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Cebolla Alternate: The CDT is living up to its notorious reputation of road walking. So far, it feels as though at least 300 miles has been on the road. At least there are breathtaking views and it’s easy to push big miles. 🤷🏼‍♀️
We took a nap on a field of lava as our clothes dried in the sun. Afterwards, I spotted a cute couple in the distance and I yelled hi to them with an inviting smile. I think they thought I was going to ask them for food, but really I just wanted to make out.
We met some day hikers at the La Ventana trailhead who looked excited to see us thru-hikers passing by. They asked if we needed anything and we said we would be grateful if they had any extra water. They had over 5 gallons and let us fill all of our bottles. They handed us a bag of snacks and asked if they could take a photo of us. ❤️
Adam wanted to check out a scenic view so we hopped a gate and walked upon a field of cacti and sagebrush with sheer cliff walls rising from the ground beneath us. We stealth camped in the valley as the desert winds made the tent ripple in waves. This was going to be our last night together for some time. He made a fire, I read my book, we shared our freeze dried food and I was shown how to make pine needle tea! 🌲☕️
He asked who hurt me so much that I didn’t want to be in a romantic relationship for several years. Stories circled my mind… I experienced the perception of “giving up” on men due to apparent emotional pain in the past, but in truth I knew no one “out there” had the authority to hurt me. If anything, I was giving my power away to someone else. After hurting myself over and over again, I eventually learned to set standards/boundaries for myself, including friendships, not just romantic relationships.
He asked if I met his requirements and I said no, but it didn’t mean he wouldn’t be absolutely perfect for someone else. He asked what the apparent red flags were that I perceived in him. I’m not one to point out things I don’t vibe with in a person, instead I just sort of drift out of their field of experience, but I did open up to him.
I told him that I was only in it for the sex and in hindsight, I would like to take that back. It’s not “just” the sex. It’s all of it. The deep talks, massages, dances, tears, laughter… seduction and intimacy comes in many forms and I love it all.
I also trust that you meet the “right” people once you allow yourself to be as you are authentically. For instance, most men wouldn’t think a girl would like dirty hikers who don’t shower, but that is 100% what I prefer over anything else. I’m not into the pristine, clean, pretty boy type. What one person finds gross/unacceptable could be an ultimate turn on for someone else. 🤷🏼‍♀️
Something I also want to work on is feeling the boundaries of those around me. I find I am naturally very flirtatious, cuddly and kissy, so if someone expresses they have feelings for me, I feel it would be best for me to distance myself and not lead them on any further if my intentions are different from theirs. Even though sex appears natural to me, a lot of people aren’t able to be nonchalant about it and that’s something I want to learn to respect. Livin’ and learnin’ through these experiences.