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Some eye-opening things I experienced after deciding to not be vegan anymore:
-After preaching something for so long, I eventually came to the realization that it’s only a “belief”. I realized that it’s silly to act as if I “know” something as if it’s true… in reality we don’t really “know” anything, & truly experiencing that realization was really humbling.
-I didn’t like who I became (in my own experience). I found myself disgusted by anyone who sat next to me & ate meat, I would lecture my family, I even told my best friend of several years that I no longer wanted to be friends with her cause she wasn’t vegan.
-I genuinely enjoyed my journey with veganism. I got to experiment with making different foods, however, there was a long period of time towards the end where I could feel it was no longer what my heart wanted. Yet, I found myself scared of what people would think if I “went back”. (Everyone was suuuper supportive which made the transition much easier.)
-I experienced a lot of moments where I tasted my own medicine. I had situations where people looked at me differently or would hold a grudge against me because I wasn’t vegan. That made me feel out of place or like I couldn’t talk about the subject of food otherwise I’d be stepping on people’s toes.
-If you’re going to follow a certain path, make sure that your intentions are clear. If you’re not doing it out of unconditional love, then you’re missing the point. Let your spirit guide you!
-From the book ACIM, it talks about a Holy Instant. A miracle can happen in an instant if you are just a little bit willing. In this case, I had a very strong belief about veganism & I was experiencing unhealthy patterns & I remember moments where I would break down crying because I felt SUCH a strong attachment to the belief… so much so that I felt identified with it & was scared to let it go. I specifically remember a moment with my ex. I gave him an ultimatum that if he ate any meat or dairy I would break up with him. A few months later, I found out he ate a piece of fish & I had a meltdown. I couldn’t understand how he wasn’t seeing it from my POV & I just bawled my eyes out & hyperventilated. I remember telling him out loud “one day, I’m going to laugh about this. I can feel it & I know it’s coming. But right now, it hurts.” To some, this might sound “over-dramatic”, but it just comes down to having a strong belief, & when that belief is challenged, it feels like your world is falling apart & you are being threatened. So, I remember experiencing that Holy Instant when I was at Hope’s wisdom dialogues in Hawaii. I can’t explain exactly what happened, it was more-so an understanding. I just remember experiencing this intense shift & I was able to FEEL how nothing is really happening & that it IS all an illusion. I remember crying for a moment because it did feel like an ego death, but I felt as if I was seeing with new eyes. Now, a few years later, I still see with those same eyes & I experience a new compassion for people who seem to be holding onto their own belief system so dearly. I can smile about it lightly & witness how it IS all so innocent.