February 6-7 2024, Invercargill to Te Araroa Southern Terminus (Bluff):
Yesterday we took a zero day due to rain.
“Yeah,” Lenses said, “I don’t want to hike to Bluff in rain.”
“Well, we can just stay here and watch movies all day,” I suggested.
“Yeah,” Ben agreed, “we can just say we hiked to Bluff in Spirit.”
We got some rest, then the following morning Orange Man slackpacked us again. It was the big day, heading straight for the finish line! Ben was officially parting ways with us. He planned to hitch to Te Anau while Lenses and I would push on for the last stretch.
We saw dead fish, mushrooms three times the size of Lenses’s hand, cows that stood knee deep in water and black swans that crowded the vicinity. We had beautiful boardwalks beside the water and it was all very easy going—flat and to the point. I wasn’t sure why I took my trekking poles the last few days when I didn’t necessarily need them, guess they made me feel like more of a hiker.
When we got to the road it smelled like actual shit in the air, Orange did tell us we would be walking past a literal poop factory—great way to finish the trail. The rest of the way to Bluff was a road walk with a small climb near the very end. It kind of blew. The traffic was so loud that even listening to music or a podcast didn’t help to shut out the noise.
I saw a cardboard sign in the trees that read: When the truth comes out you can’t just unvax your children.
Amen.
Suddenly, a car pulled over in front of us. Lenses turned around to look at me.
I lifted my hands up questionably and said, “I didn’t hitchhike.” Just as we were about to greet the person, I said, “But hey, if he asks if we want a ride, you wanna let him drive us for 2-3 miles max?”
She nodded her head and said, “Yes.”
It was an older gentleman, turned out he had dropped his wife off at the terminus whom had just started hiking the TA. He was also an unintentional trail Angel, giving us pop, chocolate biscuits and a bottle of wine for us to celebrate. He made a comment expressing he wanted to go back to the store because he felt bad he didn’t have enough trail magic to hand out to other hikers. Bless those who were pure of heart.
He offered us a ride up the road. Lenses and I looked at each other and I said, “Just a few miles would be great,” I said, “this road walk isn’t so enjoyable.”
We drove past his wife who had already met another NOBO hiker. He honked at them and we all waved hello. He drove us much more than a few miles. Lenses and I started laughing, knowing that Orange Man was tracking her GPS and would see that we suddenly got 10 miles ahead in a matter of a few minutes.
Right before the bridge we spotted the group of hikers we met yesterday along the beach walk, so we asked to get dropped off right there. Ron from Birchwood was there, too. We hopped out of the car, stoked to see them. Lenses and I were laughing at our naughty behavior, however they didn’t seem too pleased to see us. If anything, they appeared annoyed that we skipped and made sure to give us a hard time for hitchhiking.
“Well, we didn’t technically hitchhike,” I said, making light of the situation.
One of the girls in the group started yelling, “Shame! Shame on you! I will take your photo to let everyone know you cheated!”
I posed with Lenses and smiled for the picture. She kept making jabs at us for ‘cheating’ and I just let her have it because it seemed it made her feel better in some way.
We took a sharp turn off the road to start our climb up the last hill, meandering again through open cliffs beside the oceanside. We leapfrogged with the group that was still acting standoffish towards us, but didn’t give it too much hold over us. We saw a goat family playing beside the rocky shoreline and enjoyed the last bit of mud we would come into contact with, knowing we would be missing it somewhere along our journey in the future.
We entered a tunnel of trees again, receiving momentary comfort of shade. I went to pee before we entered the exposed section again. Lenses had to go really bad herself, so I told her I would keep an eye out for people. She stood just off the trail and started to squat down.
“Is there anyone coming?” she asked.
“No you’re good,” I said, “wait stop! Yes! Someone’s coming!”
We let them pass, then I walked Lenses to another spot just ten feet ahead.
“Okay, now go,” I said.
She squatted and again asked, “Is anyone coming?”
“No you’re good,” I confirmed.
She peed for about three seconds before I started to see another person appear and then another and then a whole group coming up behind them. They came in so fast and that all I could do was panic.
“Stop! Stop! Someone’s coming!” I whisper yelled as I formed a wide starfish pose to block her from view.
“Really?!” she asked as she tried her best to cut off her stream. “I can’t stop,” she said as she struggled to get her pants over her ass.
Ron suddenly approached us as she barely had her butt covered. She blushed and put her hand over her forehead, ceasing to make eye contact with him. We busted out laughing like little girls who were unable to control ourselves.
“What is so funny?” he asked.
“Oh, nothing,” I said, “there was an accident.”
He stood there for a while, studying us to try and understand where the humor was. Eventually he walked away, assuming we might have been laughing at him. Then, she turned around and showed me how she peed all over herself because she couldn’t stop her stream. It had soaked into her pants, ran down her leg and into her shoe.
“You’re good,” I said, “it just looks like you sat in something wet.”
It was such an accurate way to finish the TA—piss covered and dirty, but most importantly, laughing through it!
So, just as we were walking up to the summit of Bluff Mountain, we were surprised to find Orange Man taking over the whole parking lot with trail magic. He had pizza, snacks, beer and pop for all of the thru-hikers and passerby’s! I actually felt it coming, especially since he told us to let him know when we were close to the summit so he could make his way there. Plus, he had a very generous nature about him so it was inevitable he would share celebration gifts with us for our last day on trail.
He suddenly pulled out a separate pizza box from his car. He opened it up and it was my own personal pesto pizza that he had to get from an entirely different company because the first one wouldn’t make it.
“They said it was a first for someone orderin’ pesto pepperoni pizza,” he said, “they gave me a hard time about it. I just told them it was for my girlfriend.”
“Oh my god,” I said, “it’s not that weird guys.”
We all sat in a circle and he looked at me and said, “I’ve been tryin’ to trail magic you for a while.”
“Why?” Ron asked, “is she famous?”
I shook my head ‘no,’ knowing it was just in Orange Man’s nature to give.
“How do you afford doing this?” Ron asked.
“Well,” Orange started, “I don’ have a house or anythin’ I need to worry ‘bout in that regards, so I would ratha spend my money on this.”
I knew he was dipping into all of his savings just to do this for hikers. He had expressed to me in the past that he didn’t have that much money, but his heart was called to provide for the hikers and so he followed the calling. The thing was, I did see Orange as everyone else did, as a really good, solid guy. It wasn’t like I was blind to it, although sometimes I wish I was. I felt it would be easier that way, otherwise I wouldn’t have to wonder if I lost out on something great.
The girl who shamed Lenses and I was sitting next to me. She started making more jabs/comments about us apparently cheating, seemingly unable to let it go.
“You didn’t hike the trail because you drove through the road walks and have been slackpacking the last few days,” she said.
It felt as if we were getting shit for having fun and not taking every step so seriously. We were being met with seriousness rather than high fives and laughter. It reminded me of the die hard purists in America. I felt an energy of annoyance just being in her presence. I even caught my eye twitching at one point.
“Yeah,” I said, “to me, I came to hike mountains and be on a trail in the woods, not walking on the side of a busy road. So I don’t really mind skipping some of those sections.”
“Yeah, it was a really shitty road walk,” one of the guys said.
“Yeah, I’m not always a purist, although sometimes I am,” I said, “for me it’s most important to have fun and do what I feel rather than what other people expect me to do.”
After some silence, I told Orange I decided I would be going to Stewart Island—might as well since I had time and he claimed it was the best part of NZ.
“Sweet as,” he said, “I’ll come, too.”
“You really want to come with me?” I asked.
“Yeah!” he said, “that is if ya want me to.”
I couldn’t believe it. I was surprised he wanted to come with me after the way things had unfolded, but maybe we just needed some space to let things simmer down. I was glad he wanted to join. Initially, we had planned to go as a tramily group, but Lenses and Ben backed out. I felt it needed to be that way anyways so I could spend some quality time with him, just the way we had in the rural solidarity of the Richmond Ranges.
It was time to get going so we could finish our last mile of the TA! I grabbed some chocolate then headed down the mountain with Lenses. Orange said he would meet us down there.
“I’m so happy you and Orange Man will be hiking togetha again,” Lenses said. “I tink it will be good fo you.”
She asked me about Elvis and if we had been in contact and I said no, but that he had been messaging Ben a lot very consistently. We all felt he might be interested in him.
“I can’t really be mad,” I said, “I guess I just like knowing stuff. At this point in my life, when I meet a guy I just want to tell him, ‘Hey, I think you’re hot and I want to bang, but I’m also into your friend right over there,’ so I would like the same reciprocity.”
The idea of him being interested in Ben was just an assumption, but regardless if he was or not, I still had a kick ass time with him.
Then, Lenses brought up how she was attracted to Elvis and felt he would have been a much better fit for her. They expressed their attraction in a similar way, with an energy that was more subtle and not so clingy, whereas Ben and I appeared to be more in need of sexual pleasure and outward attention.
“You with Ben, me with Elvis,” Lenses said.
We joked about trading and sharing men and I said, “Go for it, girl! I would share with you!”
I was grateful she helped me turn the situation into something light. I couldn’t blame myself for getting a little bit attached to him.
It was like Lenses said, “He must have had good technique if he was able to give you orgasms.”
“You’re telling me,” I said. “I came in four minutes.”
“Fo minutes?!”
“Yeah I know, it usually takes me 45 minutes on my own.”
“Yes!” she agreed, “women take time and need warm up.”
“I know Lenses, I know. Why do you think I wanted so much sex?”
I looked at her and suddenly felt a Godly moment. I felt a deep sense of gratitude for growing a strong connection with such a beautiful soul. I loved how the trail connected people in ways I never could have imagined on my own. I never thought we would hike together, let alone finish the trail together. I never expected to be reunited with Orange, either, but I was immensely grateful for the plot twist.
Just as I thought about him, he popped out on the trail, surprising us a few hundred feet from the finish line so he could walk there with us. It felt overwhelming approaching the sign and seeing all of the tourists posing underneath it. They could drive right up to it, walk ten feet and take a picture just like that. There were loads of hikers there as well, hanging out and celebrating with champagne. We took a tramily photo and Ben joined us in Spirit.
A guy approached Orange to thank him for the trail magic.
“What’s your name, brother?”
“Orange Man.”
“What’s your real name?” he asked.
“Orange Man,” he said again, this time with more confidence.
I loved being around people that wanted to be silly, playful and joyous. I really loved and appreciated the long distance backpackers who kept the trail culture alive, even though most people in NZ thought it was weird. It took courage to not be afraid to act childlike in a world full of conformists.
We dropped Lenses off at a backpacker hostel in Bluff, then Orange started to drive me back to the trail Angel’s house, however, there was one more thing we had to do. It was something that had been on our bucket list before we started the trail—for him to teach me how to drive a stick shift!
He was actually the one who suggested it. I couldn’t believe he actually trusted me. He found a dirt road close to his job site. There was a trail of pine trees alongside it, letting me know it was exactly where I needed to be and to pay attention.
He parked in a roundabout then gave me a pep talk on what all the gears meant and what things did what. I was so excited and full of energy that I didn’t want to listen. I told him I just wanted to drive. He was so nervous, visibly sweating.
“I can’t believe I’m actually lettin’ ya do this,” he said.
We switched spots and he guided me through the experience. I was sweating myself, seeing how much thinking it required in comparison to driving an automatic. It felt I had to use my entire body, in constant focus of when to shift gears and how to use the clutch. I felt I was being taught how to drive all over again. I messed up a lot in the beginning as I was learning how to feel everything out, however I couldn’t have asked for a better teacher. He was so calm, even when I would slam on the breaks or nearly roll us over into a ditch.
Ever so gently, he would say, “It’s okay. Let’s try again.”
Once I got the hang of it, I couldn’t stop laughing. I felt I was in a daydream riding along the gravel and hanging out with him the way we used to. I felt grateful that we got to start again, or at least that’s how it was for me. I felt I was as pure as a child, as if I was at home in my heart.
“You’ve always reminded me of Jenny from Forrest Gump,” he said.
“Because I always run away when there’s something good right in front of me?” I asked.
I took a deep breath then looked over at him, his face glistening from the setting sun, us cruising through a farm land on a hot summer day. The images moving past us, unsure of where we would end up, but keeping our faith steady on the Truth. I knew I would forever be grateful for this memory and look back on it with deep appreciation. I felt closer to him, more than I ever had on the PCT.
Yesterday we took a zero day due to rain.
“Yeah,” Lenses said, “I don’t want to hike to Bluff in rain.”
“Well, we can just stay here and watch movies all day,” I suggested.
“Yeah,” Ben agreed, “we can just say we hiked to Bluff in Spirit.”
We got some rest, then the following morning Orange Man slackpacked us again. It was the big day, heading straight for the finish line! Ben was officially parting ways with us. He planned to hitch to Te Anau while Lenses and I would push on for the last stretch.
We saw dead fish, mushrooms three times the size of Lenses’s hand, cows that stood knee deep in water and black swans that crowded the vicinity. We had beautiful boardwalks beside the water and it was all very easy going—flat and to the point. I wasn’t sure why I took my trekking poles the last few days when I didn’t necessarily need them, guess they made me feel like more of a hiker.
When we got to the road it smelled like actual shit in the air, Orange did tell us we would be walking past a literal poop factory—great way to finish the trail. The rest of the way to Bluff was a road walk with a small climb near the very end. It kind of blew. The traffic was so loud that even listening to music or a podcast didn’t help to shut out the noise.
I saw a cardboard sign in the trees that read: When the truth comes out you can’t just unvax your children.
Amen.
Suddenly, a car pulled over in front of us. Lenses turned around to look at me.
I lifted my hands up questionably and said, “I didn’t hitchhike.” Just as we were about to greet the person, I said, “But hey, if he asks if we want a ride, you wanna let him drive us for 2-3 miles max?”
She nodded her head and said, “Yes.”
It was an older gentleman, turned out he had dropped his wife off at the terminus whom had just started hiking the TA. He was also an unintentional trail Angel, giving us pop, chocolate biscuits and a bottle of wine for us to celebrate. He made a comment expressing he wanted to go back to the store because he felt bad he didn’t have enough trail magic to hand out to other hikers. Bless those who were pure of heart.
He offered us a ride up the road. Lenses and I looked at each other and I said, “Just a few miles would be great,” I said, “this road walk isn’t so enjoyable.”
We drove past his wife who had already met another NOBO hiker. He honked at them and we all waved hello. He drove us much more than a few miles. Lenses and I started laughing, knowing that Orange Man was tracking her GPS and would see that we suddenly got 10 miles ahead in a matter of a few minutes.
Right before the bridge we spotted the group of hikers we met yesterday along the beach walk, so we asked to get dropped off right there. Ron from Birchwood was there, too. We hopped out of the car, stoked to see them. Lenses and I were laughing at our naughty behavior, however they didn’t seem too pleased to see us. If anything, they appeared annoyed that we skipped and made sure to give us a hard time for hitchhiking.
“Well, we didn’t technically hitchhike,” I said, making light of the situation.
One of the girls in the group started yelling, “Shame! Shame on you! I will take your photo to let everyone know you cheated!”
I posed with Lenses and smiled for the picture. She kept making jabs at us for ‘cheating’ and I just let her have it because it seemed it made her feel better in some way.
We took a sharp turn off the road to start our climb up the last hill, meandering again through open cliffs beside the oceanside. We leapfrogged with the group that was still acting standoffish towards us, but didn’t give it too much hold over us. We saw a goat family playing beside the rocky shoreline and enjoyed the last bit of mud we would come into contact with, knowing we would be missing it somewhere along our journey in the future.
We entered a tunnel of trees again, receiving momentary comfort of shade. I went to pee before we entered the exposed section again. Lenses had to go really bad herself, so I told her I would keep an eye out for people. She stood just off the trail and started to squat down.
“Is there anyone coming?” she asked.
“No you’re good,” I said, “wait stop! Yes! Someone’s coming!”
We let them pass, then I walked Lenses to another spot just ten feet ahead.
“Okay, now go,” I said.
She squatted and again asked, “Is anyone coming?”
“No you’re good,” I confirmed.
She peed for about three seconds before I started to see another person appear and then another and then a whole group coming up behind them. They came in so fast and that all I could do was panic.
“Stop! Stop! Someone’s coming!” I whisper yelled as I formed a wide starfish pose to block her from view.
“Really?!” she asked as she tried her best to cut off her stream. “I can’t stop,” she said as she struggled to get her pants over her ass.
Ron suddenly approached us as she barely had her butt covered. She blushed and put her hand over her forehead, ceasing to make eye contact with him. We busted out laughing like little girls who were unable to control ourselves.
“What is so funny?” he asked.
“Oh, nothing,” I said, “there was an accident.”
He stood there for a while, studying us to try and understand where the humor was. Eventually he walked away, assuming we might have been laughing at him. Then, she turned around and showed me how she peed all over herself because she couldn’t stop her stream. It had soaked into her pants, ran down her leg and into her shoe.
“You’re good,” I said, “it just looks like you sat in something wet.”
It was such an accurate way to finish the TA—piss covered and dirty, but most importantly, laughing through it!
So, just as we were walking up to the summit of Bluff Mountain, we were surprised to find Orange Man taking over the whole parking lot with trail magic. He had pizza, snacks, beer and pop for all of the thru-hikers and passerby’s! I actually felt it coming, especially since he told us to let him know when we were close to the summit so he could make his way there. Plus, he had a very generous nature about him so it was inevitable he would share celebration gifts with us for our last day on trail.
He suddenly pulled out a separate pizza box from his car. He opened it up and it was my own personal pesto pizza that he had to get from an entirely different company because the first one wouldn’t make it.
“They said it was a first for someone orderin’ pesto pepperoni pizza,” he said, “they gave me a hard time about it. I just told them it was for my girlfriend.”
“Oh my god,” I said, “it’s not that weird guys.”
We all sat in a circle and he looked at me and said, “I’ve been tryin’ to trail magic you for a while.”
“Why?” Ron asked, “is she famous?”
I shook my head ‘no,’ knowing it was just in Orange Man’s nature to give.
“How do you afford doing this?” Ron asked.
“Well,” Orange started, “I don’ have a house or anythin’ I need to worry ‘bout in that regards, so I would ratha spend my money on this.”
I knew he was dipping into all of his savings just to do this for hikers. He had expressed to me in the past that he didn’t have that much money, but his heart was called to provide for the hikers and so he followed the calling. The thing was, I did see Orange as everyone else did, as a really good, solid guy. It wasn’t like I was blind to it, although sometimes I wish I was. I felt it would be easier that way, otherwise I wouldn’t have to wonder if I lost out on something great.
The girl who shamed Lenses and I was sitting next to me. She started making more jabs/comments about us apparently cheating, seemingly unable to let it go.
“You didn’t hike the trail because you drove through the road walks and have been slackpacking the last few days,” she said.
It felt as if we were getting shit for having fun and not taking every step so seriously. We were being met with seriousness rather than high fives and laughter. It reminded me of the die hard purists in America. I felt an energy of annoyance just being in her presence. I even caught my eye twitching at one point.
“Yeah,” I said, “to me, I came to hike mountains and be on a trail in the woods, not walking on the side of a busy road. So I don’t really mind skipping some of those sections.”
“Yeah, it was a really shitty road walk,” one of the guys said.
“Yeah, I’m not always a purist, although sometimes I am,” I said, “for me it’s most important to have fun and do what I feel rather than what other people expect me to do.”
After some silence, I told Orange I decided I would be going to Stewart Island—might as well since I had time and he claimed it was the best part of NZ.
“Sweet as,” he said, “I’ll come, too.”
“You really want to come with me?” I asked.
“Yeah!” he said, “that is if ya want me to.”
I couldn’t believe it. I was surprised he wanted to come with me after the way things had unfolded, but maybe we just needed some space to let things simmer down. I was glad he wanted to join. Initially, we had planned to go as a tramily group, but Lenses and Ben backed out. I felt it needed to be that way anyways so I could spend some quality time with him, just the way we had in the rural solidarity of the Richmond Ranges.
It was time to get going so we could finish our last mile of the TA! I grabbed some chocolate then headed down the mountain with Lenses. Orange said he would meet us down there.
“I’m so happy you and Orange Man will be hiking togetha again,” Lenses said. “I tink it will be good fo you.”
She asked me about Elvis and if we had been in contact and I said no, but that he had been messaging Ben a lot very consistently. We all felt he might be interested in him.
“I can’t really be mad,” I said, “I guess I just like knowing stuff. At this point in my life, when I meet a guy I just want to tell him, ‘Hey, I think you’re hot and I want to bang, but I’m also into your friend right over there,’ so I would like the same reciprocity.”
The idea of him being interested in Ben was just an assumption, but regardless if he was or not, I still had a kick ass time with him.
Then, Lenses brought up how she was attracted to Elvis and felt he would have been a much better fit for her. They expressed their attraction in a similar way, with an energy that was more subtle and not so clingy, whereas Ben and I appeared to be more in need of sexual pleasure and outward attention.
“You with Ben, me with Elvis,” Lenses said.
We joked about trading and sharing men and I said, “Go for it, girl! I would share with you!”
I was grateful she helped me turn the situation into something light. I couldn’t blame myself for getting a little bit attached to him.
It was like Lenses said, “He must have had good technique if he was able to give you orgasms.”
“You’re telling me,” I said. “I came in four minutes.”
“Fo minutes?!”
“Yeah I know, it usually takes me 45 minutes on my own.”
“Yes!” she agreed, “women take time and need warm up.”
“I know Lenses, I know. Why do you think I wanted so much sex?”
I looked at her and suddenly felt a Godly moment. I felt a deep sense of gratitude for growing a strong connection with such a beautiful soul. I loved how the trail connected people in ways I never could have imagined on my own. I never thought we would hike together, let alone finish the trail together. I never expected to be reunited with Orange, either, but I was immensely grateful for the plot twist.
Just as I thought about him, he popped out on the trail, surprising us a few hundred feet from the finish line so he could walk there with us. It felt overwhelming approaching the sign and seeing all of the tourists posing underneath it. They could drive right up to it, walk ten feet and take a picture just like that. There were loads of hikers there as well, hanging out and celebrating with champagne. We took a tramily photo and Ben joined us in Spirit.
A guy approached Orange to thank him for the trail magic.
“What’s your name, brother?”
“Orange Man.”
“What’s your real name?” he asked.
“Orange Man,” he said again, this time with more confidence.
I loved being around people that wanted to be silly, playful and joyous. I really loved and appreciated the long distance backpackers who kept the trail culture alive, even though most people in NZ thought it was weird. It took courage to not be afraid to act childlike in a world full of conformists.
We dropped Lenses off at a backpacker hostel in Bluff, then Orange started to drive me back to the trail Angel’s house, however, there was one more thing we had to do. It was something that had been on our bucket list before we started the trail—for him to teach me how to drive a stick shift!
He was actually the one who suggested it. I couldn’t believe he actually trusted me. He found a dirt road close to his job site. There was a trail of pine trees alongside it, letting me know it was exactly where I needed to be and to pay attention.
He parked in a roundabout then gave me a pep talk on what all the gears meant and what things did what. I was so excited and full of energy that I didn’t want to listen. I told him I just wanted to drive. He was so nervous, visibly sweating.
“I can’t believe I’m actually lettin’ ya do this,” he said.
We switched spots and he guided me through the experience. I was sweating myself, seeing how much thinking it required in comparison to driving an automatic. It felt I had to use my entire body, in constant focus of when to shift gears and how to use the clutch. I felt I was being taught how to drive all over again. I messed up a lot in the beginning as I was learning how to feel everything out, however I couldn’t have asked for a better teacher. He was so calm, even when I would slam on the breaks or nearly roll us over into a ditch.
Ever so gently, he would say, “It’s okay. Let’s try again.”
Once I got the hang of it, I couldn’t stop laughing. I felt I was in a daydream riding along the gravel and hanging out with him the way we used to. I felt grateful that we got to start again, or at least that’s how it was for me. I felt I was as pure as a child, as if I was at home in my heart.
“You’ve always reminded me of Jenny from Forrest Gump,” he said.
“Because I always run away when there’s something good right in front of me?” I asked.
I took a deep breath then looked over at him, his face glistening from the setting sun, us cruising through a farm land on a hot summer day. The images moving past us, unsure of where we would end up, but keeping our faith steady on the Truth. I knew I would forever be grateful for this memory and look back on it with deep appreciation. I felt closer to him, more than I ever had on the PCT.