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(X-rated) January 29 2024, Lower Princhester Hut to Aparima Hut:
Lenses and I left camp early, getting absolutely stunned as we stood in the midst of a big silvery glistening moss forest. Magical and mystical as the morning dew was being reflected by the sun, steam rising off the leaves. Perfectly intricate spiderwebs coated the branches of trees and wide open ferns towered over us. We had a very slow go for a couple of hours due to us taking in the beauty that was being offered.
As we walked, she ripped out a bright purple mushie from the ground.
“Lenses, what the fuck?” I said, surprised at the fact she would murder an innocent fungi.
“Is okay,” she said, “he will come again.”
Kasper quickly caught up to us and said, “I don’t know vat zese nobos ah talking about. Ze mud is not zat bad, maybe zay ah just exaggerating because is they first stretch on TA.”
I was quiet for a second then said, “I was told the real bad stuff was after Birchwood.”
I often wouldn’t talk shit about trail conditions because I’ve done that before and next thing I knew I would turn the corner and it’s a bunch of bullshit. I’ve been humbled one too many times, so I reminded myself not to speak too soon. Come to find out, a few steps later we were shin deep in mud.
Lenses and I took a breakfast break before we entered the exposed meadow of tussocks. I sat on my pack and Lenses pointed out the way the steam rose off my back.
“Quite literally the definition of a smoke show,” I joked.
I asked Lenses how her and Ben were doing. She goes, “We haven’t had sex.”
“No, that’s not what I’m asking,” I said, “I’m asking how you two are doing.”
I mean, of course I was curious about the sex stuff, for I was always the girl who wanted to know every single detail about everything, but Lenses didn’t roll that way. I also knew the other side of what it was like to be pressured/expected to have sex as a woman, otherwise men would lose interest. Deep down I knew it was a bunch of bull crap, nothing other than the way most of us were conditioned.
I felt as if I was in 6th grade because I was acting as the middle man between them both, collecting information then offering individual advice. As usual, when it came to relationships, and now a language barrier between two people, there came to be conflict and misunderstandings.
It seemed they had different intentions. Ben just wanted to have a hook up trail fling and it was understood that Lenses did, too. Initially she did, however now she was nervous because she hadn’t had sex in a while. She had grown used to it not being a priority in her life.
They had been doing everything except that and to her kissing and cuddling felt much more romantic and intimate than the physical act of sex. That was true for me as well. I reminded her that there was no pressure and to simply communicate her feelings to him.
After that, I told her I had a crush on Kasper, and by crush I mean I just wanted to have sex with him.
“I’ll probably traumatize him, though,” I said.
“Yeah, don’t do it,” she said. “You scare people. You scared Ben, you will definitely scare Kasper.”
“I scared Ben?!” I exclaimed.
“Oh yeah,” she said, “he told me.”
We began trekking again when suddenly Lenses screamed, “AHH!“ then fell into a stream. “AGH!” she screamed again seconds later as she tripped over a tussock, nearly face planting into the mud. Something told me it was going to be a long day.
She had me lead, I’m assuming because I was taller and could be used as a test subject for where all the bogs were. I lost track of how many times I ate shit and stepped waist deep into mud.
Ben caught up to us and Lenses was absolutely stoked to see him. Her face lit up with joy. She had been hoping he would show sooner, often looking for him as if he was about to pop up around the corner. When he finally did, she couldn’t hide her excitement. It was cute to watch the way her voice would fluctuate to a higher pitch and the way her eyes turned glossy.
All the NOBO hikers that passed through today looked absolutely miserable and completely over the section. Their eyes were invoked with dense frustration as they spoke of how challenging the Longwoods were. They were covered in mud, telling us in horror how there was no way to avoid it. Some were talking about quitting, others didn’t want to talk at all.
A couple of them walked up the hill after coming through an exposed swampy area.
“How is the trail from here?” the first guy asked, his eyes defeated.
“Awe, man,” Ben said, “I can’t give you any good news.”
They put their heads down then trudged on. I turned around to look at them as they passed. The second guy was covered in fresh mud from his ass down to his feet.
Naturally, I busted out laughing and said, “Wow, looks like you ate shit, too!”
“No, I didn’t,” he said, “why were you looking at my butt?!”
We start walking and Lenses goes, “Yeah, dis is my first time walking through mud like dis. We don’ have mud like dis in Japan. It will be my first and I tink last time.”
“Yeah,” I agreed, “I’m not a fan of mud. My shoes are fucked.”
“Yes,” she said, “shoes ah expensive. Befo I came out here, I didn’t want to walk through dis stuff because they were brand new. Now, they trash.”
Near the end of the day, anytime Ben wanted to take a break, Lenses did, too. It seemed she wanted to spend more time with him and experience the trail together. Eventually I got the memo that I should push on and give them their space. I told them I would meet them at the hut and from there we could decide whether we would want to push on or not.
They came about an hour after me and we all agreed to stay. I was grateful they wanted to call it because I felt Elvis was going to show up later. In the meantime, we walked down towards the bridge and found a swimming hole to bathe in.
“I can’t wait to see Elvis today,” I said, “I really want to cuddle.”
I smiled and Alex said, “Aweee.”
“I know,” I said, “I have emotions, what a surprise.”
Lenses goes, “I like you and Elvis togetha. He a good match fo you because you both vedy, ehhh, how can I put—strange.”
Ben and I laughed.
“That’s not a compliment nor an insult,” I said.
We came back to the hut and I met a guy who hiked the PCT filling out the logbook, his name being Cinnamon. He ended up pushing on. A kiwi couple showed up and planned to stay in the hut as well. We all talked about how fun it was falling thigh deep in mud and how different of an experience it was in a group versus being solo. We agreed if we were alone we would probably be cursing “fuck” under our breath multiple times or at the very least crying from frustration. Days like today were meant for connecting with people.
There happened to be another hut across from the new one. It was older and was more-so to be used for overflow. I went to check it out and vibed with it way more so decided to move my stuff over just in case Elvis were to come by. That way we could get freaky in our own separate hut without having to tone ourselves down. I hoped he would wake me up to something erotic, like his cock in my face.
Ben helped bring my stuff over then gave me an update on Lenses and how she wanted them to be exclusive, even offering him the key to her house in Japan. I couldn’t believe it.
Ben and I were both a bit frustrated that she wasn’t putting out, but then I took a step back and said, “You know, I think she’s the normal one here. It shows a sign of maturity that she’s waiting before she gives her body to you. She has self control. I think we’re the fucked up ones in this scenario.”
He began to explain how he liked so many things about her, that he hasn’t met a woman like her and how they shared the same core values, however long distance dating was out of the picture for him.
“Maybe it’s not so crazy,” I said. “If you feel like you’ve never come across a woman like her then maybe it would be best to take a chance. At least you can say you tried.”
I went to bed then woke up to Elvis creaking the hut door open and with his cute European accent he said, “Hello, vat are you doing in here?”
I stretched my arms open and moaned in excitement. He walked to my bedside and stood over me. I pulled him in close as he toppled over on me, laughing. I breathed him in.
He was going to continue on several more miles but after I hugged him he decided not to.
“Okay okay, I sleep here,” he said, “let me get my bag.”
He changed into his base layers then hopped into my bunk. The space was tight so we had to cram together. In an extremely sexy voice he perfectly said my given name. “Goda,” then “Godučka,” which translated to “my little Goda.”
“Your two friends are like lovebirds in there,” he said. “I walked in on zem hugging and holding each other tight. They ver inseparable. It vas super cute.”
I was so happy to have him holding me tight again. We fell asleep together but as soon as the sun set my pussy began to pulsate. I could tell he was really tired and wasn’t thinking much about sex, but I on the other hand couldn’t fall asleep until after I got a taste of him. I mean, who knew when I would see him again?
I began fingering myself while simultaneously rubbing myself on his leg, releasing needy moans. I quickly felt him growing hard and throbbing on my inner thigh. That always drove me crazy. It signaled to me I was being invited to come have a taste or feel.
I began jerking him off while he began fingering me, him letting out moans and grunts as I squirmed helplessly beneath his fingers. Fuck, he was good. I nearly needed to tell my body to slow down the buildup.
I was about to go down on him but he stopped me from doing so and instead had me sit on him so I could ride his hardened cock. I fingered my clit as I centered my attention on his face. Then, I had him fuck me doggy style, his cock feeling just perfect for me in that position.
I bent over and took him all the way in, naturally cumming all over his cock as he continued to thrust. I pushed my ass into him when he told me he was about to bust, begging him with my gesture to fill me up. He didn’t allow for it. Instead, I sucked him off until he came in my mouth—my dose of melatonin for the night.
As we were laying in bed together, nearly asleep, he told me how he wrote about me and changed my name to Lada in his book. I found it beautiful to be written about, no matter what was said, whether it appeared to be good or bad. I didn’t ask. To me it was art to find what came through the mind of an artist and their interpretation of our paths crossing, just like mine for my book. Something told me we would be writing about each other in totally different ways and I couldn’t help but wonder and appreciate the beauty behind it.
Suddenly, he moved to a different bed to get better sleep since the mattresses were barely big enough for one person. It wasn’t an issue and very understandable, yet my mind went down a thought pattern convincing me I was unloved and unwanted. I laid in the fetal position and felt through the feeling sense of abandonment. I knew it was irrational but I couldn’t deny the way I felt. I closed my eyes and whispered sweet words of love to myself as I attempted to dismiss the racing thoughts of judgment.
Why did I act like this?
As if I didn’t want emotional connection but the only true thing I wanted was honest love and true connection.
Why was it so hard for me to allow that for myself?
Why was it so hard to ask for it?
Did true love entail for me to ask or should it just be a given?
I felt grateful for the connection Elvis and I shared, regardless of it being fleeting. If it meant I got to feel a momentary sense of happiness and joy, that was the greatest gift to a woman like me. To make it last was another story.