January 3-4 2024, Geraldine to Crooked Spur Hut:
Yesterday we had a zero day. This morning I fell while attempting to put my pants on. We went out for breakfast and I was feeling very dramatic and standoffish. The apparent effects of my moon cycle seemed to bring about intense nausea and negative thinking. I bought myself a raspberry white chocolate scone, thinking to myself it was the only good thing I had going for my life at that moment. Then Orange and Lenses asked to try some and ate almost half of it so I went to cry in the bathroom. It reminded me of why I wasn’t around people during the time of my month because I didn’t feel as if I contributed anything important when I was in that state of mind.
Lenses wrote postcards all day while I spent most of my day in the library. I laid down on the floor in the kids section and wrote for hours—my idea of fun. Afterwards, I went window shopping that turned into actual shopping when I came across a yarn store. They had high quality macramé rope in stock and I had to momentarily calm myself as to not buy a bunch of rope. Still, I bought four spools.
An older lady in front of me overheard me talking about the trail and asked what I would be using the rope for and how I would carry it in my pack to which I said I didn’t know and that I haven’t thought that far ahead. I told her I normally made dresses, then Orange chimed in and began hyping up my work. I always had a difficult time when it came to advertising my business.
They asked if I would be passing through Christchurch to which I said most definitely, so they offered to hold onto the ropes for me while I continued backpacking. I was so beyond excited at the thought of it!
“In that case,” I said, “I’m gonna buy a bunch more!”
And so I did. I bought hundreds of dollars worth of rope and handed it over to the lady who put it in her bag. She went on about how I could trust her to keep my stuff safe and I brushed it off and said, “You don’t have to explain yourself. I can feel you.”
We had a shuttle planned for the morning to get to the other side of the river crossing, however the guy who was going to drive us wasn’t responding to his messages or phone calls. Since we didn’t know what was going on and almost two hours had passed, we decided to hitchhike, assuming he just didn’t want to take us anymore.
Upon getting our first hitch, the shuttle driver called us to apologize and explained that his neighbor’s bulls got into a big fight and broke through a concrete trough so he was in the process of helping him out with that. He said he was still willing to take us. We were already throwing our packs in the trunk, so we told him it was all good and that we would prefer to hitchhike. We expressed there were no hard feelings, that we had heaps of time and were up for an adventure!
The guys drove us a few miles outside of town so we could get a more direct route. We were left beside a pretty busy highway with cars not having much room to pull over, let alone slow down and see us.
Next thing we knew, a van pulled into the grass beside us and the driver said, “Get in, I’ll take ya there and I won’t charge you guys.”
It was the shuttle driver. We were so stoked because we didn’t see it coming at all. He was such a lovely guy and easy to get along with. I would’ve been more attentive during the drive, however I fell asleep within a couple of minutes. I got woken up about 45 minutes later.
“Was I borin’ you?” the driver asked me.
“No,” I said, “I always seem to fall asleep in cars.”
He gave us a personal tour of some wild goats then dropped us off at the trailhead. He was so sweet and kind. We appreciated that he came back around to help us.
We started walking through a dried out stream bed then eventually caught up with where the water was flowing. We took a break and ate Subway sandwiches that we had packed out. Bliss upon bliss.
We had some steep climbs on our way up to the hut and we called it early since we didn’t seem to have the energy to walk to the next one that was several miles further. I read several pages of my book then set up my bed. There was a spider on the wall that scared me so Orange and I named him Henry and politely asked him not to disturb me overnight.
I fell asleep for a couple of hours and woke up to Orange saying, “Goldie, I made ya some food.”
I opened my eyes to a blurry image of a croissant dripping with butter, sliced open with a heaping amount of bacon and cheese. It was the most delicious croissant sandwich I had ever ate in my life. It was above and beyond. He made one for Lenses, too, then made us another separate meal to eat.
We enjoyed how raw and antique the hut appeared. It was coming apart at the seams but I loved its eeriness.
“It energetically reminds me of where I took Ayahuasca in Peru,” I said.
“Ya ever think you’ll do it again?” Orange asked.
“I’m open to it,” I said, “I feel like I would only do it if something really drastic in my life happened and I was really struggling to see my way through it.” I took a bite of the noodles he made and pondered. “I’m honestly surprised I didn’t do anything drastic after everything that apparently happened with Voodoo this summer. Instead, I just cried it out and felt through it. At this point in my life I feel like I have a lot of tools in my box to use when I’m going through something like that.”
I gave a ‘thank you’ in my mind to Hope Johnson and ACIM for being two of those major tools.
Lenses was in the background doing her stretches as she normally did. She was very limber and would often get into wild positions for the best stretch. I felt a miracle occur when I firsthand felt and witnessed that Orange basically didn’t give a shit nor gave any attention to her. I was so used to being around men that would go completely stupid around even the sight of another attractive woman, let alone doing stretches in their general vicinity. It brought a sense of relaxation knowing that men like that were available to me.
At the end of the night I went to join Lenses in brushing my teeth and was struck by the view of the quickly shifting clouds. The sun was behind us, yet the mountains in front of us had striking rays of light shining behind it.
“How can that be?” she asked.
“It’s God,” I said.
She stood in silence for a couple of minutes as we watched all the different ways the clouds danced around us, forming hearts and streaks of various colors, shades of smoky green turning to a golden yellow. The rays of light grew stronger and more defined. She continued to use ‘logic,’ attempting to figure out how it could be.
“Maybe there’s a lake there and it’s reflect—“
I placed my hand gently on her shoulder. “It’s God,” I said.
Yesterday we had a zero day. This morning I fell while attempting to put my pants on. We went out for breakfast and I was feeling very dramatic and standoffish. The apparent effects of my moon cycle seemed to bring about intense nausea and negative thinking. I bought myself a raspberry white chocolate scone, thinking to myself it was the only good thing I had going for my life at that moment. Then Orange and Lenses asked to try some and ate almost half of it so I went to cry in the bathroom. It reminded me of why I wasn’t around people during the time of my month because I didn’t feel as if I contributed anything important when I was in that state of mind.
Lenses wrote postcards all day while I spent most of my day in the library. I laid down on the floor in the kids section and wrote for hours—my idea of fun. Afterwards, I went window shopping that turned into actual shopping when I came across a yarn store. They had high quality macramé rope in stock and I had to momentarily calm myself as to not buy a bunch of rope. Still, I bought four spools.
An older lady in front of me overheard me talking about the trail and asked what I would be using the rope for and how I would carry it in my pack to which I said I didn’t know and that I haven’t thought that far ahead. I told her I normally made dresses, then Orange chimed in and began hyping up my work. I always had a difficult time when it came to advertising my business.
They asked if I would be passing through Christchurch to which I said most definitely, so they offered to hold onto the ropes for me while I continued backpacking. I was so beyond excited at the thought of it!
“In that case,” I said, “I’m gonna buy a bunch more!”
And so I did. I bought hundreds of dollars worth of rope and handed it over to the lady who put it in her bag. She went on about how I could trust her to keep my stuff safe and I brushed it off and said, “You don’t have to explain yourself. I can feel you.”
We had a shuttle planned for the morning to get to the other side of the river crossing, however the guy who was going to drive us wasn’t responding to his messages or phone calls. Since we didn’t know what was going on and almost two hours had passed, we decided to hitchhike, assuming he just didn’t want to take us anymore.
Upon getting our first hitch, the shuttle driver called us to apologize and explained that his neighbor’s bulls got into a big fight and broke through a concrete trough so he was in the process of helping him out with that. He said he was still willing to take us. We were already throwing our packs in the trunk, so we told him it was all good and that we would prefer to hitchhike. We expressed there were no hard feelings, that we had heaps of time and were up for an adventure!
The guys drove us a few miles outside of town so we could get a more direct route. We were left beside a pretty busy highway with cars not having much room to pull over, let alone slow down and see us.
Next thing we knew, a van pulled into the grass beside us and the driver said, “Get in, I’ll take ya there and I won’t charge you guys.”
It was the shuttle driver. We were so stoked because we didn’t see it coming at all. He was such a lovely guy and easy to get along with. I would’ve been more attentive during the drive, however I fell asleep within a couple of minutes. I got woken up about 45 minutes later.
“Was I borin’ you?” the driver asked me.
“No,” I said, “I always seem to fall asleep in cars.”
He gave us a personal tour of some wild goats then dropped us off at the trailhead. He was so sweet and kind. We appreciated that he came back around to help us.
We started walking through a dried out stream bed then eventually caught up with where the water was flowing. We took a break and ate Subway sandwiches that we had packed out. Bliss upon bliss.
We had some steep climbs on our way up to the hut and we called it early since we didn’t seem to have the energy to walk to the next one that was several miles further. I read several pages of my book then set up my bed. There was a spider on the wall that scared me so Orange and I named him Henry and politely asked him not to disturb me overnight.
I fell asleep for a couple of hours and woke up to Orange saying, “Goldie, I made ya some food.”
I opened my eyes to a blurry image of a croissant dripping with butter, sliced open with a heaping amount of bacon and cheese. It was the most delicious croissant sandwich I had ever ate in my life. It was above and beyond. He made one for Lenses, too, then made us another separate meal to eat.
We enjoyed how raw and antique the hut appeared. It was coming apart at the seams but I loved its eeriness.
“It energetically reminds me of where I took Ayahuasca in Peru,” I said.
“Ya ever think you’ll do it again?” Orange asked.
“I’m open to it,” I said, “I feel like I would only do it if something really drastic in my life happened and I was really struggling to see my way through it.” I took a bite of the noodles he made and pondered. “I’m honestly surprised I didn’t do anything drastic after everything that apparently happened with Voodoo this summer. Instead, I just cried it out and felt through it. At this point in my life I feel like I have a lot of tools in my box to use when I’m going through something like that.”
I gave a ‘thank you’ in my mind to Hope Johnson and ACIM for being two of those major tools.
Lenses was in the background doing her stretches as she normally did. She was very limber and would often get into wild positions for the best stretch. I felt a miracle occur when I firsthand felt and witnessed that Orange basically didn’t give a shit nor gave any attention to her. I was so used to being around men that would go completely stupid around even the sight of another attractive woman, let alone doing stretches in their general vicinity. It brought a sense of relaxation knowing that men like that were available to me.
At the end of the night I went to join Lenses in brushing my teeth and was struck by the view of the quickly shifting clouds. The sun was behind us, yet the mountains in front of us had striking rays of light shining behind it.
“How can that be?” she asked.
“It’s God,” I said.
She stood in silence for a couple of minutes as we watched all the different ways the clouds danced around us, forming hearts and streaks of various colors, shades of smoky green turning to a golden yellow. The rays of light grew stronger and more defined. She continued to use ‘logic,’ attempting to figure out how it could be.
“Maybe there’s a lake there and it’s reflect—“
I placed my hand gently on her shoulder. “It’s God,” I said.
