Hitchhiking to Wyoming, Driving Force of Love, Marrying for Money and Appreciating the Perception of Differences
As I looked out beyond, I saw windmills in the open fields and rolling hills with brush at the base of them. I felt extra protected by my angels today, or more sure of their presence I should say. I knew in my heart I would make it home safely because the only driving force going back to Chicago was seeing the smile on my mom’s face. That’s all I could think about.
Breakfast with Thru-hikers at Hood River, Following My Own Rhythm and Concrete Beliefs Vanishing
I loved seeing everyone’s faces and hiker trash appearance. Most of all, I loved having arrived there on my own, meaning being on the road in solitude again. I loved that I was walking with the sound of my own footsteps and meeting people at my own rhythm. I wondered to myself if I would (truthfully) ever be able to let a man in my life again. Just the thought of the idea right at that moment seemed to bring about some very intense anxiety. I told myself I didn’t have to worry about that right now, then let the thought go and gave thanks for being surrounded with my hiker community. I gave thanks for the medicine of laughter and the way sharing stories of our passion for the mountains made our hearts lift.
Sucking on a Lollipop and Watching Hiker Trash, Hot French Dude Unable to Pronounce the Word ‘Vanilla’ and Alcohol Masking Perception of Guilt
Although it was a fun experience for me, I noticed how there was an underlying sense of loneliness. Yeah, it was easy for me to be alone and I loved it, but I saw how much I resisted the idea of letting people anywhere close to my mind/heart. Especially if I was strictly having sex with someone and they gave me the vibe they wanted to get to know me more, I found I would start to feel grossed out. I would completely pull away and distance myself from them. I knew it was just fear and a subconscious way of closing off my heart, but sometimes I wished I could just tear down those walls I built.
Breadcrumbs No Longer Fulfilling Me, Handstands with Piper on Thunder Island, Temporary Tattoo, Predator Disguised as Prey
I turned around, got on my knees and removed the condom as I dripped the cum back onto his cock such like frosting. Slowly, I licked it up as it dripped down the girth of his cock. I never cared how long men lasted, as long as I got the gift of their seed, I was replenished. Yet, once I received what I wanted, I seemed to grow cold in a man’s presence, letting them energetically known the game was over.
Twinkling Morning City Lights, Beyond the Character I Play, Hyper-Sexuality and Staying Lighthearted Throughout My Perceptions
For my break, I stopped in front of a wide, cascading waterfall. I was stunned with awe as it appeared to come out of nowhere when I turned the corner. Water tumbled down as it softened the edges of the black jagged rocks, covered deep in moss. Broken pieces of wood and debris were scattered at the base, yet everything felt in perfect place. The wild way of nature—untamed and unashamed of how it was—true art. Mist rose as the water roared; I sat and stared for quite some time at this meditative phenomena.
As I started walking, I saw a PCT blaze and got to reconnect with my beloved trail. It was really fun reconnecting to the spots I had once walked and seeing how much I had changed in my mentality over the years. Beyond the surface of what I appeared to be as the ever changing character ‘Goda’, in Eternity I was still the same—untouched by the passing of the world.
Hiking the Timberline Trail, Glacial Stream Crossings, Constant Birthing of the Present Moment and Time Being a Man Made Construct
At the top of the climb, there were still patches of snow to walk across, so my feet were sliding from lack of grip. On the descent, I received views of Mount Jefferson, Mount St. Helens, Mount Adams and Mount Rainier. I took a break at one of the campsites and sat down at one of the picnic tables. Someone had stacked a bunch of sticks like ladders between a couple of trees. Then, I looked down at my feet and thanked them for walking me along the trail. My shoes were on the end of their life and I was on the beginning of mine.