I went to a used gear store to buy some rock climbing shoes. Everything I put on felt extremely tight and constraining. I didn’t know what it was supposed to feel like exactly. I was used to wearing wide toe box shoes that felt like walking on a cloud. I asked a random customer what was considered good and he helped guide me. I thought I found a solid pair but he said they were “too aggressive.” Not sure what that meant so I just bought ones two sizes bigger than my normal fit since it felt more comfortable.
Bunmi and Jaran drove us off the beaten track on the outskirts of town into the Volcanic Tableland where we met up with the rest of the group at a boulder called The Fang! We grabbed mats, known as crash pads, and set them up underneath the rock.
Bunmi pointed out white chalk that was found on rocks from the people who climbed before. At first I thought it was bird poop. Apparently there were actual routes on each boulder that had different levels of grade/experience starting at VB/V0 and going up to V17. At first glance I couldn’t understand what the group was trying to climb. I was surprised to find they were actually traversing the boulder by hanging on it upside down with only the use of their fingers and toes.
They picked a spot for me that was considered beginner level then Bunmi showed me how to ascend it. They placed crash pads in a couple of different spaces and spotted me in case I were to fall. I climbed up and honestly it was very easy. My adrenaline was still pumping but it looked much more intimidating from the bottom. There were lots of different places I was able to hook my hands and feet, known as jugs or pockets.
They had me approach the same rock face from a different angle. Apparently I wasn’t allowed to start from the ground and sort of jump onto the easy part of the rock. Instead, I had to have my feet and hands on the rocks then work my way up.
“Act as if you cannot touch the floor,” Bunmi said.
“As if it’s lava!” I said.
I was able to accomplish the more complicated climb and make it into a hole near the top!
Then, I tried The Fang for shits and gigs but fell each moment I attempted the toe hook. Eventually, Bunmi and I scoped out the area until we found some boulders that were accessible but a bit more challenging for me. She found one called Bad Parrot then climbed it first to show me how it was done. I followed right after her, definitely feeling more of a challenge. My breathing rhythm picked up, and although I knew I was being spotted, I was still nervous.
Calvin came by then walked up one called Mad Parrot which appeared steeper and had smaller pockets to place your toes in. He made it look effortless. I decided to give it a go, not expecting to make it more than a couple of feet. When I made it far enough that I figured it would hurt if I fell, my mind suddenly went silent as did the entire group.
“Why is everyone quiet?!” I yelled.
“We’re just watching and spotting,” Bunmi said.
“You’re doing great, Freyja!”
I felt my adrenaline go up and told myself it wasn’t an option to go down when I made it 3/4 of the way up. The entire group was very supportive, giving me cues and guiding me on where to place my hands and feet. They were lifting me up and I was able to see just how having positive feedback in my life gave me so much confidence. Their support helped give me the energy to continue on, even when my body felt frozen still on some random boulder.
“Breathe, Freyja,” they would say.
“Relax, you got this.”
“Focus on your next step.”
The moment I felt difficulty arise, and I felt as if I didn’t know how to trust my next step, everything suddenly slowed down. My mind went entirely still and quiet. I took a deep breath then I heard their voices fading back in.
“Trust your footing.”
“Come on, use those thru-hiker legs!”
I thought so much about Marc-André Leclerc and how his rock climbing journey began. It felt as if I got to experience a little bit of his life today through the vessel of my own apparent body. He was my inspiration to keep trying. And so I did and I was able to make the ascend. I couldn’t believe what those rubber shoes could do and how little of a crevice or hole they could squeeze into. I felt like a mountain goat.
The rest of the night, I studied and watched the way the boys would maneuver on the overhangs and steep rock slabs, in wonder of the way they danced so delicately on such hard earth features. I watched Kamon attempt to traverse The Fang over and over again. He had only been climbing for 8 months, but seemed upset that he couldn’t do it. Anytime he fell, he would yell curse words, then take a break and keep trying. He seemed envious of the ones who were more professional and able to ascend the route, such as Calvin.
“It’s so intimidating,” Kamon said.
“It’s meant to be inspiring, not intimidating,” Calvin said.
I took that in. The feeling of envy was meant to be a tool to strive to become better and stronger in the sport, not to put oneself down for not being where you think you should be.
Overall, everyone said I did incredible and that I was a natural for my first time ever rock climbing/bouldering.
“You have zero fear,” Kamon said.
“Rock climbing is a pushing sport,” Calvin said, “you were a natural at understanding that it’s a lot about pushing off your legs.”
When night fell and I watched them climb using their headlamps, I noticed I was beginning to fall in love with an entirely new form of art. I inhaled the scent of chalk on my hands. It felt intoxicating. I felt as if I was cheating on backpacking. The community was similar to that of thru-hikers. They had their own jargon that I didn’t understand, using words such as beta, campus and flash. They had their own ‘leave no trace’ rules and also things that some rock climbers found to be ‘picky’ or to ‘not count’ as a clean climb.
What I really loved was how humble they all were and the way they worked together as a team. When I looked back at the videos, I saw the way everyone spotted me. It appeared symbolic to the way God protected me. His Fatherly energy might appear completely unseen to me but I could rest assured knowing I was being protected and watched over.
“Congratulations, Freyja,” Jaran said. “You’re a rock climber now.”
“Don’t tell my thru-hiker friends,” I joked.
“Welcome to the other side. We’ll give you a rock climber name.”
Kamon and I had been flirting since day one, so I asked Bunmi if he was single. She confirmed he was. I wasn’t interested in Calvin; not sure if he was even into me but I will say I loved how mature he was. He saw the situation for what it was and kept it casual when my energy shifted towards another guy.
I ended up starting my moon as they were still climbing. The girls came to the rescue and gave me napkins along with some panty liners. Candy took me around a boulder as she held the headlamp for me while I situated myself. Then, we sat down on some uneven rocky sand in between some boulders and leaned our backs onto a rock slab.
I looked up at the stars. “You know,” I started, “when you asked me yesterday about wanting a committed relationship. The true answer is I do but I’m scared I’m going to fuck it up.”
She looked up at the stars with me, as if channeling a message from God, then responded with advice and positive affirmations. “I believe that when it is truly the one, you won’t even be worried about such a thing.” By the end of the conversation, we were in a state of laughter. We even saw a shooting star in the midst of it all.
Afterwards, we all packed up then went to Denny’s and maxed out. It was surprisingly so delicious that every one of us cleared our plates. Kamon ended up paying for all of our meals since it was his last day climbing. It was his way of saying thank you.
“Not cool man,” someone said.
“What the fuck, dude,” another guy said.
“I got the most expensive thing on the menu!” Jaran said.
Everyone was giving him a hard time, then Bunmi said, “This is normal in the Asian culture to try to be the one who pays first. People will try to be very sneaky like that and pay before another person gets the chance.”
As we were walking out, I realized this would be a core memory. I came to Bishop to re-experience my memories of the PCT and to relive what once was. Unbeknownst to me, I would be making entirely different memories, and honestly, tenfold times more wholesome than what I had way back in the day. I prophesied that one day I would be coming back here just the same, to remember these days climbing with a group of people I had just met. And so I gave my full undivided attention to them, sharing a deep connection and appreciating what I was given while it was right in front of me.
Just before we left the parking lot, Bunmi and Jaran blasted the song “My Neck, My Back” in the car then nearly did a strip tease dance for their friends. I couldn’t help but laugh my heart out. It felt as if I was in high school all over again.
Kamon and I were definitely into one another and hung out in the common area when we got back to the hostel. We were both acting so shy but eventually just started making out on the couch. I gave him a blowjob right there, then we tried looking for a place to bang with zero luck since we kept getting interrupted. I suggested we go into the bathroom as we couldn’t do it in the bunk rooms since our friends were in there. Someone attempted to open the door as he was fucking me doggy style.
“Why are there people up at midnight?!” I whisper yelled.
Eventually, we gave up and went to his room to cuddle and nearly died of heat exhaustion overnight. We snuck some sex in which was nearly impossible because the bed squeaked at our slightest movement. He mostly just throbbed inside of me which I loved just as much.
