July 27, 2021 (Part 4)
The thru-hiking community is truly another world. I know I share my daily experiences of the trail, the hardships, the laughter, the pictures, but none of it even comes close to capturing the real life experience of the trail & the community of people that you meet. Itās like this hidden gem in the middle of the wilderness with trail angels, hiker boxes, surprise adventures & love of a different kind. With your home on your back, you will be surprised by all of the places the trail will take you & the vast changes of scenery you will see in just one day. You will be astounded by the...
July 27, 2021 (Part 3)
1,000% worth waiting for you guys. Thru-hiking is a life changing experience. You meet your soul family & it feels as though youāve known each other for lifetimes, as though youāre reuniting with long lost family. Personal boundaries disintegrate & all thatās left is joyous & childlike play. Thank you so much for all of the laughter, the tears, the warmth you guys brought into my life. I love you guys & I am already looking forward to our reunion in Breck. šš»ā¤ļø
July 27, 2021 (Part 2)
The rest of my tramily hit the finish line!!!!! ššš„³ It has been so beyond joyous to see all of their faces again before I hitched out. ā¤ļø Our day consisted of hanging at the trailhead for a couple hours, celebrating several hikers hit the finish line & gifting them with trail magic. We all went to get pizza at what I consider my favorite pizza place now (Fired Up Pizza)!! š We got vegan ice cream as dessert & we read a book about Sextrology & learned about one anotherās zodiac signs. I got my pack fixed up by 3 hikers who work at REI, which btw, I almost cried from how much better my pack...
July 27, 2021
Journal entry before I flew out to Colorado: Iāve been angry inside, for several months now. Iām really good at playing it off & making jokes about myself because truthfully, I DO try to make my life into a joke so I donāt end up taking it so seriously. Iām working 3 jobs right now, 2 of them Iām extremely passionate about but thereās still this undeniable pull to be walking barefoot in the dirt, driving to a state 30 hours away just cause I felt like it, dancing in Nevada City, hanging out with hiker trash by the bonfire. Why canāt I just BE happy in no matter what state of mind Iām in?...
July 26, 2021 (Part 2)
I got a table at Carver Brewing Co. as I waited for part of my tramily to show up! They offer free beer for thru-hikers!! I asked if I could get a local root beer instead. For some reason I donāt drink when Iām traveling. I met an awesome group of people sitting across me who picked a conversation. They plan on hiking the AT next year!!! I told them Iād see them out there. ā¤ļø Then, I met some guys who asked about my lifestyle & were super inspired. Itās either that or people assume Iām homeless. š They ended up surprising me by paying for my meal. I seriously have been getting to the...
July 26, 2021
Well today, I experienced the second panic attack of my life. š I hiked with a guy named Peter who lived in Durango & he walked me to a trailhead where he suggested I do the Hogsback Trail, as did other people. People out here made it sound like a casual day hike so I went for it. Helllllll fuuuucking noooo. I was about 100 feet from the top (which was a straight shot up). I got rid of my trekking poles & started grabbing onto bushes & rocks, which were barely holding into the dirt. I was shaking & I went into a panic attack. I havenāt experienced that in years. I was going to turn around...
July 25, 2021 (Part 2) My days in the Weminuche Wildernessā¦ š£šš²
Hiked from the Vallecito Creek Trailhead up to the Nebo Creek junction where I connected to the CDT momentarily. Hiked up to the pinnacles & back down to the Flint Creek Trail which let to the Pine River Trail. š£ The past few days gave me a completely different outlook on section-hiking. It was extremely fun for me to use a paper map & to just explore the trails that were in the area.
July 25, 2021
Today I came back from the Weminuche forest area & road walked for a couple of miles. I got picked up by a sweet older man named William who was on his way to church. He had a passion for horseback riding & says he chose to live in Durango because he was always drawn to the mountains & appreciated the way they humbled him. His son David also hiked the PCT a few years back. š£š I hung out in town for several hours & journaled/called friends back home. I also wanted to check to see how far my tramily was from the finish line since I still plan to see their beautiful faces. Worth the wait. ā¤ļø...
July 24, 2021 Weminuche Wilderness
I woke up to the wolves howling; sounded no more than a mile away. Opened up my tent to see a bright full moon. Reminded me of Hawaii. šš Iād say the first 15 miles of the hike really tested my patience. The trail didnāt seem maintained whatsoever. The amount of bushwhacking & down trees I had to walk over & around was more than I ever experienced, approximately every 50 feet. My clothes were drenched from the first ten steps I took out of my tent. Ripped a bunch of holes in them from all the bushwacking. Slipped in mud at least 7 times (not sure how people hike without trekking poles). I...
July 23, 2021 Weminuche Wilderness
This would be the time I would go back to Chicago but I have no desire to. I decided to keep hiking since I felt called to wait for my tramily & let the fires die down a bit before I hitched to the West Coast. I got a ride to the Vallecito Creek Trail by a guy named Matt. He told his boss he was going to be lateā¦ said he used to hitchhike a lot himself & understands. Most of the car ride consisted of him telling me about every conspiracy theory you can think of. I loved it. š Got to the trailhead, met a cowboy who gave me suggestions on where I could hike. I decided to do some trails in...
July 21, 2021
I will always believe in the kindness of strangers. I met a woman named Lisa back in Southpark when I was beginning the CT. Her son picked a conversation with me about my hike & they both were super inspired & offered me a place to stay when I finished. Yesterday, she met me in Durango & drove me to her home in the middle of the woodsā¦ a pine forest of 35 acres. Her son, Tucker, was the sweetest & most polite kid to be around. She told her son to never pick up hitchhikers, under no circumstances whatsoever, but she broke that rule with me. I didnāt even know how to accept everything she...
July 20, 2021 (Part 2)
It took me 500 miles to release you from my mind. Itās not often that a guy will see me truly & I only showed you a speck, but that seemed to send me into a spiral. At the start, you told me I was intimidating to you. That should have been a red flag for me. I am at a point in my life where I am sick of settling for guys that cannot handle me. My sisters have been teaching me that I need an alpha male. It is one thing to take charge of me physically & turn me on in the bedroom, but thatās not enough for me anymore. I want to take leaps of faith into one anotherās mind. I want the rawnessā¦...
July 20, 2021
I made it to the finish line early this morning!!! šš #500miles Itās funny, I look back to my post when I first started in Denver with the caption āCT, Iām coming for you!ā Not recognizing at the time, the CT was coming for me. Itās so true that itās ourselves we conquer, not the mountains. I would do it all again. Every step. Every thunderstorm. I would drink the cow poop water again. I would climb Fucker Hill again. All of those moments were fleetingā¦ passing by in the blink of an eye. Mahalo CT, for a life-altering experience. It is unbelievable how much I discovered about myself in...
July 19, 2021
Segment 28: Today was my last full day on the CT. I have 5 miles left to the finish line & I donāt want the trail to end. I plan on waiting for my tramily to make it to Durango so we can celebrate & take a zero together. In the meantime I plan on doing a short 60-90 mile thru-hike. ā¤ļø I had a funny moment when I hit Kennebec Trailhead. I ran into a lot of day hikers/tourists & I straight up looked homeless compared to them. They would walk by me & they would smell like clean laundry. Itās interesting when youāre in the woods for so long & you come across those scents, they are actually...
July 18, 2021
Segment 25-27: I ended up starting my moon this morning which I did not plan for because I assumed the physical exertion on my body would cause it to come later but instead it came earlier. So with that being said, I decided to free-bleed. I did not vibe with it while hiking because it felt like I was just pissing down my legs. š It was much easier in Hawaii when I was in my community or at the nude beach where I could just rinse myself off. I did feel pretty badass, though, because I guarantee if men were bleeding out of their d***ās they would probably call it quits. I was happy for the...
July 17, 2021
Segment 24-25: I hit the 400 mile mark!! šš I saw a bunch of clouds rolling in before noon & I prayed for it to not hit me (at least just this once š ). The rest of the day I walked in some sort of sun circle where all of the thunderclouds were surrounding me, but I wasnāt getting any of the action. I was also in full celebration that I was back within the trees. š²ā¤ļø I saw so many people today which actually felt super nice. Most of them were day hikers. Every other group was stopping me to congratulate me & was in awe that I was doing a thru-hike. Whereas the whole time I was wondering if...
July 16-17, 2021
Segment 22-23: Grabbed breakfast with the boys & hitched a ride back to Spring Creek Pass. Hiked with Andy & James & set up camp suuuuper early. I made them a special meal which they loved. Iāve been told itās better than some mountain house meals. š Today, I reached the high point of the CT. I was so worried about it due to having altitude issues, but it was definitely one of the easier passes. ā¤ļøš„° It felt like I had the San Juanās all to myself. It was what I wanted, but I felt super emotional & really began to experience a feeling of missing my friends. My moon cycle should be starting...
July 14, 2021
I met an amazing woman at the hostel Iām staying at, named Bambi. She has been passionately telling me stories about her son hiking the CDT. She calls him her trainer because he inspired her to go out & hike the CT. I thought that was the most badass thing. I would kill for my parents to experience something like this with me rather than just assuming Iām crazy. She said, āI wanted to physically experience walking a mile in my sonās shoes so I could better understand him.ā God, I think thatās HUGE. We grow by keeping an open mind & trying new things rather than staying in a place of...
July 13, 2021 (Part 2)
Met some motorists, or as they like to call themselves, adventure riders. š They were super fun to talk to & told me of the days they travel 600 miles at a time just to experience the road. That little girl inside me was screaming ālet me come with!!!ā There have been numerous times where I went cruising with some older guy on his bike. Unforgettable moments. A rush of a different kind. My mom called me to tell me happy birthday & said āyouāre 26 now, when are you going to start living a normal life & making a family?ā She has asked me that same question for years now & I find myself...
July 13, 2021
(Segment 21): I celebrated my birthday by hiking 23 miles today. I told Spirit I just wanted to see the sunrise. The second I got up & turned around, it peaked over the mountain, just in time to witness the miracle as it disappeared into the clouds seconds later. š I was walking above tree line most of the day today when out of nowhere, yes out of nowhere, the biggest hail storm hit me WHILE I had several miles of ridge line walking left. At first it was chill, but VERY quickly I got completely annihilated by giant ice balls. I was thinking to myself āGoda, you like bdsm, just try to be...
July 12, 2021
(Segment 19-20): Today I did 31 miles. I have had an abundance of energy for quite some time now. I donāt know whatās been going on. No amount of sex, macrame, dancing seems to fully release it. Iāll be at mile 400 in a few days & I canāt seem to stop walking. I feel like Forest Gump. š There is still exhaustion, donāt get me wrong, however my legs just want to keep on wandering. A lot of healing is occurring. I feel I am slowly walking off the pain of old beliefs, past experiences with relationships, hardships Iāve struggled with, etc. It was my first true solo day in a while. It felt...
July 11, 2021
(End of Collegiate West; Segment 15-18): Yesterday I began hiking solo again which lasted about 7 minutes before I ran into a girl named Hot Sauce. It seems the trail does not want me to hike alone. š I keep running into badass people so all I can say is itās a blessing. Hot Sauce & I hit it off right away. We had the same flow with how fast we hiked & how long we took our breaks. To top it off, we had some really insightful conversations about life. We got to know each other like sisters. We laughed, we nearly cried from the tough terrain, we immersed in the beauty of our surroundings....
July 9, 2021
(Collegiate West): Walked about 12 miles to the trailhead with pizza as my motivator. There was a road walk detour we had to take in direct sunlight & I felt as though I was going to cry from how hungry I was. š We made it to the trailhead, greeted by Professorās close friend, who so kindly gifted us with homemade banana bread, snickers, & cold water. I ate four loaves & felt as though my soul became rejuvenated. He gave us a ride back to the air b&b they were staying at & we did our laundry & all of us knocked out for a couple of hours. We drove to Moonlight Pizza (OMG š¤¤). Once again, I...
July 8, 2021
(Collegiate West): āEverything in moderation except for sex & mountains.ā ~Professor . . Today, Professor & I decided to stop at his friends cabin to take a shower & take a siesta during the hottest part of the day. It was hard not to get caught up in the vortex of such amazing company & hospitality. The people who own the place are building a store for hikers along with a place where they can shower & recharge. So grateful for people that take the time to do such grand gestures for thru-hikers. šš»ā¤ļø After we hung out for a few hours, we began our trek again. Professor & I made it to the...
July 7, 2021
(Collegiate West): Todayās trek up several passes was motivated by Professor giving me kisses throughout the dayā¦ inflicting into my mind what he was daydreaming about doing to me later. The passes were tough. There were 5 of them, all just under 13,000ā. I thought my lungs were going to give out. But, I am the type of hiker that takes my sweet ass time on the uphills. I am like a turtle. I am steady with my footsteps, pacing my breathing & slowing down a notch if it becomes too challenging. Lots of people think you have to be this speedy hiker, but I learned throughout the PCT that that...
July 6, 2021
(Collegiate West): Oh baby, the trail truly provides. The other day I wrote a personal journal entry about how I often fetishize the roles men play. The firefighter, police officer, bartender, chef, you name it. Then I realized it is okay to drool over these characters & that it is okay to roleplay if I donāt happen to get the real experience. I started hiking solo again & I met THE sexiest older man. God, I was drooling. I asked what his (trail) name was & he goes āProfessorā. My eyes widened. I asked him if he was really a professor & he said yes, a chemistry professor. He wasnāt in the...
July 5, 2021 (Part 3)
Segment 11 (Beginning of Collegiate West) : Definitely went through a grieving process leaving my tramily behind. But, I ended up seeing them again in Twin Lakes since I had to wait for them to open the store to resupply. I canāt seem to stay away from them. š The general store was awesome. They had a dog that looked JUST like the mayor of idyllwild! (Yes, they have a dog as a mayor & I got to meet him on the pct. š) They have hikers a discount along with free coffee. Absolutely unbelievable. It is people like you that make they-hikers inspired to keep going. We appreciate those things...
July 5, 2021 (Part 2)
With the lingering pain of my muscles working uphill & the cold rain dripping down my face, I still noticed this deep sense of happiness beneath it all. I kept thinking to myself, āI am living my fucking dream right now. I am experiencing it.ā The hardest thing is just doing it sometimes. Just following the inspiration. You know what inspired me to go hiking up the mountains again? I was at the bar I was working at a couple months ago, trying to sleep with this guy I was on a date with. I was all seductive & touchy, only having one thing in mind. He, on the other hand, was more interested...
July 5, 2021
I have learned the ways of following my intuitionā¦ listening attentively to where I am feeling guided. Iāve always been good at going with the flow. It is the way that I āplanā thingsā¦ doesnāt mean itās easy every time. I parted ways with the rest of my tramily today because I feel called to amp up my miles & get into a couple more trails before summer ends. I gave Mo a hug goodbye once I finished packing my bag. I became overwhelmed with sadness. I said goodbye to Funky & I am glad she didnāt get out of her tent because the tears were beginning to form. For a good 2 miles of walking, I...
July 3-4, 2021
Segment 9-11: I cannot describe the level of excitement I experienced when I found a hidden bag of peanut m&mās in my bag. It was a moment of true happinessā¦ it also made sense to me why my bag weighed so much. š I also now have an ass pad, thanks to Bubbly, which is a MUST for the trail. How dare I forget to pack mine. š± I ran into a friend that thru-hiked the PCT with me, so that was absolutely lovely! Crazy how the trail community just synchronizes again. I did a tent swap with Mo because I was sick of carrying my two person tent. It had too much weight & was only good for emergency...
July 2, 2021
Segment 8: Today, the most fun thing that happened was getting completely obliterated by a thunderstorm on a ridge line, which Funky Chicken defined better as a āhurricaneā. š We legit thought we were going to die, but somehow we just kept walking. Luckily it hit us when we only had .5 left to summit. On our way down, we met a bunch of CDT hikers who were smiling & laughing. They were waiting an hour under a tarp until the storm passed. I love seeing people still keeping such a light heart after an intense experience like thatā¦ being able to laugh about the struggle. I consider that true...
July 1, 2021 (Part 2)
I have been loving being alone with my thoughts in complete silence. Genuinely. Itās fun to see how much nonsense is being spoken in my mind when I take the time to be still. At the same time, in the stillness, Iāve been getting so many insights about what is important to me, what kind of relationships I desire to have in my life, the places where I want to spend my time, the things I want to learn. I can feel how much of an impact I receive when I am alone in the woods. It seems everything just comes together in my mind. This trail feels like a new experience, of course it isā¦ but the...
July 1, 2021
Segment 7: Mo, Funky, Glitter Bug & I slackpacked up to a summit of 12,489ā. My legs began to tingle & I found it pretty hard to breathe. We got there just in time for Glitter Bug & I to take our tops off for a picture. I am so surprised I have never done that on the PCT. Very unlike me. š We got hit by a giant hail storm while still having to do around 6 miles. I remember smiling a lot. My perception of being in the rain has shifted tremendously. I learned to love being wet for it helps me appreciate the sun so much more. I also love the scent the earth gives off after a fresh rainstorm....
June 30, 2021 (Part 2)
Tonight, I experienced a deep cry. In the middle of writing, I had a big trigger come up having to do with a boy. I could not find the words to write anymore & the tension just kept building so I let myself feel it out. After all, that is what the trail has taught me. I asked Bubbalicious if she could come into my bunk because I felt like I needed a hug. She happily hopped right in & I nuzzled into her & let it all out. I find it hard to open up sometimes. Itās almost as though Iām embarrassed about feeling upset about these particular things. I told her about the confusion Iāve been...
June 30, 2021
This tramily has been a God-sent, I swear. Itās amazing how we have known each other less than a week & from day one it has been obvious that they have been family. This morning in Breck, we stood in line for an hour to get crepes (worth it). Then, we went shopping for gear/clothing to prepare for thunderstorms in the mountains. I even bought myself the perfect hiker dress!! We went to the post office to send ourselves packages & then resupplied at the grocery store. Mo decided to surprise us with some beyond awesome trail magic: a free pass at a resort that he partially owns!!! We soaked...
June 28, 2021 (Part 2)
I feel more lost in Illinois compared to when I am on the trail. If you talk to other travelers/backpackers, it is a very shared feeling. On trail, thereās only the trail. Thereās not much to think aboutā¦ all you have is your home on your back & the trail in front of you. Very often people think Iām a nut job for doing this sort of stuff, but to me, it feels like the most sane thing one can do. Anybody can take one step at a time, day by day. I am a huge advocate for backpacking because it teaches you how to still your mind & bring back the simple things in life. The smell of a blooming...
June 28, 2021
Segment 6: Mo, Bubbalicious, Fur, Funky Chicken, & Big Red reunited!!! š I hitched a ride to Kenosha, walked 3 miles & found them as they were packing up! I cannot explain the amount of excitement I experienced when I saw my tramily. I gave them all hugs & snacks from town & we began our trek. š„° I felt as though I took laughing gas today or maybe I was high from the altitude. I could NOT stop laughing for the life of me. I felt joy that I have not experienced in a long long time. It felt so clear to me that you can laugh through your apparent misery & the pain you find yourself...
June 27, 2021
End of segment 5: Today I started hiking around 5:45am to make it into town & get my laundry done. I honestly wanted to do it in Breck, but I only had one pair of dry socks sooo it was time. I thought Iād get back on trail but then I looked at the weather & it said thunderstorms the next 10 days. So, I decided to grab a room in a super sweet family owned hotel & dry off. A couple of women saw me hiking & were fascinated that I was a thru-hiker & asked to take a picture with me. They ended up driving me to FairPlay & were so much fun to talk to the whole way there. My favorite part was...
June 26, 2021
Segment 4-5: Today my days consisted of āWhat. The. Fuck.ā Over & over again. I woke up with my tramily, we were all soaked. Our tents, shoes, bags, luckily are sleeping bags were only damp. I decided to hike without them today, because I was cold & wet & needed to warm up. I honestly didnāt even plan on hiking since it rained all night & I thought to myself there would be no chance of me hiking if it continues to rain because then my sleeping bag will most definitely get wet. I took my chances. I woke up to my first āwtfā by climbing up a hill that resembled the climbs I did in...
June 25, 2021
Segment 3-4: Completely annihilated by Mother Nature today. š I walked into another thunderstorm, which turned into a hailstorm, which completely flooded our path. We were walking uphill for what felt like ages & the water was just streaming through our shoes. Oh goodness. I did have a thought, thoughā¦ about how I would still choose days like this over being at an office in front of a computer working 9-5. In these experiences when I am cold, wet, hungry, & bleeding all at the same time, it reminds me of the strength I hold. It reminds me that it is all in my mind & that I have the power...
June 24, 2021
Segment 2: Today I accidentally walked 19 miles. I planned to only make it a 10-12 mile day to ease myself in, but as I know, things never go as planned. š There wasnāt going to be a water source for quite some time so everyone was trying to make it to the fire station. The firefighters offer water for the hikers (thank you so much). On my way there, I walked directly into a thunderstorm which I kind of had no choice about. There were no campsites around even if I wanted to set up. š I was smiling through it all, though. It felt so refreshing & it rained in the perfect section (exposed...
June 23, 2021
Segment 1: My first day hiking was so beyond eventful. I felt as though I wanted to capture every step, every scent, every moment. Airplane mode all day; completely alone with my thoughts. Oh my god, it felt sooooo fucking good to be alone. I donāt remember the last time I experienced such stillnessā¦ probably on the PCT. I was greeted by so many wild animals & insects. Reptiles, birds. Music all around me. I walked along side a creek for 6.2 miles as a few mountain bikers rode past me. Fishermen catching fish, day hikers. Everyone was so kind. I was so excited when I saw another...