I didn’t expect a ‘thank you’ or anything of the sort. I did what I wanted to when I wanted to, and today, I really wanted to suck some strangers’ cocks, so I did. Even better that I got two full loads in my mouth rather than one.
I walked across the parking lot and behind a giant pile of wood chips and cowboy camped beside a pond. He had brought me to the most perfect campsite for the night. I fell asleep to the sound of crickets and rippling sounds of the water. Each time the warm wind blew on me, it smelled of crushed eucalyptus leaves.
A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man shining a bright light on me.
Fuck, I’m too tired to get up and move, I thought to myself.
I felt I was so stealthy, but I guess not. Turned out, he wasn’t upset, but instead brought me white chocolate, crackers and beer.
“Hey,” he whispered, “I brought you some snacks.”
“Wow,” I said, “thank you so much for being so kind and thoughtful. How did you know I was here?”
“There’s cameras all over this bitch,” he said as he began pointing to each one saying, “there’s one, there, there, there,” making a full circle.
I closed my eyes in a feeling sense of hilarity and shame, knowing very well this man and the other workers totally saw me sucking on some stranger’s cock in the middle of the parking lot. They probably assumed I was a prostitute.
I tried defending what dignity I had left by saying, “Yeah, I’m just a hiker girl, just wanted a spot to crash out for the night.”
I kept communicating that I was a traveler, not a prostitute, but all I could really do at the end was laugh at the situation I found myself in. He went on his merry way and gave me a heads up that workers would be coming through very early in the morning just so I wouldn’t be startled by their appearance.
4
