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September 14, 2022 (Part 2)

Some people have been apparently sending screenshots of my blog posts to my family. That sort of thing had been occurring for years now, so I couldn’t say I was too surprised. I spoke to my Dad over a phone call and I was very honest with how I felt. I expressed how he could either choose to accept me or be angry at me for not turning out the way he thought he wanted me to be. In his perception, he viewed me as being a homeless prostitute. I took offense because I didn’t feel attracted to having sex with men for money. I simply had a high sex drive and was picky about the people I chose...

September 14, 2022

At the lodge, I met a British guy named Cameron. He was tall, lean and had a thick accent. He sported strands of grey throughout his hair and facial beard. He was a cyclist, biking as much of the Continental Divide as he could until his visa expired. He would come back next year to finish the rest. We both really wanted to spend another night to be out of the rain, however the lodge got fully booked out by a family. He asked if I wanted to split a room with him at a hotel and I said yes! He continues, “You probably want your own space since there might only be one bed.” I told him I did...

September 12, 2022

Made it to Yellowstone and hitched a ride from there towards Pinedale. A man named Julio from Ecuador picked me up. Later, I got picked up by a married couple who let me crash in their car as they did a road trip around the Tetons. God bless people who let me sleep in their car. They gave me $20 for food and dropped me off in Jackson. They hugged me goodbye and let me know if I didn’t make it out of town I could crash with them in their hotel. As I started walking down the sidewalk, a guy in front of me sneezed so I said, “Bless you!” When he turned around to thank me, he was taken aback...

September 11, 2022

(X-rated) September 11, 2022: In a couple of hours, I was on my way out of East Glacier with the Lithuanians I met a few days prior. They offered me a ride to Yellowstone which would get me much closer to Pinedale, WY. As I waited for them to get off their shift, I got together with some thru-hiker guys. We went to grab a bite to eat at Whistle Stop. I got to spend time with Squints, whom I hadn’t seen since New Mexico!! Since the moment I met him I felt super attracted to him, but it didn’t feel in alignment to make a move. So, instead, I insinuated my fantasies for him through my eyes...

September 10, 2022

Similar to the PCT, it was a choice of walking a few miles into Canada or walking approximately 30 miles back. I chose to walk back. I started hiking at 3am, took the Stoney Indian Pass trail junction and hiked towards Chief Mountain. At 4:30am, I ended up running into another thru-hiker on top of Stoney Indian Pass and we joked about how early we both started. We celebrated getting 6 miles in before sunrise! The climb was definitely an ass kicker, but I was stoked I wasn’t doing it in the heat of the day. I got to experience an epic sunrise on my way down with an overlooking view of the...

September 9, 2022

(CANADA!!!!) MM 2968.3: I could not get out of my tent for the life of me today. Everything was wet from the overnight rain and sleet. My tent had flooded and I woke up in a puddle. My sleeping pad and sleeping bag were completely drenched. I was still at the base of the mountain and had to motivate myself to get out into the cold wind and climb up a pass whilst there were snow clouds forming above me. There was nothing I could do but suck it up. It was after 8am when I started walking. I thought about Marc-André Leclerc today, as I did most of the summer. After watching the trials he...

September 8, 2022

MM 2956.2: Today, I took a long break as I sat on a ledge that overlooked Saint Mary Lake. I observed the moss on the trees and the ripples of the water… mesmerized by the silence and symbiosis. The clouds grew dark and uninviting. I made it down to the trailhead and got a ride to Many Glacier by a man named Gary. It poured rain the majority of the car ride. He offered me his take out pizza and a plethora of snacks. I got dropped off and put on my rain gear. I wanted so desperately to snuggle in a cozy room beside a fireplace, but instead I went to summit a pass in the cold. As I started...

September 7, 2022

MM 2911.7: Started hiking from Two Medicine. We had to take a reroute since some cows had escaped and died during the winter. As they started to thaw, about 20-30 grizzly bears started to feast on them and they became really defensive over their meat. It was another incredibly windy day, but very appreciated as it was blazing hot. The views had me stopping every half a mile to fully appreciate what was given to my perception. There were crimson red rock formations, waterfalls that appeared to be cascading from the Heavens, bundles of swaying pine trees and new land emerging out of the...

September 6, 2022

(X-rated) Most of us hikers cowboy camped overnight and woke up around 5:30am. As a group, we walked to the lodge to indulge in the $15 breakfast buffet. It was in that moment I understood how much hikers were driven by food. Once at the buffet, I commented how we all looked homeless in comparison to the people there. One of the group members sent a smile my way and said, "We are home free, not home less.” I had a feeling that was going to stick with me. After our feast, we got a ride to Two Medicine so we could get our permits for Glacier situated. We had approximately 100 miles left to...

September 5, 2022

(X-rated) MM 2859.7: Took the Kitchen Alternate to the highway. From there I hitched to Looking Glass Hostel in East Glacier. I felt as though I was in hiker heaven from the moment I arrived. The owners of the place completely trusted us hikers to pay at our own time. The options were to send them money via online payment or pay cash whenever we felt like it. They had trust for us because it was, we hikers, who kept the place running. I had been telling people the entire thru-hike how cool it would have been to run into a Lithuanian person because I missed connecting with my culture....

September 4, 2022

MM 2837.5: Surprised myself with a 6am start this morning, which was really late for me. It was difficult to get out of my cozy tent, yet once I got moving, I ended up walking more miles than yesterday. Walked up on Quadzilla around noon. I was so excited to see him since the last time we connected in person was last year on the coast. We sat on top of a hill beside the trail and caught up. He offered me a micro dose of acid. Then, he pulled out a family size pack of Oreos; I asked him to lick the frosting off for me. I rested my leg upon his, grazing my fingernails on his inner thigh…...

September 3, 2022

Spotted Bear Alternate: Early in the morning, I got a spectacular view of the Chinese Wall. The light casted a deep orange glow on the crown of the wall, giving it an audacious appearance. It was a hazey day—due to some nearby wildfires—causing the mountain ranges beside the wall to look even more endless and heavenly. Hiked over 30 miles today; felt super in the zone. I set up camp at Dean Lake and noticed myself feeling nervous. I went from camping with a big group of people to being completely alone the following night. I normally didn’t mind, yet the area I hiked through and camped at...

September 2, 2022

MM 2760.8: Yesterday, when I made it to Dan’s, I asked if he would be open to trade a macramé piece in place for me spending the night. I had the money, but ever since Hawaii, I felt inspired to get back into bartering. It felt more fun to me than giving or receiving money. I noticed he was a bit skeptical at first, as some people were when it came to bartering. But, by the next day he was asking to trade my salami for a ride back to the trailhead. I hung out with Info as he was getting his resupply situated. He said to me, “If you don’t eat an entire pack of gummy bears a day then what’s...

September 1, 2022

MM 2743.8: The moment I made it to the trailhead and got ready to put my thumb out to hitch a ride, the famous trail angel named Dan pulled up and asked if I wanted a ride into town. He dropped off several NOBO hikers and had me get in. He says, “I’ll give you a tour of Augusta. It’s about a four block long tour.” He had a great sense of humor and we hit it off right off the bat. When we arrived to Augusta, he took me to the post office to pick up my package that my trail angel sent me. He asked if I was hungry and I said yes, so he dropped me off at a bar in the center of town. As soon...

August 31, 2022

MM 2721.3: Today was rough. I wasn’t in the mood to hike, mostly because of the terrain. The section consisted of super vertical ascents and descents. I was also fully exposed to the sun since it was a burn area. I really thought it was going to be the first time I cried on trail due to frustration, but instead, I cursed out loud and pulled a temper tantrum. I hit my trekking poles on the dirt and yelled, “What the FUCK is this trail?!” I muttered to myself, “This is stupid” and trudged on. I looked up at the hills to get some peace of mind and tripped the second I took my eyes off trail....

August 30, 2022

MM 2694.6: Got picked up by a guy who was in the middle of a business call. He started hitting on me about 10 seconds after I got in the car, whilst still on the phone with a customer. He kept biting his lip and eye fucking me. He said he needed to drive a couple of minutes out of the way to his workplace to take care of some stuff. It seemed I still played the pattern of feeling as though I couldn’t just ask to be let out. When he parked into his lot, he causally whipped out a wad of cash and started counting hundred dollar bills in front of me. I rolled my eyes and thought to myself,...

August 29, 2022

MM 2617.3: I saw a bear!!! Well, actually, I saw two in the matter of one minute! The first one was a grizzly cub’s butt running away. I tried to get a better look at it by following it into the woods but had no luck. Afterwards, I saw a big black bear standing about ten feet in front of me. It promptly ran away, too. I was beginning to turn into a conspiracy theorist, similar to the “birds aren’t real” movement. Everyone around me was seeing bears except for me, so I started claiming that bears didn’t exist. And then, BAM! I always wondered how I would react upon seeing one and I was...

August 28, 2022

MM 2611.4: Saw Mr. Fab early in the morning, haven’t seen him since trail days in Silver City! Later on, I met a guy named Kansas Express who was in the middle of his Calendar Year Triple Crown! He said my bag was too big for a thru-hiker. I noticed a lot of people on trail concerned themselves with the size of my bag. Shortly after meeting him, I saw a sign in the middle of the dirt road that read, “Trail magic in the white van,” with an arrow pointed to the right. I could not whip the smile off my face. I thought it was funny how as kids we were taught not to speak to strangers, and...

August 26-27, 2022

MM 2583.6: Accidentally hitched to Anaconda. This wasn’t the first time I hitched the wrong way. I noticed 20 minutes into the ride and was like fuck it, guess I’m going to Anaconda and heading north from there. The funniest part was that I was sitting on the wrong side of the road with minimal traffic while the other side was cruising with cars. Regardless, I got picked up by a lovely lady named Tracy. She told me she often got mistaken as a lesbian due to her stubby build paired with her short hair and baggy clothes. We talked a lot about Jesus and of the ways He changed our lives. Once...

August 25, 2022 (Part 2)

Today, my close friend Aaron passed away. I met him last year when he picked me up hitchhiking after my completion of the Colorado Trail. He drove me all the way to Flagstaff and even took me on a detour through Sedona since I told him I had never been. I was left in tears from the beauty of the crimson rocks and scattered scent of pine needles. We kept in touch ever since that day. We wrote each other letters, had many phone calls and met up again before my CDT hike. He drove me all the way to the Mexico border and we listened to Wisdom Dialogues most of the way. It’s amazing how certain...

August 25, 2022

We woke up early and went off-roading down some windy dirt roads. We parked on a hilltop and hiked into the valley where he showed me his secret hunting spot. I watched as he set up his camera and camouflaged it with sticks and leaves. He planned to leave it there for a couple of days in hopes of snapping some wildlife. Afterwards, he drove me back towards the main highway. He asked if I told anyone that I went off into the middle of the wilderness with a strange man, knowing that I’d be without any service for a couple of days. I laughed and said no. He couldn’t believe how much I lived...

August 24, 2022

(X-rated) Mack’s Inn Alternate: Today, I experienced a deep sense of melancholy. A shift in the air, the leaves and grasses were beginning to build frost upon them. Autumn was approaching. I felt a sense of sadness for the trail coming to an apparent end for the year. My “plan” was to hopscotch to the border and head south as I pieced things together. From there, I was going to hitch back to Pinedale to revisit a hostel I was fond of. Then, I planned to hitch to the west to give hugs to my close friends whom I hadn’t seen in about a year. I wanted to hike one more trail in Oregon, hitch...

August 23, 2022

MM 1998: Last night, I lazily hung my food bag on the highest branch of a tree I could reach and woke up to it smack dab on the ground. Proof that there would be no way I would hear a bear in my camp. I spent the morning walking under the starlight. My feet were soaked wet with muddy swamp water for several hours, but I didn’t mind because I got to see geysers for the first time in my life! I had never even seen a photo before! I felt an insatiable desire for french toast today and made it my mission to get it. I hiked 16.6 miles into Old Faithful Village and made it 20 minutes before...

August 22, 2022

MM 1971.5: Decided for the rest of the CDT to do my favorite sections and finish the rest as it came. Regardless of being a natural introvert, I noticed how much of an impact people made on my journey. I didn’t mind hitching a few hours north or south just to walk back the same way I drove if it meant I could meet more people along the way. It was quite symbolic of how my mind worked and the way my inspiration flowed. I was not wired to follow the rules or go in a straight line. I guess on trail you could call me a “hopscotch connect the dots” kinda chick. I have also found the trail...

August 21, 2022

I had to shave my leg and armpit hair for my brother’s wedding and it was funny to find myself feeling embarrassed on trail when people saw me with shaven legs. I have been wearing knee high socks ever since. I definitely associated a lot of pride, comfort, confidence being hairy and when I took it away I felt naked, ugly and insecure. It seemed as if I didn’t feel like myself, but I knew deep down that wasn’t true. It had nothing to do with how I appeared. Took the Seneca Lake Trail 10 miles to Elkhart Park Trailhead. I started hiking at 4am to get a view of the stars reflecting upon the...

August 20, 2022

MM 1803: The Winds reminded me of the Sierra Nevada, almost identical. The only difference was the Winds had more bursts of green and less dust. Today, I felt called to experience a thunderstorm. I was walking up a pass and the clouds that were building revealed that it was a terrible idea. The moment the lighting struck, thunder followed within less than a second of hesitation. I jumped several times from the vibrations. Heavy rain started to follow and shortly after that, hail. I saw a guy coming down from the pass and we both shouted, “Ayyy!” He said, “I’m glad I wasn’t the only...

August 19, 2022

MM 1782: Last night, I made it into Lander and parted ways with Ricardo. In the morning, I woke up before sunrise and hitched toward Big Sandy Lodge. I got a ride to Lander Cutoff Rd. I didn’t expect to see a single car since the dirt road appeared to be in the middle of nowhere, yet a couple of guys pulled over before I even had time to set my bag down. They were two construction workers on their way to work in Pinedale, taking the scenic route. They dropped me off at a junction and shortly after two women on their way to the trailhead gave me a lift the rest of the way. When asked if I...

August 18, 2022

I came to the point where I felt uncomfortable staying in a fancy hotel for an entire week, so I woke up at 5am and decided to hitch a ride from Moab back to the CDT. I immediately got picked up by a cutie named Kyle. During the ride, I found out he was a forest ranger officer. He was super attractive. Tatted up, muscular, full beard. I begged him to show me his badge. Along with it, he lifted up his shirt to reveal the gun tucked into his pants. The way his six pack looked with a gun pressed upon it made the heat rise up my body. I instantly blushed and he said I was really smiley. Yup,...

August 10-17, 2022

I had a flight back to Chicago because my older brother was getting married. It was a red eye flight and I happened to be next to an elderly couple who needed help throughout the flight. The gentleman seemed to have a broken arm. He woke me up in the middle of the night, telling me he needed to go to the bathroom. I woke up fuzzy from sleep and stood up to give him some room. I gave him my hand to hold onto since he really struggled get up. Later, he dropped his phone on the floor and him and his wife were desperately trying to lean down and find it but had no luck. I woke up to turn on...

July 29, 2022

Hitched back down to Grand Lake, CO. Felt inspired to walk around town and check out the local stores. A guy picked a conversation with me when he saw me walking by, said he could tell I was a thru-hiker when he got a look at my calves. He invited me to his home to take a shower and spend the night. It was another rainy day so I was stoked for the offer! We met up in the plaza and I met some of his friends who were visiting. His friends drove us back to Granby and he showed me his spare room. He went to a concert, while I knocked out around 5pm. I woke up the next day in the early...

July 27-28, 2022

MM 1519.7: In the early afternoon, I got back on at Rabbit Ears Trailhead. I trekked in silence along the open ridges and plains. At one point, I took a detour to a campground and got offered trail magic by a lady named Barbara. She was making flies for fishing and invited me to sit with her at the picnic table. She offered me meat, cheese, crackers, fresh fruit and had me load up on water for the upcoming dry stretch. I continued on and saw a cute guy camped on the side of the road where I planned to spend the night. We got to talking and he offered to make me a fire, however I knew I...

July 26, 2022

MM 1387.7: A few days ago, I got back on at the Herman Gulch Trailhead. It was interesting to witness when I was in a state of love, how the entire world around me appeared to come alive. Everything became more bright, vivid and vibrant. People appeared to be smiling more, joy radiated from my inner surroundings and new beginnings were welcomed. A part of my mind experienced a sense of sadness around the perception of parting with my tramily. Our journey for the summer had ended and I was apparently missing them. The CDT welcomed me back with rain and cold weather, causing a feeling of...

July 23-24, 2022

I got back on the CDT and within a couple of days, BD had a change of mind about us. Over a phone call he explained, “Everything reminds me of you. All the signs are pointing toward you. Whether I see a pile of pinecones or the bright green moss on a tree. I even saw an “anti-surface shitter” sticker in town. I like you so much that I seem to disregard your poor LNT standards.” He said it only took him one day to realize how he didn’t have it all figured out with me. My heart sunk as his words penetrated me, “I can’t let you go. I just have to have you. Goda, I’m madly in love with you. I...

July 3, 2022

After the finale of the Lithuanian Polka Dance Festival, all the performers began singing Trys Milijonai while polka dancing with each other. The main dance instructor cried out of joy, the dancers were covered in sweat and tears and the lively energy of our community permeated the space. I reflected on the art of performance. The appearance of chaos occurring backstage as dancers rapidly changed out of their outfits and ran to their next performance, the constant yelling and shushing, but then the way we all came out on stage: smiles, quiet, perfect posture and ready to perform. Everyone...

June 30-July 2, 2022

We arrived to Philly and drove to the hotel that we planned to reside in for the weekend. When we walked in, the place was crowded to the rim with Lithuanian folk. I felt at home in that aspect, but out of place when I attempted to talk to people my age. It seemed as if no one wanted to talk to me and that I was perceived as an outcast for not drinking alcohol or wanting to converse about things I wasn’t interested in. I just kept to myself and ended up being a lot more introverted. I found myself reading my book or journaling every time we went out. Eventually, I met a man my age named...

June 27, 2022

As a child, I grew up being entertained through dance, music and charades. My Dad would play his accordion every season of the year, whether it was to express his happiness or to transmute his sadness. I’m so grateful that I got to receive such a magical gift of connecting through touch rather than through a computer screen for entertainment… and to be honest, now it takes a lot for me to be truly entertained. Movies, VR, Instagram and TikTok don’t do it for me. I crave a traditional lifestyle. I prefer the raw experience of life. I prefer the raw experience of a person. There is so much...

June 22-29, 2022

I got off the CDT for a couple of weeks because my mom told me she broke her leg and begged me to replace her spot in the Lithuanian Polka Dance Festival. She said she would make me an unlimited amount of her famous homemade pancakes and any other Lithuanian meals I craved. I felt overwhelmed as I thought it would interfere with my upcoming thru-hike of the JMT, but instead of jumping to conclusions, I took some space to meditate and felt where the guidance was taking me. It was clear it felt lighter to go back and help her. The change of direction felt exciting, as if there was something...

June 21-22, 2022

(x-rated) MM 1215.8: I came to camp and felt sad that Naked Hiking Day was coming to an end. I told myself I only had to put my pants on. I got cozy in my tent, pulled out my prayer book and at that moment a handsome thru-hiker came down from the pass. His name was Lemonhope. He had long and thick blonde, almost ginger, hair. Intuitive bright blue eyes, a full beard and a delicious body. I thought to myself how he just HAD to camp with me. I asked if he wanted to share a cinnamon roll with me. Tenaciously, he sat in front of me. I unzipped my tent and laid on my side as I rested my head...

June 21, 2022

Today was Naked Hiking Day, otherwise known as the day I came ALIVE! Michael and I saw Shotgun walking on the side of the HWY so we offered her a ride up to Copper to catch up to her friends. I knew she was going to become one of my besties when she casually stripped down in the middle of a parking lot and ate an edible. We sprayed sunscreen on one another and parted ways; she headed north, Michael and I headed south. The trail meandered through the Copper Mountain Ski area. We talked to the golfers, waved to the people on the ski lifts, and of course, the day hikers were my all time...

June 20, 2022

June 20 2022, MM 1164.5: Walked north from Twin Lakes up to Timberline Lake Trailhead. I stopped to take a break at the trailhead and met a girl named Shotgun who happened to be from my exact hometown. Same age, graduated the same year from the same high school and hung out with the same people. She also hiked the Pacific Crest Trail the same year as I did. She worked at REI with my closest friend and just recently quit to come hike the CDT. But we never crossed paths until now. 🤯 After that experience, I hiked down a dirt road that led toward Leadville. I cowboy camped amongst some pine...

June 19, 2022

Got picked up by a cutie named Michael who was in his late 30s and recently got out of prison. He told me stories about prison life and how his reality changed for the better when he got out. I brought up how I was excited for Naked Hiking Day and he asked if he could join me, so I said yes! In the forecast, it showed rain the rest of the day, so he invited me to cruise along with him instead. He took me out for Mexican food and we split a giant plate of steak fajitas. Afterwards, we shopped for some silky burgundy sheets and scented candles for his new place. We went to explore some...

June 18, 2022

Dave and I spent the day walking around the festival and checking out the vendors. We ate elk and rattlesnake sausages and had small talk with the island noodle guys. We walked to the river and checked out the Hooligan show. The way I saw it was basically an event where a bunch of 20-40 year olds built a boat, got drunk and tried getting over the rapids while catching an envelope of money in hopes of the boat not falling to bits. Near the end, it began pouring rain, so Dave and I ran through the festival grounds to find some cover. After 30 minutes of sitting under a roof, a black widow...

June 17, 2022

I accidentally walked onto a big event occurring in Salida called FIBArk so decided to stay for the weekend! I resided in a lovely travelers home called Simple Hostel and traded my macramé pieces for a couple nights stay. At the hostel, I met a cute Swiss-French man named Lucas. He joined me on a walk to Safeway to get some Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. On our way out of the store, I saw a group of security guards outside, so naturally, I hit on them. I brought attention to their handcuffs that hung off their waist and asked if they ever used them. They said no and I joked, “Let’s say I...

June 16, 2022

MM 1060.5: (x-rated) Hiked 10 miles to the HWY, hitched a ride into Salida and got a room at Browns Canyon Inn. Ate two medium pesto pizzas, a pint of fudge ice cream and still looked anorexic when I walked past the mirror. When night fell, it sounded nice to spend some time in the jacuzzi, so I used my buff as a top, paired it with my undies and dipped in. The scent of fallen pine needles on the boardwalk and warm white Christmas lights surrounded me as my muscles soaked in appreciation. I sat in solitude for about an hour until a couple of cuties walked through the side door of the...

June 14, 2022

MM 1008.3: I met some thru-hikers named Napoleon and Cuddles; we leapfrog’d each other throughout the day. Ran into a day hiker around noon and they suggested we get water before the upcoming section. A few minutes prior, I was telling Napoleon how if I were to hike the CT again, I would skip Cowshitopia because it was a long, exposed section with cow shit water from road puddles. I was trying so hard to avoid it that I walked myself directly into it. Funny how that works. So, I went though the “worst” of it today… all during the heat of the day in full exposure, drinking filtered cow...

June 12-13, 2022

MM 977.3: It was less than a year ago that I was in the very same spot, looking at the Colorado mountains I once summited. I thought about who I was and who I have been. A woman of my apparent past, now dead. I reflected on the slow process of self-love and inner strength revealed to me over time. Broken down to utter dust as I was shown how to re-build the courage to put one foot in front of the other. Through the mountains, I was humbled in ways I desperately resisted… silenced so I could listen. Early in the morning, I approached a lake surrounded by mountain ridges. The weight of...

June 11, 2022

MM 854.6: Flew to Durango in the early morning and hitched a ride down to Pagosa Springs. First man who picked me up was a man named Herbert who was part of the Ute Tribe. He wanted to let me know that if I saw eagles in my experience, it was a sign of protection. He also mentioned there has been a few Bigfoot spottings near Durango. He dropped me off a few miles from the airport and said, “May God bless you.” Second man who picked me up went by the name Eli. He was a miner in Silverton back in the 80’s and mentioned how he found 15k worth of gold which would now be the equivalent of...

June 3-7, 2022

After several days of being home, my father expressed to me that he was uncomfortable with my little brother coming along with me on the CDT. He was worried about the Colorado thunderstorms, the passes we had to climb over and the fact we had to hitchhike into towns. He admitted he felt as though he “lost” me since I veered down a much different path than he had planned for me and he was scared he would “lose” my little brother as well since he looked up to me the most. It was a bit upsetting at first since I viewed myself as an experienced hiker and I figured this would be a great...

May 30, 2022

The same guys gave me a ride back to the trail so I could finish up the small section of the basin I had left. I fell asleep in the car since it was extremely early in the morning and I woke up to a white blizzard. I hesitatingly got out of the warm car and put on my rain jacket and rain pants, which barely provided insulation. I laughed once again at my attempts to avoid the snow. Once I hiked to the HWY, I started to hitch toward Denver. I got picked up by two handsome hunters that were in their early twenties. They told me all about how they caught their own deer, elk and bear and the...

May 29, 2022

I had hiked around 35 miles and all I could think about was eating dinner and going to bed. I set up my tent in a very exposed area and the Wyoming wind was so fierce that the metal poles on my tent snapped in half, followed by my rain fly getting shredded. I saw how much I grew within that experience because first time thru-hiker me would’ve sat on my tush and cried while I hoped that the problem would somehow solve itself. But this time, without hesitation, I re-packed all of my items despite how tired I was. I knew a thunderstorm was on the horizon and I wasn’t interested in getting...

May 25-29, 2022

The Wyoming Basin: I enjoyed the remoteness the basin had to offer as it invited me to contemplate. I would find myself looking far off into the distance and I couldn’t see an end in sight. Wide open plains, no cars or people for days. Only me, the sagebrush covered hills and the snow capped mountains in the distance. The windy road walks felt like God took a paintbrush and playfully squiggled some lines onto a canvas, symbolic of how I felt about my path in this life: wavering, rocky, undefined, changeable, unable to see ahead, magical, open. I pondered, Why do we need all these cities,...

May 25, 2022

South Pass City, a lonely town that reminded me of the movie Hills Have Eyes. In truth, most of Wyoming had that feel to me. It was an eerie state full of interesting people. Started my moon and hung out at Atlantic City. The thru-hikers received a hiker breakfast that had the feel of a five-star cuisine exclusive for luxury guests. 😆 Afterwards, Ypsilon and I spent time talking on the porch while we shared double chocolate muffins and homemade oatmeal cookies. One of the guys that worked at the cabin was named Chris. By first glance, you would never expect him to be a mountain explorer....

May 20-24, 2022

Great Divide Alternate: Made it to Cumbress Pass and walked the green line most of the day. After several miles of road-walking, I started my hitch towards Denver. It was funny because my intention was to ditch the snow and I happened to get a ride through a snowstorm instead. 🤣 Spent the night in Golden at Mo’s house as I waited for the snow to melt. Him and his wife fed me homemade lasagna, pulled pork and triple chocolate chip brownies. At the end of the day, we had a mini tramily reunion and celebrated with pizza! Cool Trail Mom drove me to Rawlins, Wyoming so we spent some time...

May 19, 2022

MM 777.2: There were forest closures put in place due to the fires occurring in New Mexico/Colorado, but I was set on making it to the border so I pushed big miles. The altitude was getting to me, so near the end of the day Sledge fucked me on the side of the trail and I swallowed his cum for a little pick me up. (It helped immensely. 😋) The last few miles were the ultimate mental and physical test. There were so many blow downs to the point where I could no longer see the path. The snow also slowed me down immensely; the footsteps of those in front of me were either incorrect, half...

May 18, 2022

(x-rated): Scotty and I took off early in the morning. I got dropped off at the trailhead and relaxed into the state of New Mexico. I felt at home as the heat of the sun caused sweat to drip down my back; less than 100 miles left to the Colorado border!! After several miles of walking, I saw some hikers in the distance and one of the guys invitingly yelled “hi” across the lake. His voice deep and raspy, my knees became weak. All I knew was that I had to have him. We crossed paths later on and told me his name was Sledge. The other two in his group were Soccer Mom and Ponderosa. They...

May 15-17, 2022

I rode back to Chicago with Quinn for I had the intention of surprising my family for a moment. When I drove to pick my mom up from her rehearsal practice, I saw her walking out and felt a sense of gratitude come over me. To be able to receive the perception of my mother being apparently alive in this realm, able bodied and healthy reminded me to appreciate her in each moment, for everything was passing. I ran out of the car to kiss her and told her I came back just to give her a hug. She told me she was going to tie me up with ropes to a post so I stop pulling this shit. 😂 When we made...

May 14, 2022

(x-rated): Quinn, Lil’ Otter and I walked around to check out the vendors. Quinn bought a burrito that was too spicy which made her cry uncontrollably. Lil’ Otter and I pretended to be husband and wife and adopted Quinn as our make-believe daughter. He bought us a towel for later and we made comments about how grateful we were to have gotten a babysitter for our kids so we could finally have a night to ourselves. Went thrift shopping for something sparkly so I could wear it at the hiker parade. Found a sarong and some pom poms. Score. The parade was surreal and full of love, freedom and...

May 13, 2022

(x-rated): Enjoyed a free pancake breakfast with a friend. Then, I got a shuttle ride to receive a foot bath from some volunteers from church. They gifted the hikers freshly baked treats and handmade beanies. Met Darwin, the famous YouTuber. It felt like an honor to thank him in person for his videos. I’m personally not into YouTubers much, however he was one who caught my attention due to his humbleness and simplicity in getting his message across. He was a big reason I got inspired to put a pack on my back and head out into the wild and for that I will be eternally grateful. Played...

May 12, 2022

W.I.C. and I leapfrog’d for quite some time before we eventually decided to just hike together. She opened my mind up to some new perspectives as I did for her. She offered me relationship advice and reaffirmed for me to stand solid in my boundaries. She advised me not to carry the burden of the cross… of my mother, father, sister or friend. To let go of the weight… the weight of the expectations, responsibilities, obligations, guilt that was unconsciously given to me. And instead, to move where ever I was guided to go… to live my life as Goda/Freyja would have it. I felt so uplifted by...

May 11, 2022 (Part 2)

I started hiking north on the Appalachian trail out of Damascus, VA. I love hitchhiking and all but there’s nothing like being in the middle of the wilderness where I’m difficult to reach or hard to find. ✨🌿🧚🏼‍♀️ Hung out at a shelter my first night. I could see why people have such a close relationship to this trail. After climbing most of the day to walk upon hikers surrounded by a bonfire laughing, I forgot all about the difficulty of the hike. With your community, all the pain seems to dissipate, or you find common ground and are able to laugh about the struggle together. First guy...

May 11, 2022

Thoughts on seduction and dating: I woke up at sunrise to Kawa driving the truck. He heard me rustling and momentarily took his eyes off the road to send me a smile and say, “Come to me, babe.” I thought to myself, “This man is too good to be true.” And the thing is, he is. Like me, he knew the secrets of how to charm and put people under a spell. I could only count 3 men, including him, who knew how to seduce at my level. I do play games with men, I own that. At the same time, I love being played, otherwise I wouldn’t find myself in those experiences. I also find it cute when I give my...

May 10, 2022

(x-rated): I got picked up by a guy who reminded me of my dad. Simultaneously, I reminded him of his 23 year old daughter. He asked if the life I was living would be okay for his daughter to live since she seemed to be heading in the same direction. I said absolutely and suggested he give her the freedom to explore because traveling the world would teach her more than books ever could. Apparently, I was hitchhiking in the highest crime city in the U.S. (Memphis, TN). The guy who picked me up said I was playing russian roulette with my life. We hit it off really well and made plans to hike...

May 9, 2022

A truck driver picked me up out of the picnic area. As I opened the door, he asked if I had any weapons on me and I said, “No, and I’m also not a prostitute.” (Might as well just start saying that.) He was a short, chubby Mexican guy who just recently got out of prison. He told me how he grew up in a gang and how his son was currently in prison due to having chosen the gang lifestyle. I asked him if he killed anyone and he didn’t give me a solid answer. We cruised around for a few hours and he learned about my lifestyle and said, “I’m a gangster but YOU are an ACTUAL gaaangster.” I got...

May 7-8, 2022

Ghost Ranch Alternate: Walked through moss covered trees and snow melted creeks. This stretch of trail changed so rapidly that I thought I was already in the state of Colorado. There was quite a bit of snow and down trees but nothing like what I experienced on the PCT. I experienced a lot of congestion from the smoke coming from the wildfires. It felt as though it required all of my energy to hike even just a couple miles. I felt feverish the night prior and knocked out before 5pm. I woke up the following morning and still felt called to take it easy, so I got off on the nearest road and...

May 6, 2022

Wide awake, Grandpa Vince drove me in his four wheeler and dropped me off on the corner of Winslow AZ so I could start hitching towards the east coast. Fields of pines, gusts of winds and the scent of diesel brought up elation for my upcoming adventure. I thought about the things I admire in people. I’m not impressed by diamonds, shiny cars or fame. I’m impressed by authenticity, transparency and ones aptitude to be wild. I’ve always been drawn to older men and the common assumption I have received is that I got molested or that I had “daddy issues” growing up. People seem to want to put...

April 16, 2022

I got breakfast with Brendan so I could spend some time with him before I hitched out. I had an undercooked blueberry pancake while Brendan partook in some stuffed french toast. I lounged around Triple Crown Hostel as I worked on my book and spent some time with the new hikers. I ended up getting vortexed into Silver City again and didn’t hitch out. My friend Jezus called me out of the blue. He is the owner of Cinderland Ecovillage in Hawaii that I work-traded in for a few years. He heard I was hiking the CDT and expressed how it was his dream to thru-hike when he was my age but never...

April 15, 2022

(x-rated): Got off at Torreon Road on the CDT and decided why not hitchhike to Arizona and finish the AZT. Not even two minutes later I got a ride by a guy named Marcus who said he would take me all the way to the trailhead (8 hour drive) just because he felt like it. 🤯 He took me to Lotaburger and Wally World so I could buy some chocolate chip cookies. We heated them up on his dashboard as he showed me the artist Chris Stapleton. I fell in love with the tunes so he played the CD on repeat 3 times. I fell into a deep silence as we drove down windy roads up and over the mountain ridges. I...

April 11-15, 2022

MM 599.1: Hitched to Grants from the airport and got a ride by a sweet woman who drove me all the way back to Lava Flow Hostel. She reminded me of my manager’s wife. Same Greek accent, same face, same motherly energy. I often meet people that remind me of people from my hometown. It’s a reminder that my friends are with me in Spirit during my travels. ❤️ I ordered myself a pizza and the delivery boy gave me 6 paper plates. After I devoured the pizza, I went to pick up a trail magic box that Susie Q sent me. It was more than I could’ve asked for. Moments like this feel like Christmas for a...

April 11, 2022

Mahalo to my friends who helped me get through the experience with Pupa. I seriously feel as though I have the best friends in my hometown… and out of all places, Illinois. 😝 It just shows I’ll meet the right people, no matter where I’m at in the world. Quinn and I had a cappuccino at our old workplace. We received hugs and words of love/affection from the employees and managers who passed us by. I thought back to when I prayed for a job where I could greet my managers with hugs and let them know how much I love them. What a blessing to watch it turn into a reality. Quinn introduced me to...

April 9, 2022

I came back to Chicago for a couple of days to be there for Pupa’s passing on. The moment I came into the house and saw her, I sat on the floor and she slowly came up to me and nudged her snout into my thigh for several minutes. I could feel her saying, “Thank you. I love you.” She was known to be my baby. People often pointed out that we looked like sisters. She slept with me, we adventured together. She got me through my teenage years… she helped me through my heartbreaks, licked the tears off my face. We could barely keep ourselves together when the doctor arrived. I felt she knew what...

April 8, 2022

MM 525.1: I flashed a bunch of cars that drove by to add some excitement to our road walk. Adam said that when our time came to part ways, all that would be left is the “legend of Freyja”. I think it’s so cute how people assume I won’t ever see them again. I am a wanderer, but shit, if I had a good time I will most definitely see you again. We walked on the overpass and got a bunch of cars to honk for us; made us feel as though we already made it to Canada. 😂 A few miles before town, a sweet lady picked us up and told us of a homeless shelter nearby. Adam and I made eye contact with a...

April 6, 2022

Cebolla Alternate: The CDT is living up to its notorious reputation of road walking. So far, it feels as though at least 300 miles has been on the road. At least there are breathtaking views and it’s easy to push big miles. 🤷🏼‍♀️ We took a nap on a field of lava as our clothes dried in the sun. Afterwards, I spotted a cute couple in the distance and I yelled hi to them with an inviting smile. I think they thought I was going to ask them for food, but really I just wanted to make out. We met some day hikers at the La Ventana trailhead who looked excited to see us thru-hikers passing by....

April 4-5, 2022

MM 415.4: We made it to the Toaster House (free hiker hostel) and took a nero. I decided I would be getting off at Grants to fly back to Chicago and take a few days off trail to be there for Pupa’s passing on. The caretaker, Jefferson, let us do hiker laundry in the sink and had us air dry our clothes on the line. Such a neat place, filled with hiker memoir, quotes, photos, stickers and words of inspiration to keep us trekking on. We went to the Ohana Cafe and ordered two meals each. I was super pleased to meet the Hawaiian owner, Ngaire. We hit it off like best friends and indulged in...

April 2, 2022

MM 367.7: Last night I had service for a short moment and received a message from my mom letting me know our childhood dog is weak and is going to need to be put down. This morning I didn’t even make it a mile until I dropped my pack on the side of the trail, put my head in my hands and started crying. Adam showed up on trail, put his mat next to me so I could curl into his lap. I noticed a heavy feeling of guilt and regret arise. Feeling as though I didn’t do enough for her… I didn’t take her on enough adventures… I could’ve been kinder. She was a perfect angel, never asked for anything....

April 1, 2022

Gila Wilderness: Adam and I woke up at dawn to frozen shoes and socks. We immediately had to do several river crossings and I felt the needles poking at my skin as the chilled wind hit my legs. We walked through a movie like prairie covered in meadow marshes and lava rock. Shortly after, we started our road walk and I figured why not walk naked and get prepped for naked hiking day. 🤷🏼‍♀️ We stopped at MM 92 on the Gila River Alternate to take a break. Adam became gamesome and started wrestling me on the dirt road. We formed swirls of dust, laughing playfully as I fell onto the road. He...

March 31, 2022

Gila Wilderness: Today, we met up at a break spot and decided it would be fun to do a nude photoshoot with antlers and skulls that we found laying around the area. We intuitively decided to take the Lower Gila River Route because apparently we felt like getting our feet wet again. We camped extra early and spent time bathing in the river, doing laundry and getting a fire going to dry off. The fire has been teaching me that it is okay not to be seen, for in the silence am I truly witnessed in my depths. Maybe not in the way I think I would want to be, but in the way that I am truly...

March 30, 2022

Gila Wilderness: Today, we woke up and decided to actually follow the trail instead of summit a mountain. We road walked to Doc’s and it happened to be closed. We ran into some local women who offered us some weed and gave us directions to the owner’s house. They said he wouldn’t mind if we knocked on his door because he really caters to hikers and understands that sometimes their schedule doesn’t line up. As I was walking up to his house, he opened the door with a sweet smile and automatically started walking towards the store and told me to follow him, implying that it happened a lot....

March 29, 2022

Gila Wilderness: Today, Adam and I had a little out of the way detour adventure. We woke up and started hiking at 5am with the intention of getting to Doc Campbell’s Post. Somewhere along the line we got lost and must’ve missed a river crossing because we started following a totally different river. We had to get to the other side of the mountain so we both said “fuck it” and decided it would be best to climb up and over it. I should have known better that it was NOT a shortcut. We were heading straight up the mountain for hours, bushwhacking and eating shit several times. It has been a...

March 28, 2022

Gila Wilderness: I woke up to Adam cracking sticks to get a morning fire going for us. There is nothing like the scent of a campfire to get you motivated for a full day of hiking. 🔥👣 It was quite hilarious to see the relationship that Fudge Packer and I formed. We met at the hostel and hung out in town together. We were naturally super open talking about our life experiences, sexual turn ons, spirituality/religion, politics, etc… and we realized that we are both on opposite sides of the spectrum. The conversation ended with us both expressing our attraction for one another but recognizing...

March 27, 2022

End of Silver City, Beginning of Gila Wilderness: I went to hang out at Tranquilbuzz to catch up on my travel blog, but ended up running into friends instead! I loved the energy of Silver City because I could simply smile at people and they would take it as an opportunity to pull out a chair and have a conversation with me. I ran into Taylor and felt I was meant to spend some time with her instead of work on my blog and we ended up having the most lovely girl time over a cup of coffee. We exchanged “I love you”’s and I made my way back to the hostel to start packing. Brendan dropped me...

March 26, 2022

This morning, Dale and I met up with Adam to have breakfast at Adobe Springs. As we were walking into the restaurant I saw two sheriff cars parked out front and I squeezed Dale’s arm and yelled, “oh my god!!!” I started laughing at the way it seemed the Universe was playing with me. The hostess sat us right next to them and I go, “you have got to be fucking kidding me”. Dale had the audacity to ask one of the sheriff’s to give me directions on how to get back on trail. The sheriff stood in front of me with his thumbs tucked into his waist strap, his bulletproof vest expanded his chest. My...

March 25, 2022 (Part 2)

I got dropped off at Triple Crown Hostel and the owner of the place, Brendan, gave me a tour. It was truly a hiker’s dream with exceptional pricing. I asked if I could be naked in the hot tub and he said I could do whatever I wanted so that was an automatic win. He sat down to have coffee with me and a fellow traveler named Dale came out to join. He had a deep voice, a long beard and had an aura of masculinity. He said how he loved that I had a sense of humor with the situation about the cop. I must say, I have come a long way with this perception. It is funny to me (most of the time),...

March 25, 2022

A cop picked me up on the side of the road as I was walking HWY 180 towards Silver City. As soon as he stepped out of the car, I got flustered when I saw him in his uniform with a gun strapped around his waist. I actually had to pull myself together as to not get distracted by his uniform. I swear, it puts a spell on me. I kept wanting to obey his demands and call him “sir” and “officer” with a sexual undertone, but unfortunately he wasn’t my type. He let me sit in the front seat and I rubbed my hands together to warm up. He placed his hand on my upper thigh and told me I had goosebumps...

March 24, 2022

MM 143.5: Today, I cried from the beauty and tranquility I felt within me yet perceived outside of me. For a moment I felt as though I was cheating on the PCT with the CDT. Your first thru-hike feels like your first relationship that you never really got over. It took some letting go in my mind to hike a new long distance trail. I have a strong pull towards the west coast, but I have to focus on new dreams I feel called to accomplish, such as completing my triple crown before I turn 30. 💪🏼 I felt super dehydrated today. It was a super long water carry and last night I realized I brought...

March 23, 2022

MM 120.5 The terrain changed drastically after Lordsburg. I started to enter rolling hills with a mixture of sand, cacti, pine trees and snow. I also hit MM 100!!! 🎉🎊🥳 It felt much easier compared to the CT and PCT. Not easier perse, just a better idea of knowing what kind of physical pain to expect by that time. I got some gnarly blisters on my toes. I smile when I look at them because I think of my friend Orange Man. We had the same start date on the PCT and he hiked hundreds of miles with me. One day I broke down in the desert from the apparent pain I was experiencing. He held space...

March 22, 2022

MM 98.1: Yesterday, I spent the night in Lordsburg since it was still raining from last night’s windstorm. I was paying for my takeout burger when Adam tapped on my shoulder to surprise me! He tried catching up to me yesterday and we were both momentarily bummed out that we didn’t get each other’s numbers. I told him it would’ve been nice to split a room, but we both already got one. ~By the way, yes, that is how comfortable people are right off the bat. Time is the trippiest thing out here. You meet people and you feel as though you have been friends for years. It is not uncommon for...

March 20, 2022

MM 75.5: Met a guy named ‘Camel’ who thru-hiked the Pct in 2018. I had to tone down my excitement from seeing another hiker. It’s sort of nice not seeing people for several days because when you do, you are so grateful. It often feels like I’m on this mission alone and I go through these feats every day so when I see someone it’s a reminder that there is always someone not far away. Someone could be camped 500 feet away from you and you wouldn’t even know it! Shortly after, I ran into Adam and Buck next to the water cache. God bless backpacker men, they are so gorgeous to me. It’s as...

March 19, 2022 (Part 2)

One of my friends told me he wishes I never lose the joy I experience when I look at the world with child’s eyes. I get so excited when I look at the mountains, a deer, the sunset. He told me that he lost sight of the beauty and doesn’t know if he’ll ever get it back. It is easy for me to view the world with such eyes the more I simplify my life. The less stuff I have, the less I’m on my phone, the less I’m watching TV. Movies interest me here and there, but now I just watch them for inspiration. I can see how today’s generation has a hard time viewing the world with such excitement, for...

March 19, 2022

MM 54.6: Today, the idea of courage was on my mind. It’s funny the things we humans look up to each other for. For many people, they find the things I seem to do courageous. Yet in my experience, I find people who aren’t afraid to be in a committed relationship courageous. I don’t seem to have the courage to hold a long-term relationship at this moment in time. I have the will power to walk marathons every day for months but relationships? God no. I associate being single as being truly happy and free. Deep down I know I can be happy in whatever circumstance, yet I seem to experience this...

March 18, 2022

MM 32.5: Walking through the desert reminded me of my first days on the PCT in Southern Cali. Except here, I experienced a true sense of remoteness. I looked around to see an abyss of hills, barbed wire fences surrounded by cacti and sage brush dispersed throughout the sand. I got a clear sense there was no one close to me, except for some cows! 😝 Got to HWY 81 and there was a water cache with 25+ gallons of water. I did a happy dance and took a siesta as I replenished myself with water and Reese’s. Ran into Dog Dad again as I was packing up my stuff. He asked if I needed anything. Such a...

March 17, 2022

MM 18: Met a guy named ‘Dog Dad’. He resides near the trail and told me where I could find some trail magic (food and a water cache). He let me know that it’s best that I’m getting this section out of the way because it is the worst part. He said I’ll basically be walking through the heat of the desert through unenjoyable terrain until I get about 10 miles past Lordsburg. It actually made me super excited to hear because I LOVE it so far. The desert is one of my favorite elements to be in since I’m naturally cold. I love witnessing the diversity of perceptions on trail. What makes one...

March 16, 2022 (Part 2)

MM 0: Last minute, Spirit led me to backpack the Continental Divide Trail instead of the PCT! This is going to be the toughest hike I have done yet. I am starting in Mexico and will be walking through New Mexico, Colorado, Wyoming, Idaho, Montana and will be ending in Canada!! A quarter way through, I will be hitchhiking to CA to thru-hike the John Muir Trail with my tramily beginning of July, totaling over 3,300 miles this summer!!!! 🤯 On my way to the CDT monument, I felt the same nervousness arise when I started my first thru-hike, except this time a little more so as I felt as though...

March 16, 2022

Aaron and I picked up a super lovely hitchhiker who was walking along the side of HWY 81. His name was Chris and he greeted us with a pearly white smile. The feeling of his dry rough skin shaking my hand had me convinced he was parched from the desert sun, yet he expressed his love for walking in the heat. We supplied him with water, chocolate and tuna. He was a sweetheart, probably the kindest hitchhiker I have met so far. We dropped him off at the food mart in Hachita. With gratitude, he threw on his backpack, grabbed his hand carved hiking stick and continued his hitch towards San...