I woke up in the morning, having had another cumshot dream about Juozas—loved it. Today was my last day working at the lodge. Kaden was serving breakfast.
He came outside and I flirted, “You gonna serve me?”
He kept walking, as if annoyed I would even ask that. “Pffft, that’s YOUR job.” He turned around. “Today’s your last day?”
I took a bite of my french toast. “Uh-huh.”
“Did you accomplish everything you wanted to at Glacier Bay?”
I shook my head no, understanding he was asking if I fucked everyone I wanted to fuck.
“No?” he asked. “Who you missing?”
“You,” I said.
I really wanted Kaden. His cock would make me do that uncontrollable orgasm face.
“Are you telling the truth?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said as I grabbed a piece of bacon. “I like when you question me.” He really should.
He opened the door then said, “I’m bringing the napkins downstairs—RIGHT NOW.”
Ope. That was my cue. The way he demanded it in his tone had me standing up without hesitation. I finished chewing my bacon then wiped my fingers and went straight downstairs. I searched for him, letting his slight absence toy with my emotions. He showed up a few seconds later, then looked around the area and decided it wasn’t good enough. I truly love the way he paid attention. I never had to think, instead I would just be led.
He guided me to the warehouse that was right beside the retail department. We tucked ourselves in the back with only a few shelves blocking us. He packed some boxes to cover it up some more but not entirely. He whipped out his cock and intrusively placed it in my mouth. Honestly, I wasn’t in the mood when I was upstairs eating breakfast, only in the beginning stages of waking up, but Kaden knew how to put me in the mood. I looked over to my left and saw how the very action of me sucking his cock was not at all covered by any box.
“Hurry up,” he demanded, “I have a table upstairs.”
I was choking and gagging on him pretty hard. Somehow he felt bigger each time.
“Use both hands,” he said as he motioned the way he liked it stroked. “You’re gonna take my cum down your throat.”
I nodded as I continued to suck. He came fast. With Kaden, it was always straight to the point. He gave me a lot of cum that time, maybe it’s because he felt I was deserving of it. I had a little leftover on the left corner of my mouth. When I came upstairs, Juozas saw the motion of me wiping it off and smiling.
He smiled. “Who?”
“The tall one,” I said, my eyes accented with fleeting joy as I looked over at Kaden.
Juozas shook his head.
I was feeling pretty overworked and tired today. Thursday and Friday were both technically my off days. I figured I could work those days to help out my crew and get paid overtime. Turned out, I wasn’t getting paid overtime since I quit. I don’t know what that had to do with it, but I just felt sort of annoyed. I also felt frustration arise because the past month I worked there, the group would collect tips, even having made over $100 the other day. Axle told me I would get a cut, but I was leaving and figured it was a fleeting hope. I knew it wouldn’t even be that much since it would be divided by everyone, but it seemed nice to have thought I could receive some since it has been slow with my business the past couple of months. I guess the trigger showed me where I still held the idea that money was something important, even necessary.
It was a super busy day, I felt drained. The laundry kept piling up. Near the last couple of hours, I threw two heaping piles of hot sheets onto the table, plopped my face into it and bawled my eyes out. I felt I hit my breaking point. The rest of the day, I felt really edgy. I didn’t want to talk to anyone and everyone who did kind of pissed me off.
After work, I thought I’d be giving the ole Irish goodbye to everyone, but that didn’t happen. I went to pack, then I saw Juozas. I asked him to please stay by my side because I could tell the Denali guy was trying to talk to me. His presence didn’t help.
Leo still approached me and said, “I was waiting for you.”
Knowing 100% he was just trying to stay in touch, I made the conversation short and sweet. I told him I had stuff to do and pretended not to know what he was getting at. I walked over to ask Jenna if she could get ahold of Applesauce so she could unlock Axle’s room for me to get my mannequin. Leo came back and tried shooting his shot again. I let him know I was in the middle of something. I really wished men wouldn’t linger around after we had sex and would just recognize it for what it was. It would be hotter than trying to keep it going. I hate text flirting for months or even years with no substance other than to be horny for a few minutes.
Dubu was waiting for me so I decided I would pick up my stuff on a different day. Juozas and I started walking in his direction when Leo looped in again, making a beeline towards me.
“For fucks sake,” Juozas said, “just give him your number.”
So, I did. I said my goodbyes to Juozas and left with Dubu, waving goodbye to Brown Town.
I could tell Dubu seemed off today. I had felt triggered all day by something he had written to me over text. It had to do with him offering me a coffee when he came to pick me up. I thanked him and said I only liked drinking coffee before 3 pm, but that I would love some in the morning. He said, “I’ll wake you up with it, hot and steamy!” I didn’t find it funny at all. It actually felt like a jab. I knew this pattern all too well—men who came off as super nice and generous, then slowly comments like that would begin trickling in, then more and more pushy kine things. Juozas told me I did the right thing by ignoring the message. He got the hint, now it was up to me to distance myself and tone myself down. I hated that sentence. I hated to feel I had to be different than I was. I was so stubborn, not wanting to change myself just to adhere to someone else’s inability to be respectful. I’m having a hard time with it still, it seems.
Dubu took me back to his place and ordered us two large pizzas from Mama Bear Kitchen, a restaurant owned and run by Polish people. As we ate, we talked about boundaries and misperceptions of texts, then he brought up the one he sent me, unsure as to if I received it or not.
“Yeah, I saw it!” I said. Topic was dropped.
Throughout the night, we shared some deep talks about life. I really opened up to him about my apparent struggle with sexuality and he seemed concerned for me. I reassured him it wasn’t serious like that.
“I mean, you do give off a very sexual energy,” he said, “and it makes men feel a certain type of way and probably want to act out a certain way.”
Before I went to bed, he handed me a letter he wrote me. It was about hiking, being a traveler and wandering around crevices of Mother Earth in search of myself. He spoke of our friendship, in appreciation for those unknown turns that life seemed to take us on in order for us to meet the way we did. He gave me the name ‘Ix Chel’—a name for the Mayan Goddess of the moon, female cycles, weaving, and the mystery and joy for female sexuality.
I found the letter heartfelt and sweet, but I also noticed the subtle energy shift occurring between Dubu and I. Each time I meet him again, the way he looks at me shifts slightly. There is a sense he is falling for me. Even Georgina had mentioned that it seems he is trying to relive his youth through me in some way. Only time will tell and only patience will reveal.
