I woke up to a breakfast buffet Larry had made me. There was a daily prayer book on the table that I picked up and read while I finished up my coffee. He had a solid hiker box where I collected more food and swapped out some gear then he dropped me off in Inyokern.
There, I hitched on the on-ramp towards Bishop. There was a guy who drove by 3 times. I think he was trying to scope out my vibe before he picked me up. Eventually he rolled down his window and I told him I was trying to head to Bishop.
“I could take you to Lone Pine,” he said, “I just want to change out of my church clothing first.”
“All good,” I said.
We went back to his place, changed, then were on our way. He bought me some Subway which I ate in his car. It was if it were gold touching my lips. He seemed to really want to talk to me about his ex. I didn’t blame him. I knew how it was to be head over heels for someone you knew was no good for you.
“I don’t want to say the ‘s’ word but that’s what she is,” he said. “I can’t help but love her, anyways.”
He ended up giving me a ride all the way to Bishop then dropped me off at the hostel I had stayed in during the PCT. It was called The Hostel California, THC for short. Initially, I figured I would just say hi and walk around to reminisce then continue hitching north. I ended up wanting to spend more time in the area so I booked a bunk for the night.
The guy at the front desk told me it was a different vibe now that the hikers have gone by. He was right. When I walked through the corridor and to the back porch, the leaves had fallen and the air felt different but I could sense the hikers that had passed through. I could feel their laughter and their rowdy behavior, as if the love they shared in the community had stayed behind and the energy lingered underneath the cold dark appearance it was now.
And so, I decided to take a stroll around Bishop. I felt so different being in this trail town now versus who I was in 2019. I felt like a new woman. I seemed to be so much more sure of my footing, more grounded… less of a bitch. I saw there was a movie playing at the theatre so I booked a ticket as there was a romantic flick that was about to start. I found I wasn’t enjoying it after the first hour so I left and checked out some gear stores.
When I came back to my bunk, I met a cute guy. I knew we were both interested in each other.
“I like your hat,” I said.
“I like your…” he started as he searched for something on my body to keep the conversation going. “Necklace,” he said. “What is it if I may ask?”
“A pinecone.”
I stepped closer towards him so he could take a better look. He held it in his hand then tugged on it slightly as the cord pulled tight around my neck. He held it for an extended period of time, tightening the space between us and sending me into a frenzy while doing so. It reminded me of that porn star I hooked up with in Hawaii that did the same move. He had pulled on it just the same, right before he banged the shit out of me.
Then another guy in the bunk room introduced himself. He was a rock climber named Calvin, out here with a big group of his friends climbing rock faces near Bishop. He was about to go out to the bar where he was meeting up with them.
“Wanna come?” he asked.
“Yes!”
He was very sociable and kind. Before we left, I showed him my ropes and asked if I could see his. He said his were in his car so we walked over there for him to open the trunk where he opened a hefty sized duffel bag with heavy ropes. I nodded my head, seemingly impressed by the display. Is this the part where he throws me in his trunk to later tie me up in those ropes? I shook my head to dismiss the thoughts.
We walked into the saloon and greeted his friends. Most of them were originally from Thailand. They were so curious about how I backpacked around the country just as I was mind blown by how they rock climbed big boulders and found enjoyment in that. It was such a different reality but we shared commonality in our love for the outdoors.
They ordered some drinks while I sipped on my water. Calvin commented that he was not that fond/impressed of the mountains here. “You look at the Sierras and they’re just like some piles of dirt.”
Everyone went silent. I put my head down in disbelief. “How could you say that about the Sierras?!” I asked.
The rest of the night he got roasted for calling the Sierra Nevada anything less than magnificent.
One of the girls, Bunmi, kept asking me deep life questions, such as if I were to ever want a life partner, what my family life was like and my sexual preferences. All of the guys at the table laughed, mind blown by the intrusive questions.
“Oh this is normal,” I said. “We’re women, we go deep. I have no issue answering.”
She smiled. “Do you ever think about getting married, maybe meeting the love of your life?”
“All of the time,” I said, “I just know I don’t want that right now.”
“What if you met someone who had the same things you love in common?”
She looked over at Calvin. He side eyed her.
She placed her hand on his shoulder. “Like him!”
“Way to make it subtle,” he said as he took a sip of his beer.
She asked if I was into a specific race and I said, “Not really. I’m not picky.” I looked over at the single guy in the group named Kamon and said, “I like Asians.”
They had a book on them that was all about bouldering in Bishop. They flipped through the pages and showed me a climb they loved. To me, it just looked like a big ball of rock.
Not sure of what to say, I naturally blurted, “That’s a nice rock.”
They laughed, then Jaran, Bunmi’s man, asked, “Are you free to come rock climbing with us tomorrow?!”
“I can be,” I said.
I loved that I moved in life in a way where I could be so free flowing and move based on feeling rather on the pressure of time. I came to the west coast because I wanted to meet people and try new things, then viola.
Bunmi had another question. “If you could be living your dream life right now, what would you be doing?”
“This,” I said without hesitancy. “Exactly what I’m doing right now.”
She sat back in her seat. “Wow, you are actually living out your dream right now in the present time.”
“Yes,” I said.
At the end of the night, Calvin asked us all some life-contemplating questions. The first one being, “What was an impactful moment in your life?” which somehow translated to everyone as, “What was the most traumatic moment in your life?”
We went around the room as people shared stuff like the death of a pet or a romantic relationship breaking apart.
One guy in particular, when it was his turn said, “Suppress. Suppress. Suppress.”
We eventually got him to talk and he blurted, “My Dad ran over our dog while we were on our way to Disneyland.” Our eyes widened as he continued, “I was seven at the time.”
“Oh my god, it keeps getting worse,” I said.
“Oh yeah, it gets even worse,” he said. “He didn’t want to ruin the day so he put the dog in a trash bag and we still went to Disneyland.”
Silence filled the room as the girls started to cry.
“Thanks guys,” he said. “It was a suppressed memory, but not anymore!”
Then we looked at Calvin with tears in our eyes and said, “What the fuck, man? What happened to keeping the energy light?”
He changed the wording of the question and instead asked, “Okay, what was the most powerful moment in your life? Something that shifted your perspective and changed you deeply.”
Bunmi said it was the moment that she learned how to stand up for herself and honor the things she wanted rather than what everyone else wanted. One of the guys said it was the moment he discovered rock climbing, said the way he felt on the rocks was when his mind went still and there was nothing like the feeling. Another guy described his time living in a tent for about a year and waking up to a stunning sunrise and all of a sudden everything felt right in the world.
When it was my turn, I said, “Probably the moment I found my way to God, but that was a series of events and not one moment in particular.”
Today I felt as if I was a new woman, yet I also experienced an old version of myself that I thought I had lost. When I was out with the group, I wasn’t trying to have sex with Calvin or anyone else for that matter. Even though I was attracted to the men, I naturally felt as if I wanted to connect in a deeper way. I didn’t even try to make a move on Calvin when I came home and that very moment felt relaxing on my heart. There was no pressure on myself to get laid or to use him in order to feel any amount of sexual energy. That moment felt like a miracle.
