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Some people have been apparently sending screenshots of my blog posts to my family. That sort of thing had been occurring for years now, so I couldn’t say I was too surprised.
I spoke to my Dad over a phone call and I was very honest with how I felt. I expressed how he could either choose to accept me or be angry at me for not turning out the way he thought he wanted me to be.
In his perception, he viewed me as being a homeless prostitute. I took offense because I didn’t feel attracted to having sex with men for money. I simply had a high sex drive and was picky about the people I chose to sleep with. I made a comment about how if I was a man in the situation, he would be reacting in a different way. He agreed. That was when I realized the conversation wasn’t going anywhere.
He said he just wanted me to get married, have kids and live in a house. His idea of stability, not mine. It also appeared that he found his reputation more important than my happiness. I felt so alone. I wondered if anyone out there had felt the way I did.
I genuinely loved the life I had apparently chosen, but I often found I didn’t have anyone to relate with. I was almost 30 and chose to live out of my backpack. I had no desire to have a home. I had no desire to get married or have kids. This was what I signed up for and part of that meant feeling like a lone wolf.