The owners of Moose Lane drove out this way, specifically to talk to Axle one on one and see if he was truly okay with having them take me. So sweet. I’ve been feeling ready for a new season. I can’t always be living in seduction through being flirty and expressive. I can only do that for so long. Things come and go like seasons. Nothing stays the same other than what’s true.
I let Axle know it was nothing personal that I was leaving, I just really craved more of a non-party atmosphere.
“That’s seasonal work,” he said, “it’s like that everywhere!”
I didn’t believe it, nor did I accept it. I know I can receive what it is I desire. If I can imagine it, it is there. Just gotta tap into it.
Georgina also claimed that I would probably get sick of it in a few weeks just like I did here.
“Nope,” I said, “I can feel I will cherish it.” I worked at White Sheep for years, and I loved waking up and going into work every day. Working there showed me that one could have a loving relationship with their employers and that it was entirely possible to be playful while still getting all the work that apparently needed to be done, done. In the end it’s about staying connected to our brothers and sisters, rather than working our ass off and losing focus of that. First, it’s the love that is being shared, then everything else follows.
Axle was in the office, working on making all the schedules for next week. I know he was just doing his job, but I noticed in that moment how people are so expendable in the corporate work system. They don’t mind when you leave or get fired, they’ll quickly find a replacement.
When I had dinner at Moose Lane the other night, Dubu told Jayson how Summer always says how she wants to work for him until she dies.
Dubu had said, “I’m a firm believer of treating your employees well and making sure they are happy because they’ll never want to leave.”
I completely agreed. As an employee, I notice when I am loved, appreciated, adored, or when I’m just an object to get the company more money at as little of a cost as possible. I felt that energy play the moment I arrived on the property, yet the inspiration was still to stay. I’m glad I played it out because it concretized how much I hated working for big companies.
Juozas was now working the front desk as he was not vibing the kitchen scene. He was over getting yelled at for not getting on his knees to scrub the kitchen floor.
“Ain’t nobody going to do that for $15 an hour,” he said.
However, in his new position, he expressed to me that he had a phobia answering phone calls. He said Americans talked too fast and he couldn’t pick up on what they were saying. So, he would just let the phone ring as his forehead would start sweating.
“Dude, you’re gonna get fired,” I said, laughing at him.
I spent some time with Paramour today. She knew I was always trying to get laid so she mentioned there were a couple of new guys here for a few days. They were construction workers that were flown in from Denali to do some work on the lodge. Their names were Leo and Martin. She told them how a bunch of people were leaving. When she mentioned my name, Leo asked who I was.
She goes, “Oh, she’s the super hot sexy one. You’ll know when you see her.”
“I’ll introduce you guys,” she said to me as she took a hit of her cigarette. I’d probably find him before she got the chance. Best part, Paramour said I can use her room to fuck guys anytime I please. What a friend.
Then she confessed that she has been feeling extremely horny, however it was difficult for her to just fuck guys and not get some sort of attachment to them.
“I wish I could just fuck guys and not think about it like you do,” she said, “but I will often develop an emotional connection.”
“It sounds like you’re a very healthy person,” I said. “It’s a good quality to have, to be able to feel things for people in that way. What I do, when I leave and run away after I have sex, it’s just a defense mechanism so as not to get hurt. It really was never something meant to be praised.”
I ran into Russ on my way to the EDR. I shook my head, judging him in my mind. He automatically knew it was because of the other night when he had woken all of us up.
“Finally, you come out!” I teased.
“I haven’t been drinking for a few days and have been hiding out in my room,” he said then put his head down as if embarrassed and not wanting to be seen. “You probably heard the rumors,” he said.
“Actually I haven’t, just heard you got into a fight.” I tried to change the topic as I could tell he seemed sensitive. “I’m going to have to behave like a nun at Moose Lane,” I said. “I heard it was run by Mormons.”
“Oh God.”
“I can do it,” I whispered to myself. “It is possible.”
“Who are you trying to convince? You or me?”
“Me,” I said.
“The guys told me to go knock on your door while you were getting fucked by Mason,” he said, unbeknownst what was happening at the time. “Then you guys opened the door and they gave Mason shit because he was only in the room for three minutes.”
I met Juozas at the EDR and sat down in front of him. I propped my leg up on the arm of my chair, spreading my legs open slightly. He placed his foot on the seat rim of my chair, directly in front of my pussy and raised his eyebrows flirtatiously.
“You’re so smiley and giddy,” Juozas said. “You falling in love with me?”
He was only a centimeter away from touching my clit. “No, I just missed you.” It was killing me and he knew it.
“You say you miss me, what is it you missed about me?” he asked while teasingly tapping his foot in the air, as if fanning the heat coming off of me.
“Mm, I just like spending time with you,” I said.
Today was Dax’s birthday so we celebrated with alcohol and a cake his friends had made. Earlier, Paramour and I joked about giving him a lap dance. Apparently Vance had overheard our comment, so when we were all at the table eating his birthday cake, he goes, “Freyja has a birthday present for you, Dax.”
“Oh, my God!” I shouted, my eyes widening and my face turning beet red. “I’m going to do that later, Vance!” Everyone at the table shifted uncomfortably and went totally silent, though their eyes were wide as they took a bite of their cake. I realized what that must’ve sounded like, so I added, “AND, Paramour was going to do it with me!”
Then Vance clarified he was referring to a lap dance. Dax quickly looked up at Georgina, hope in his eyes. I felt like doing an Irish goodbye, but Vance kept cornering me in. Eventually, I escaped to my room while everyone else went to the bonfire get together. I laid down in bed, covered myself in my bulky blanket and cuddled my stuffie to sleep.
Georgina came back from the bonfire and blurted, “Vance really pissed me off today! He just called you a nymphomaniac in front of everyone!”
I looked at the time: 11:17 pm. I’ve been seeing that number multiple times a day the past week.
“Were there a lot of people?” I mumbled.
“Yeah, most everyone was there.”
I liked that he called me a nymph—it helped bring the guys who wanted to fuck straight over to me.
Prior to falling asleep, I became very teary-eyed, moments away from crying. I felt that intensity of feeling horny come up. I was so tired, but I still found myself sexting numerous guys telling them how I needed them to fill me. I moved around restlessly then checked the time again: 1:17 am. I was losing my mind. My pussy was throbbing. I couldn’t stop playing out memories of blow jobs/my pussy getting stuffed, and fantasizing about the next guy.
Vance came into our room, drunk, all just to whisper in my ear that he spoke to the construction guy.
“He is totally down to fuck you,” he said.
I was stoked, but it didn’t help me sleep. He left, and I was left awake for a couple more hours trying to turn off the thoughts. I almost went looking for Leo, but I wouldn’t even know where to find him at this time. He was probably in his bed, the easiest spot I could seduce him. Too bad I didn’t know his room number. I hugged my stuffie harder and pulled my knees closer into my chest—no distance between the big girl body I found myself in now and the little girl in my heart asking to be loved.
Finally, I fell asleep. I dreamt of every guy I could think of, specifically from the lodge. I dreamt of Sheldon spitting in my mouth, Kaden stalking me in a grocery store, giving Dax a sneaky blow job along with numerous other scenarios. My favorite was actually Juozas, having dreamt about him coming off aggressive and dominant towards me. He made it a ritual every morning to come into my room without my permission and wake me up by cumming on my face. That’s all he would give me. And I was happy with it. He even let me lick the head of his cock as he was cumming. Then, he would just leave. My pussy would be fully dilated from the feeling and taste of his seed on my tongue, slipping its spell down my throat.