MM 2694.6: Got picked up by a guy who was in the middle of a business call. He started hitting on me about 10 seconds after I got in the car, whilst still on the phone with a customer. He kept biting his lip and eye fucking me. He said he needed to drive a couple of minutes out of the way to his workplace to take care of some stuff. It seemed I still played the pattern of feeling as though I couldn’t just ask to be let out.
When he parked into his lot, he causally whipped out a wad of cash and started counting hundred dollar bills in front of me. I rolled my eyes and thought to myself, He’s got the wrong broad if he thinks this would work on me. He stepped out of the car and told me it would just be a couple of minutes. He said, “I promise to drive you all the way to your destination just because I find you cute.” He shut the door and I found myself fuming with anger. I prayed for courage to speak up or at least get my body moving. I’ve been in that sort of energy pattern quite often and most of the experiences were not through hitchhiking. I also noticed that any time I would start taking something seriously, such as making someone out to be a predator, I would find myself freezing up. I would find myself feeling separate and unable to communicate from a place of love.
He got back in the car and I took a video of myself talking. I guess I felt it would give me courage to speak up, and it did. It was fun rewatching it, because I realized what a superpower I had to remain so kind and calm in situations where I felt attacked or objectified. As I watched the video, all I could think was, “Wow.” It was not at all how I felt. I could have fooled myself. Beneath the soft voice and kind smile, I was deeply pissed off and annoyed. As he was dropping me off, he told me how he simply saw that I was happy and smiling at life and that it felt nice to see that on a pretty face.
I stood at the roundabout again and got picked up by a super cute guy who was on the phone with his friend. He said to him, “Gotta go, hot hitchhiker.” I thought to myself, Oh, the irony. That was the moment the Universe revealed to me what a joke it all was. It was as though if I found the person hitting on me to be attractive, then it was sexy and I called it flirting. If I didn’t find them attractive, then I felt attacked and it was considered creepy and he was a predator.
The feelings of anger I had quickly dissipated into laughter. The guy who picked me up was named Joe and he drove me all the way to Lincoln. We bought some burgers at the Lincoln Pit Stop and decided to hang out for a bit.
We sat in the restaurant and started talking about antlers. He told me they were often ground up and used as aphrodisiacs in certain places, which was a big surprise to me! I told him the story of when I took an aphrodisiac in Alaska a few weeks ago and how I had to sit outside and take a breather because I felt as though I was having an orgasm just from sitting. As I was telling him the story, I motioned through the movements of what it felt like having the orgasmic energy move throughout my body. I tilted my head back and released a moan. Then, I casually had a sip of my Dr. Pepper and said, “Yeah, that was fun.” I found it humorous to watch his nervousness unfold after putting that visual in his head.
Joe asked if I wanted to hang out at the park with him across the street, so I said yes. He asked me about his life and felt completely fascinated by me. He was happy that I got out of the corporate life and “figured it out.” Cute, I thought. He said he had to leave to go take care of some stuff and offered me a ride to Rogers Pass when he was done. I asked if he could just hold onto my backpack and I would just journal in the park until he came back.
He came back way faster than he said he would. I got into his car and became super flirtatious with him. I embodied a little girl, showing him I was restless and needed his attention. He smiled profusely and said how I was asking an awful lot of questions. I put the seatbelt behind me because it felt too tight. I looked in his backseat, told him he needed to clean his mug. I took a hi chew without asking him and ate it. I asked him what certain gadgets on his car did. He stopped me in my tracks and asked if I did this with all the police men that picked me up, in which I said, “Of course.” I looked at his dirty work gloves and I pondered out loud, “Mm, if only your hands were this dirty…” He goes, “What? What did you say??” I blushed and started giggling, “You know, the number one thing I look for in a guy is his hands. If I don’t like his hands, I can’t move forward.” I saw him glance at his hand from the corner of his eye. I grabbed it gently, tracing my fingertips on his palm, “…and I reallllyyy love your hands.”
I gave his hand back and let out a slight wimper, implying how sad it was that I couldn’t feel his hands upon my body. He goes, “You must cause a lottt of trouble on the trail.” I smiled and said, “Only a little.” He said if he didn’t have a wife or kids that he would be acting totally differently. I could tell if we had an extra hour together, he would have caved.
I got on at Rogers pass and walked a few miles up and over the ridges. At one point, a grasshopper flew into my third eye. I made it to camp and fell asleep to the sound of wolves howling to each other across the mountain ranges, their calls echoing throughout the valleys.
When he parked into his lot, he causally whipped out a wad of cash and started counting hundred dollar bills in front of me. I rolled my eyes and thought to myself, He’s got the wrong broad if he thinks this would work on me. He stepped out of the car and told me it would just be a couple of minutes. He said, “I promise to drive you all the way to your destination just because I find you cute.” He shut the door and I found myself fuming with anger. I prayed for courage to speak up or at least get my body moving. I’ve been in that sort of energy pattern quite often and most of the experiences were not through hitchhiking. I also noticed that any time I would start taking something seriously, such as making someone out to be a predator, I would find myself freezing up. I would find myself feeling separate and unable to communicate from a place of love.
He got back in the car and I took a video of myself talking. I guess I felt it would give me courage to speak up, and it did. It was fun rewatching it, because I realized what a superpower I had to remain so kind and calm in situations where I felt attacked or objectified. As I watched the video, all I could think was, “Wow.” It was not at all how I felt. I could have fooled myself. Beneath the soft voice and kind smile, I was deeply pissed off and annoyed. As he was dropping me off, he told me how he simply saw that I was happy and smiling at life and that it felt nice to see that on a pretty face.
I stood at the roundabout again and got picked up by a super cute guy who was on the phone with his friend. He said to him, “Gotta go, hot hitchhiker.” I thought to myself, Oh, the irony. That was the moment the Universe revealed to me what a joke it all was. It was as though if I found the person hitting on me to be attractive, then it was sexy and I called it flirting. If I didn’t find them attractive, then I felt attacked and it was considered creepy and he was a predator.
The feelings of anger I had quickly dissipated into laughter. The guy who picked me up was named Joe and he drove me all the way to Lincoln. We bought some burgers at the Lincoln Pit Stop and decided to hang out for a bit.
We sat in the restaurant and started talking about antlers. He told me they were often ground up and used as aphrodisiacs in certain places, which was a big surprise to me! I told him the story of when I took an aphrodisiac in Alaska a few weeks ago and how I had to sit outside and take a breather because I felt as though I was having an orgasm just from sitting. As I was telling him the story, I motioned through the movements of what it felt like having the orgasmic energy move throughout my body. I tilted my head back and released a moan. Then, I casually had a sip of my Dr. Pepper and said, “Yeah, that was fun.” I found it humorous to watch his nervousness unfold after putting that visual in his head.
Joe asked if I wanted to hang out at the park with him across the street, so I said yes. He asked me about his life and felt completely fascinated by me. He was happy that I got out of the corporate life and “figured it out.” Cute, I thought. He said he had to leave to go take care of some stuff and offered me a ride to Rogers Pass when he was done. I asked if he could just hold onto my backpack and I would just journal in the park until he came back.
He came back way faster than he said he would. I got into his car and became super flirtatious with him. I embodied a little girl, showing him I was restless and needed his attention. He smiled profusely and said how I was asking an awful lot of questions. I put the seatbelt behind me because it felt too tight. I looked in his backseat, told him he needed to clean his mug. I took a hi chew without asking him and ate it. I asked him what certain gadgets on his car did. He stopped me in my tracks and asked if I did this with all the police men that picked me up, in which I said, “Of course.” I looked at his dirty work gloves and I pondered out loud, “Mm, if only your hands were this dirty…” He goes, “What? What did you say??” I blushed and started giggling, “You know, the number one thing I look for in a guy is his hands. If I don’t like his hands, I can’t move forward.” I saw him glance at his hand from the corner of his eye. I grabbed it gently, tracing my fingertips on his palm, “…and I reallllyyy love your hands.”
I gave his hand back and let out a slight wimper, implying how sad it was that I couldn’t feel his hands upon my body. He goes, “You must cause a lottt of trouble on the trail.” I smiled and said, “Only a little.” He said if he didn’t have a wife or kids that he would be acting totally differently. I could tell if we had an extra hour together, he would have caved.
I got on at Rogers pass and walked a few miles up and over the ridges. At one point, a grasshopper flew into my third eye. I made it to camp and fell asleep to the sound of wolves howling to each other across the mountain ranges, their calls echoing throughout the valleys.
