May 31, 2024
Today I had the day off to get my bearings and get settled into the space. I got to meet a young local girl named Mandy who came in and out of the lodge to help with any work they needed. Something about her felt really special. I was very drawn to her energy and character from the get go. She had natural bright copper red hair and pale white skin. She was always smiling and had a go-getter personality, seeming to get work done and keeping everyone else well-supervised.
I love how remote it is here. It is so freaking quiet. No service, not much to do other than explore the trails and sit by the water—dream come true. That is heaven to me. The quieter and the more remote, the better.
So, I kid you not, Voodoo’s doppelgänger is working with me. I did a triple take because I thought it was actually him. Axle caught me looking at him with predatory eyes and I tried snapping out of it but nearly couldn’t.
“Zane is awesome,” Axle said, “he has a very sweet girlfriend that he loves very much.”
I got the message, but I still couldn’t help but ponder. Later, I found out he had a similar bird tattoo as V. I was getting mentally tested, even in several states across the country. I thanked Spirit for the opportunities reminding me to come to my breath. Mistaken in thought, for I momentarily forgot that I carry the past with me wherever I go, no matter how near or how far I distance myself from the person I’m trying to forget about. These thoughts and perceptions, they come in waves and I can be sure more will be coming until I truly recognize it all as meaningless. Deep down, I know I can’t rush the healing process.
I got invited to a softball tournament where all of the locals got together every Friday evening. Seeing as it was around 32° and raining, I couldn’t fathom how people were in T-shirts either standing in the wet cold rain or playing softball like it was a hot summer day, completely unphased by the freezing cold temperatures. I, however, was wearing five layers, shivering cold in my seat, chattering my teeth. A guy named Thatcher, who also worked at the lodge, gave me his shirt to hold, so I put it over my legs for extra warmth while he played in the field. Regardless of the temperature, I still enjoyed showing up. It was very sweet to see how all of the locals put the event together and even made a little cookout, providing burgers and hot dogs for everyone.
I came back to the lodge then went to the EDR, which stood for ‘employee dining room.’ There, my intention was to journal, which did not happen. Immediately, a girl named Botts’ Dots, otherwise known as Dots approached me and started a conversation with me. She was with the other group of hikers, also working here seasonally in the HR department. I could tell she had the same kind of social anxiety as me just by reading her body language. It was also in the way she spoke, followed by her intense eye contact. I really liked her energy because of it, it made her seem very honest in her expression. Dots and the other HR girl, Natasha, plan on starting a writing group here in Glacier Bay for there are at least five of us writers here—including ZigZag, a woman I had met at Standing Bear on the AT.
Lastly, a thru-hiker named Mulch approached me at the table and we talked trail. He didn’t know much about me, other than some trails I’ve hiked and that I was a writer. We played the game of seeing if we knew the same people, going through lists of trail names. A guy named Kent was sitting near us who overheard our conversation, getting a kick out of our community and trail lingos for he knew nothing about that life. He curiously asked what trails we’ve done, then Mulch began speaking highly of me, saying how I was way cooler and more experienced than him due to how much I’ve hiked. I always laughed when hikers said that or brushed off how badass they were themselves. I never liked being put above anyone else in that regard, but hey, I can’t blame them because I was the same way with other thru-hikers who completed their Triple.
All this talk of hiking, and all these mountains surrounding me, made it feel like it was slowly tearing my heart open. The temptation was getting the best of me. Soon I would be on trail again, however in this chapter of my life, patience was being asked of me.
Today I had the day off to get my bearings and get settled into the space. I got to meet a young local girl named Mandy who came in and out of the lodge to help with any work they needed. Something about her felt really special. I was very drawn to her energy and character from the get go. She had natural bright copper red hair and pale white skin. She was always smiling and had a go-getter personality, seeming to get work done and keeping everyone else well-supervised.
I love how remote it is here. It is so freaking quiet. No service, not much to do other than explore the trails and sit by the water—dream come true. That is heaven to me. The quieter and the more remote, the better.
So, I kid you not, Voodoo’s doppelgänger is working with me. I did a triple take because I thought it was actually him. Axle caught me looking at him with predatory eyes and I tried snapping out of it but nearly couldn’t.
“Zane is awesome,” Axle said, “he has a very sweet girlfriend that he loves very much.”
I got the message, but I still couldn’t help but ponder. Later, I found out he had a similar bird tattoo as V. I was getting mentally tested, even in several states across the country. I thanked Spirit for the opportunities reminding me to come to my breath. Mistaken in thought, for I momentarily forgot that I carry the past with me wherever I go, no matter how near or how far I distance myself from the person I’m trying to forget about. These thoughts and perceptions, they come in waves and I can be sure more will be coming until I truly recognize it all as meaningless. Deep down, I know I can’t rush the healing process.
I got invited to a softball tournament where all of the locals got together every Friday evening. Seeing as it was around 32° and raining, I couldn’t fathom how people were in T-shirts either standing in the wet cold rain or playing softball like it was a hot summer day, completely unphased by the freezing cold temperatures. I, however, was wearing five layers, shivering cold in my seat, chattering my teeth. A guy named Thatcher, who also worked at the lodge, gave me his shirt to hold, so I put it over my legs for extra warmth while he played in the field. Regardless of the temperature, I still enjoyed showing up. It was very sweet to see how all of the locals put the event together and even made a little cookout, providing burgers and hot dogs for everyone.
I came back to the lodge then went to the EDR, which stood for ‘employee dining room.’ There, my intention was to journal, which did not happen. Immediately, a girl named Botts’ Dots, otherwise known as Dots approached me and started a conversation with me. She was with the other group of hikers, also working here seasonally in the HR department. I could tell she had the same kind of social anxiety as me just by reading her body language. It was also in the way she spoke, followed by her intense eye contact. I really liked her energy because of it, it made her seem very honest in her expression. Dots and the other HR girl, Natasha, plan on starting a writing group here in Glacier Bay for there are at least five of us writers here—including ZigZag, a woman I had met at Standing Bear on the AT.
Lastly, a thru-hiker named Mulch approached me at the table and we talked trail. He didn’t know much about me, other than some trails I’ve hiked and that I was a writer. We played the game of seeing if we knew the same people, going through lists of trail names. A guy named Kent was sitting near us who overheard our conversation, getting a kick out of our community and trail lingos for he knew nothing about that life. He curiously asked what trails we’ve done, then Mulch began speaking highly of me, saying how I was way cooler and more experienced than him due to how much I’ve hiked. I always laughed when hikers said that or brushed off how badass they were themselves. I never liked being put above anyone else in that regard, but hey, I can’t blame them because I was the same way with other thru-hikers who completed their Triple.
All this talk of hiking, and all these mountains surrounding me, made it feel like it was slowly tearing my heart open. The temptation was getting the best of me. Soon I would be on trail again, however in this chapter of my life, patience was being asked of me.