I woke up in pain. My fingers were swollen, my forearms were tight and I was on the heaviest day of my moon. I found it wild how it didn’t even feel like I did that much. I was used to feeling pain after a 30 mile day on trail, not a 20 second climb on a boulder.
Bunmi said they were going to The Happys and I had a couple of minutes to get ready. I was tired and spent, but I sucked it up since I was way too excited for the opportunity I had been given. Barely put together and with a lack of snacks for the day, I didn’t care for I was off to the mountains!
We drove out then walked up the hill from the parking lot and came across a boulder with a decent amount of jugs. I started off with an easy route to warm up my muscles. Then, we walked over to one called Safe Surfer where most of the group was. I climbed on top of it and looked down at the climbing community below me, impressed by their ability and strength. Their clothing was covered in white chalk and their smiles let on they were happy.
What cool people, I thought to myself.
Then, I looked down at my hands that already had ripped skin and calluses forming. I felt so honored to be here. I’ve been feeling in a plateau state the last couple of years, wanting to try something new but not knowing what. Never in my life did I think I would stumble upon this sport and actually find enjoyment in it, but I am beyond grateful I did.
A new path was in the making, one covered in white chalk dust and tender skin. My heart being the guide and my strength being in God, I knew I could accomplish great things I didn’t even know existed yet. Maybe one day I would be facing boulders that would make me shudder in fear, yet I would still find a way to ascend them, even if it took me hundreds of tries. Maybe one day I could face the walls in my heart just the same, even if it took me thousands of attempts before I came close to solving the problem. For if there is a ‘problem’ to begin with, it’s inevitable for there to be a solution.
I scrambled back down the rock and stood next to Robson. He was another guy I had my eye on, however I assumed he was with one of the girls, Allegra. It was hard to tell because he was flirting with me but clearly had a vibe with her. I didn’t want to cause any drama in their group so I kept my distance and left my energy reserved.
“Want a bite of my sandwich?” Robson asked.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Peanut butter and pickles.”
“I feel oddly offended you would offer me that.”
Oh but my hormones were losing their grip. His Canadian accent wasn’t helping me keep my cool, either. He was tall, had long hair and the way he looked at me made me want to cross my own boundary.
I pointed to Heavenly Path. “Want to check out that V0 with me?” I asked.
“Sure.”
He had been actively climbing for two months so he was also on the beginner side. We were going to work on a route called the Celestial Trail. Earlier we had seen a guy making laps on it a handful of times. He said he did that to work through any anxiousness around heights. When he got comfortable with it, he would move on to a more challenging boulder and do the same thing, using it as practice to overcome fear and come back to his breath. I applied that to my own experience and did laps on it until my legs stopped shaking.
Then, we worked on a VB called Which Road. It felt harder than the V0. I still couldn’t comprehend how the grades worked. I traversed it multiple times as it felt very scary to me. I had to trust that shoving my tippy toes into small holes would have to hold my weight. I found myself shaking with adrenaline even after the fourth time traversing it.
We took a break to cool off our muscles. I leaned on a rock and flat out asked, “Hey, are you with Allegra?”
“No,” he said.
“Because I’m into you,” I blurted. “I just don’t want to be stepping on anyone’s toes.”
“You’re not stepping on anyone’s toes.”
I felt as if he was holding back some information. “Well, does she like you?”
He hesitated and then said, “No.”
“Do you like her?”
“Yeah,” he said, “probably more than I should.”
We decided to connect back up with our friends at another boulder called The Clapper. On our walk there we got slightly lost but came across naturally formed arches, the crescent moon glowing in the center as if it were being pictureframed by the rock. Then, Robson and I saw our friends waving down at us from atop a big boulder.
“Come check out this vista point!” they yelled. “It’s out of this world!”
We scurried up then walked past our friends to a plateau with an open desert mountain view.
“I’m sorry if you felt I was ignoring you back there,” he said.
I didn’t even know what he was talking about. I didn’t feel ignored.
“It’s just I’m really not confident when it comes to talking about this sort of stuff,” he added.
“All good,” I said, “I just tend to be the type to blurt stuff out.”
“That’s probably a better option,” he said.
“Well, I am attracted to you,” I admitted.
He paused. “I really enjoyed spending time rock climbing with you.”
I figured that was his way of rejecting me nicely so I accepted it. I wasn’t the type to keep pushing if someone was clearly not interested.
After a long pause he said, “I’m the type to crush hard.” Then he looked out into the horizon as a helicopter skirted the sky. “So… I don’t know what to do about that.”
“Well, you can always just roll with it.”
He was being very vague as to whether or not he was into me. The vibe I got was he was just shy.
At the end of the night, we walked over to Monkey Hang so they could give it another go. I was pretty spent so I just watched as they played around on the overhang.
