January 5 2024, Crooked Spur Hut to Stone Hut:
Henry didn’t bother me overnight so I thanked him. In the morning I found myself growing triggered by Orange. I felt I was being made fun of for not wanting to push on with him in the rain. I had looked outside earlier and didn’t really feel like hiking. The more pressure that was placed on me for the way I chose to hike would just turn me off even more. We were pretty different in the regard of what we enjoyed on trail, but at least I gave him the freedom to do as he pleased. I didn’t mind if we separated for I knew we would meet up eventually.
I suggested he go alone, but last second I decided to tag along out of guilt. I wasn’t having it. I was feeling really emotional and uneasy, painstakingly wanting to be alone. The section was beautiful and the rain wasn’t too bad, if anything it was closer to mist. There were lots of tussocks which were very easy to step and trip on.
For some reason I had dark memories of my childhood come up which sent me into a bit of an emotional panic. I silently began to cry and hyperventilate, turning my body away from Orange. It was interesting to find how there was no distance between being a young child to a grown adult. The memories and traumatic events we carried in our minds were stored there until we found a way to look through them with grace and forgiveness. The images passing through could appear scary yet they were only that—pictures and stories.
We got to the hut and Orange quickly gathered firewood to make us a warm fire. About twenty minutes later, a couple showed up heading the opposite direction. They were soaking wet from rain and river crossings and were having conflicted feelings as to whether they should stay or go. She said her heart wanted to stay but felt like she needed to head out because her friends were meeting her at the trailhead tomorrow at a specific time. We suggested she shoot them a message on Orange’s Garmin letting them know they would be a little late—problem solved.
It was cute because they reminded us so much of the way Orange and I interacted. The girl wanted to be inside a warm hut with a fire while the guy wanted to push bigger miles into the night. They would bicker the same way.
She looked out the window and dramatically yelled, “It’s raining!”
He opened the door and put his hand out. “It’s not even that bad!” he said.
The rest of the conversation was him asking what she wanted to do and her talking about her feelings, intuition and heart. They ended up staying.
At the end of the night she asked me if I would be willing to do an interview. She was gathering videos of people’s journey on trail and what they were learning and experiencing. She offered me the freedom to talk about my business and blog. My first reaction to having an interview done was ‘no,’ but the words that came out of my mouth were “yes.” Funny how that went. I normally said no to video interviews or podcasts since it felt very intimidating for me and not as intimate. Something about the camera being on me when I was fully clothed and trying to be professional seemed nearly impossible for me. Still, I went through with it. I definitely butchered it through stuttering and the inability to look into the camera, let alone the girl behind it.
Henry didn’t bother me overnight so I thanked him. In the morning I found myself growing triggered by Orange. I felt I was being made fun of for not wanting to push on with him in the rain. I had looked outside earlier and didn’t really feel like hiking. The more pressure that was placed on me for the way I chose to hike would just turn me off even more. We were pretty different in the regard of what we enjoyed on trail, but at least I gave him the freedom to do as he pleased. I didn’t mind if we separated for I knew we would meet up eventually.
I suggested he go alone, but last second I decided to tag along out of guilt. I wasn’t having it. I was feeling really emotional and uneasy, painstakingly wanting to be alone. The section was beautiful and the rain wasn’t too bad, if anything it was closer to mist. There were lots of tussocks which were very easy to step and trip on.
For some reason I had dark memories of my childhood come up which sent me into a bit of an emotional panic. I silently began to cry and hyperventilate, turning my body away from Orange. It was interesting to find how there was no distance between being a young child to a grown adult. The memories and traumatic events we carried in our minds were stored there until we found a way to look through them with grace and forgiveness. The images passing through could appear scary yet they were only that—pictures and stories.
We got to the hut and Orange quickly gathered firewood to make us a warm fire. About twenty minutes later, a couple showed up heading the opposite direction. They were soaking wet from rain and river crossings and were having conflicted feelings as to whether they should stay or go. She said her heart wanted to stay but felt like she needed to head out because her friends were meeting her at the trailhead tomorrow at a specific time. We suggested she shoot them a message on Orange’s Garmin letting them know they would be a little late—problem solved.
It was cute because they reminded us so much of the way Orange and I interacted. The girl wanted to be inside a warm hut with a fire while the guy wanted to push bigger miles into the night. They would bicker the same way.
She looked out the window and dramatically yelled, “It’s raining!”
He opened the door and put his hand out. “It’s not even that bad!” he said.
The rest of the conversation was him asking what she wanted to do and her talking about her feelings, intuition and heart. They ended up staying.
At the end of the night she asked me if I would be willing to do an interview. She was gathering videos of people’s journey on trail and what they were learning and experiencing. She offered me the freedom to talk about my business and blog. My first reaction to having an interview done was ‘no,’ but the words that came out of my mouth were “yes.” Funny how that went. I normally said no to video interviews or podcasts since it felt very intimidating for me and not as intimate. Something about the camera being on me when I was fully clothed and trying to be professional seemed nearly impossible for me. Still, I went through with it. I definitely butchered it through stuttering and the inability to look into the camera, let alone the girl behind it.
