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Rincon Mountain Wilderness to Molino Basin Campground: I didn’t take any photos of the 15+ mile trek to Tuscon as I was concentrated on not dying from heat exhaustion. At one point I saw the same footprints as mine and I was like, “Am I dead? Is this me watching my own footsteps thinking I’m still alive?” Immense gratitude overtook me when I came upon a water cache near the HWY. ❤️
My friend Joel picked me up at my favorite store (Safeway) and hosted me for the night. We met last year when he picked me up hitchhiking and we became pretty close friends. I was curious to see if he was still celibate and on his path with God and turns out he’s been going on 3 years now.
He took me out for Thai and then Wally World to buy some candy and popcorn. He stated how he felt a primal instinct around me, as though there was a lust spirit surrounding me. He had the urge to grab me around the throat and kiss me. I smiled and asked him not to tease me if he wasn’t going to do anything about it. He told me I was very skilled in the art of seduction and followed it with, “You know exactly what you’re doing and that’s what I love about you.” Oh, the games people play…
When we made it to his place, he felt he could control himself, so he cuddled next to me on the couch. However, our lips now only centimeters apart, we started kissing… and then hair pulling and then grinding. With a deep voice he told me, “I don’t care how many dicks your mouth has sucked. You are all mine now.” Probably one of the hottest things I’ve heard. A man who isn’t intimidated by my past but rather turned on is rare to find. I felt him getting hard on my lower thigh and so I hesitantly pulled myself together. “I can’t do this… I know you will regret it,” I said. I knew how important it was for him to be celibate and focus on God and I know I just wanted to tempt, seduce and fuck. Two different frequencies.
We distanced ourselves and decided to watch The Office. I raised my eyebrows and teasingly flashed my breasts at him for one last hoora. He growled and pounced on me as he dug his fingertips into my waist and started biting my neck, getting his payback. He quickly got off, put his hands in prayer and yelled, “Help me, Jesus!!” 😂 It all ended in laughter at the perception of us being two horny fucks unable to control ourselves.
I still feel that sex itself is nothing and that we attach meaning to it. We give power to things in the world and then use those things to justify our happiness/sadness. I am aware I do that with sex and I love that about myself because I know it can’t touch who I really Am. I get so many opportunities to remind myself that I can just be there in the moment of playtime and take a closer look at what I’m using it for. For the most part, it is fun for me and I feel very inspired towards it as it seems to invoke poetry in me. Still, I know it is meaningless. Same goes with celibacy. I love being celibate just as much as I love having sex. Both things in the world inspire me, just in different ways. As long as I’m laughing and having fun, I know I’m on the right track! ❤️
The next morning, Joel drove me back up Mt Lemmon. He told me to try some boiled peanuts when I made it to Alabama. He did a prayer for me as he dropped me off on the side of the HWY and I trekked a few miles SOBO.