We woke up early and went off-roading down some windy dirt roads. We parked on a hilltop and hiked into the valley where he showed me his secret hunting spot. I watched as he set up his camera and camouflaged it with sticks and leaves. He planned to leave it there for a couple of days in hopes of snapping some wildlife.
Afterwards, he drove me back towards the main highway. He asked if I told anyone that I went off into the middle of the wilderness with a strange man, knowing that I’d be without any service for a couple of days. I laughed and said no. He couldn’t believe how much I lived in a state of trust, just as much as I couldn’t believe how he didn’t. He felt a sense of jealousy and regret for not making similar lifestyle choices for himself—a path more down the road of travel and spontaneity. I let him know it was meaningless to be in a state of regret and it was only a thought that tried to hook him. It seemed the ego was never satisfied, in one way or another.
We made it to town and he parked the car in a gas station. I could feel his struggle to release me as he claimed he wasn’t good at goodbyes. I told him in Hawaii we say “a hui hou”, which translated to “until we meet again.” He attempted a smile, though his eyes held a state of sorrow. I felt he was spinning, conflicted by his own emotions and unable to decipher what he was feeling. He said I was a siren who intoxicated him with my energy, making him fall under the seductive spell of temptation. He took a breath, “I don’t know why or how but I’m going to miss you.” I leaned in to hold him in my arms, expressing with my energy that I was always with him in Spirit. I never even knew his name.
Shortly after parting ways, I got picked up by a FedEx guy. I cruised with him as he did his round of package deliveries. He had a story made up for every person’s house we went to. “This is Lena. She wears pajamas past noon and her dog is a bitch.” We drove around for a couple of hours. He said he was envious of my life and that, in his perception, I was like a grown up child. That I woke up every morning and thought to myself, What sounds like fun to me today? and I could just do it. I reminded him that he had the same freedom for himself, it was just more covered up in thought. It seemed as though people have forgotten that they could choose the same for themselves and live the life they so desired. Yet, it often seemed as though they would rather keep it a fantasy, which was okay, too.
Afterwards, he drove me back towards the main highway. He asked if I told anyone that I went off into the middle of the wilderness with a strange man, knowing that I’d be without any service for a couple of days. I laughed and said no. He couldn’t believe how much I lived in a state of trust, just as much as I couldn’t believe how he didn’t. He felt a sense of jealousy and regret for not making similar lifestyle choices for himself—a path more down the road of travel and spontaneity. I let him know it was meaningless to be in a state of regret and it was only a thought that tried to hook him. It seemed the ego was never satisfied, in one way or another.
We made it to town and he parked the car in a gas station. I could feel his struggle to release me as he claimed he wasn’t good at goodbyes. I told him in Hawaii we say “a hui hou”, which translated to “until we meet again.” He attempted a smile, though his eyes held a state of sorrow. I felt he was spinning, conflicted by his own emotions and unable to decipher what he was feeling. He said I was a siren who intoxicated him with my energy, making him fall under the seductive spell of temptation. He took a breath, “I don’t know why or how but I’m going to miss you.” I leaned in to hold him in my arms, expressing with my energy that I was always with him in Spirit. I never even knew his name.
Shortly after parting ways, I got picked up by a FedEx guy. I cruised with him as he did his round of package deliveries. He had a story made up for every person’s house we went to. “This is Lena. She wears pajamas past noon and her dog is a bitch.” We drove around for a couple of hours. He said he was envious of my life and that, in his perception, I was like a grown up child. That I woke up every morning and thought to myself, What sounds like fun to me today? and I could just do it. I reminded him that he had the same freedom for himself, it was just more covered up in thought. It seemed as though people have forgotten that they could choose the same for themselves and live the life they so desired. Yet, it often seemed as though they would rather keep it a fantasy, which was okay, too.
