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July 1-2, 2024:

Today we turned over and cleaned every single room after the group had left. There were only about 14 to 16 rooms so the job was easy, or should I say just enough. I preferred working here way more than Glacier Bay even though it required much more physical work. The repetitive movements in the aesthetic darkness of the rooms felt relaxing to my mind. The scent of the cleaning products we used reminded me of the oil paints I worked with in art class as a little girl. I still didn’t enjoy inhaling chemicals, however, it is way better than bleach. Mallory taught us to pay attention to the details of the room, from scrubbing behind toilets to removing dust particles with a lint roller off the bedding. I often thought about doing this work as if I were doing it for Jesus which inspired me to want to try my absolute best.

The biggest difference I found between Glacier and Moose Lane was that Glacier appeared ‘fast fast fast’ and ‘go go go’. They focused more on quantity rather than quality. And with a lot of movement and energy came employees and guests that were not being treated as attentively. Mallory and Jayson really seemed to form an authentic, intimate connection with all of their guests. They were genuinely excited to share in conversation and make people feel as welcome as possible.

The chefs have been feeding us amazingly here, too. Arbor is the main chef, Ollie is the su chef. We have been getting fed steaks, sandwiches, pasta and Rosa’s high end desserts if there happened to be any left over. I have been shamelessly gobbling everything down. We eat altogether at the large table, usually in complete silence. From what I’ve gathered about the personality types here, I noticed it would be best to keep my mouth shut about who I am. I have been much more discreet about my life and by discreet I mean I don’t tell anyone jack shit about anything. Everyone here is either Mormon or Christian, the type of religious folk that would cringe at the mere use of a curse word.

I called Olivija during my break and expressed to her some fears I had. Although I love this job and appreciate owning my own business, the past few months have been rocky. I desire to travel and hike more trails out of the country which requires more money that I do not seem to have. I’m not getting paid much in either regard and I’m feeling tired of working only to watch the money disappear in a matter of a few moments. My teeth hurt again and I can’t afford a root canal which seems to be occurring nearly every year now. It overwhelms me to have to pay around 3k for one root canal, not including the rest of the procedures. Cavities are getting to be nearly $500 which adds up fast when I throw in x-rays and check-ups. So instead, I deal with the intensity in my teeth along with stories of wanting to blame my family for passing on shitty genetics.

Rosa came upstairs after her shift and told me Ollie was into me. She was very adamant about trying to hook us up.

“He has tattoos, too,” she said, “he’s a very nice guy and he’s single!”

And what a coincidence, so was I.

“He’s not my type and I don’t want a boyfriend,” I said.

“No pressure, just flirt with him to spice things up,” she said, “it gets boring here, we need some action!”

“Oh, I’m very flirty,” I said. That’s the dangerous part about me, especially if I pull out my moves. I’m not going to do that if I’m not attracted to the dude, though. Especially if I have to see him every day.

After my couple hour break, they put me on the night shift to work as the dishwasher.

Ay, back to square one doing my first ever job.

Crazy to see where life will take you. One day, business is great and flowing smoothly, next day, I’m a dishwasher again. Didn’t feel depressing like it might sound, but more so how we say in Hawaii, “If can, can. If no can, no can.” It was part of my personality to roll with the punches.

Jasmine came to help during the rush because I had zero idea as to what I was doing and I was the only one scheduled. It was only my second day and I didn’t know where things went nor what it meant to close for the night. Although washing dishes was easy and a task I enjoyed, I wasn’t used to doing it super fast like how they wanted it done in restaurants. I was used to cleaning mindfully as a meditation practice, so when Thomas showed me how it was done by slamming everything around loudly and getting sprayed by water/leftover food, I realized I was going to have to disassociate.

Then a funny thing happened during dinner service. Armor came up to me all frazzled. He opened up his palm to reveal what looked like a steamed brussel sprout.

“Freyja, do you know what this is?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Bok choy,” he said.

Then, he began to give me an exact description of where to find it in the dry storage, but the directions were difficult to follow.

He would say, “You’re going to take exactly two steps into the room, then a sharp left. At about a 38° angle, there will be a box. Behind that box will be another box…”

It took him about 30 seconds to explain it. I lost track after the second direction. I walked outside and immediately turned right which apparently was the wrong way.

“Freyja,” he said in a disappointed undertone, as if to tell me “come on, work with me.” He continued, “Do you know where the dry storage is?”

“No, no one showed me,” I said, “I don’t know where most anything is.”

“Oh, my apologies, then.”

When things slowed, Ollie expressed he really enjoyed my company, constantly telling me he liked me which to me meant he wanted to bang me. He went in for hugs numerous times a day, saying how happy he was to have me here. I guess I did have some sort of energy. It’s just weird to me how I don’t feel as if I’m giving off any sexual vibe because I’m not attracted to the person, so why are people taking it as if I’m interested in them? Is it the way I walk? Or the way I smile? Because I’ll tell ya, I sure don’t feel sexy with a covered up uniform and a slicked back ponytail revealing my fivehead.

“How is this place not completely booked out?” I asked Ollie.

“Beats me. If I owned this place, I would run it completely differently,” he said.

“How so?”

“I would make it a party place. I would get all the billionaires to come out here because it’s about the money. And, I would let everyone do whatever they want, whenever.”

I disagreed. I was so grateful this place was being run the way it was—like a sanctuary. I even liked that they didn’t play music in the lobby, making it feel more like a family home.

Jasmine showed me how to close. I was a very visual hands-on learner so I picked it up fast. Jayson even showed me how to make a rose using the emerald green dining napkins. This is what I mean by when a place is more quality rather than quantity oriented, it will be reflected through putting energy into blessing things up with love through small details.

After the tables left, Jasmine gave me a mop and bucket, then said, “Here you go, Freyja.”

I looked at it, then whispered, “Hey, uh, how do you use this thing?”

Arbor overheard and goes, “How old are you?”

So humbling. I don’t know man, I’m used to Cinderland living and backpacking so a mop wasn’t ever really needed in my experience. I never had to ‘close’ for a place I worked for, nor did we use mops in my household. We laughed it off, she showed me how to use it and I had a kick ass time!

After my shift, I hung out in the lobby. Jayson sat down by me and we got to talking about personality charts. There were different categories, one of them being people pleasers.

“I feel you are a melancholic,” he said, “just by seeing how you don’t wear any flashy colors and you’re currently all the way in a corner, writing a book.” He spoke of another personality trait which he considered being the hardest to read. “It is the personality trait where people are like chameleons,” he said, “they can change appearances depending what setting they are in which makes it incredibly hard to read their true colors.”

That’s me, I thought to myself.

My spirit animal was an octopus for a reason. I can disguise myself and fit into wherever I need to go. I especially play out adaptation when it comes to hitchhiking. I am also very analytical, although I don’t look the part. I’m good at gathering information, reading the vibe of the room and adapting depending on what is being shown to me. At Glacier Bay, I could tell I could get away with my sexual expression. Here, I can get away with none of that. I really appreciate this position I received and I don’t want my past, especially my recent past, to affect that in any way. So far, Jayson has no idea about me, nor does anyone else for that matter. I plan to keep it that way the rest of my time here.