Nolen drove me into town so I could meet up with a guy named Damek. He had been following my writing for a while so figured it would be fun to finally connect in person and go on a small hike.
“I can’t promise you an x-rated time,” he said, “but I can promise you a pretty good PG one.”
“Works for me!”
Before I left, Nolen dipped his hand into his chalk bag so I could take some pictures of his palm and fingers. There was nothing that got me off more than men’s hands, especially when they were positioned in a way that reminded me of getting fingered. I held his hand in mind as white dust fluttered around us like snow. I snapped some photos and told him I would masturbate to them later.
I kissed Nolen goodbye then Damek treated me to breakfast at an old school diner I found way back when. Afterwards, we found an 11 mile out-and-back trail for us to hike. We walked through snow, stopping every once in a while to take pictures of pinecones, bear prints and study boulders that I could possibly climb. We both had pretty ‘out there’ and blunt personalities so it was nice to josh around with someone without it being taken seriously. I wanted to hike the full length, however I needed to hitch out by 1 pm so I could make it down south a ways before dark, at least to Bishop for the night.
He dropped me off at highway 395 then we parted ways. Got easy rides from a local woman then by a guy who was meeting his girlfriend in Mammoth. I felt I was sexualizing him, suddenly feeling aroused and as if I needed to do something about it. I felt in heat, nearly grinding myself on the cushion of his car seat and having to really stop myself from pouncing on him.
The last ride I got was from an older gentleman who said he would take me to Bishop because the father in him wanted to make sure I got there safely.
“But first,” he started, “I just need to stop at the house and take a shower.”
I had the memory from a few days ago come up. He saw the hesitancy in my eyes.
“The name on the truck is the name of my business,” he said, “everyone knows me here. You are safe, I’ll take you there right after.”
I said okay and felt more safe knowing his house was directly on the side of the highway so I could get out if need be.
“Do you have any idea of where you want to go?” he asked.
“No not yet, I was just going to stay at the hostel.”
He turned the TV on for me, offered me food and tea. I sat in a pretty reserved position to which he could feel I was antsy to go.
He took a shower quickly then said, “Okay, let’s go.“
My hand touched the door.
“Unless you want to stay,” he said, “you’re more than welcome to.”
“Really?!”
“Yeah, I thought about it when I was in the shower. You seem harmless.” He didn’t plan on coming back for the night since he was helping a friend out with something in Bishop. “Just please don’t steal anything.”
“I would never.”
“Yeah, well, here’s some paper in case you want to leave a thank you note.”
He put a heater in my room then showed me where the shower was and left.
I had been feeling so horny all day, the kine of energy where I wanted to scream/cry. If it weren’t for him offering his home, I would’ve gone to town and fucked a random stranger. I was grateful that the energy could now play itself out in a safe space rather than through manipulating someone for an artificial minute of connection.
And so, I relaxed into his space, in full gratitude of a warm bed and my favorite thing of all: solitary silence. I watched an old time movie while I made pasta in the kitchen and danced with myself.
